Clara and the Nutcracker
by TudeDeluxe
Summary: I don't even know who you are, but I think my story should be heard. Just goes to show you, fate is a little twisted in the nut. And speaking of nuts, let me tell you about this one, and how he changed my life forever. Christmas story.
1. Chapter 1: The Beginning of the End

"Clara and the Nutcracker"

I don't know why I'm telling you this. I don't even know who you are, but I think my story should be heard. You see, I have an experience I'd like to share with you. Never in my life did I ever think anything like this could happen to me. It just goes to show you, fate is a little twisted in the nut. And speaking of Nuts, Let me tell you about this one, and how he changed my life, forever.

Chapter 1

I grew up like any other kid except I had no parents…so I guess more like every other kid. I was raised by my Grandfather Drosselmeyer. How he got such a name I will never know. There's supposedly some German in my veins, but you'd never know it.

You see, My name is Clara Barks.

Or Clara Stahlbaum if you take my mother's maiden name. I have a little brother named Tommy, a serious pain in the rear, and Tommy and I are both black. We have our mothers gray eyes and according to my Grandfather our father's devilish spirit. My Grandfather was and is a saucy old timer who was loaded with as much money as he had sarcasm. Which was, a lot. He kept us busy, making sure we would uphold the family name. While Tommy was stuffed in a series of sports like football, American football, lacrosse, and track, I was stuffed in more refined practices like etiquette class, reading circle, and ballet. I didn't mind the reading circle, I've always loved to read, and ballet was one of the most amazing things in my life, but etiquette…was a bit of a challenge. I was stuffed with a lot of wit, and the only way to keep that wit from exploding inside of me, was to release it. I released it, a lot. If we were given grades in it, I would have an F, a super F. Winter in New York was beautiful. The crisp cool air cutting through the city air was to die for.

I wanted to die here, live here forever. Because here, held the New York City Ballet.

Ever since I was born I've done ballet. I still remember my first teacher Madame Lafayette. I was in a special class for young serious students and was a six year old in a class of ten year olds. "First Position!" she'd yell. We snapped into position. "Second Position!" Another crisp move. "Third!" Sometimes you would lack the crispness needed for the position, and she would smack your legs with her cane and make you do it over and over again. I loved her. If she had had a son he would've been mine. Nonnegotiable. She inspired me. She had once been a prima ballerina at the New York City Ballet before she retired. The only time I felt graceful and beautiful was when I put on my ballet shoes. They were magic, like Dorothy's red slippers, or Shazam's….hands and lay ups.

I would see her everyday; trudging four blocks through rain, sleet, and Saturdays morning cartoons to meet her. Sometimes I was the only one and no matter the day, she would always be there. We practiced one ballet often, it was The Nutcracker her favorite of all dances. I too began falling in love with it. Being named Clara, it seemed destined. I was just Clara Barks and no one would believe me if I said my Grandfather's real name was Drosselmeyer.

He had legally changed it to Stanley after he knew he was raising a granddaughter named Clara. The idiom was bad for business.

It would be like being named Scrooge with a dad named Tim.

With her guidance I was at the head of the class, pushed hardest, and started Pointe before all the others. The others thought she hated me because I was always smacked the hardest when I did something wrong, but I assured them that it was love. They thought I was mad which, I probably was. I was sure I would be like her in everyway. Long lustrous hair always put in a tight bun at the top of my head. Poised with long features and flowing with grace.

But then I hit puberty. Oh Lord, that ruined a good set of my life.

I began to grow a very womanly form, too womanly for traditional ballet. My hips and breasts grew too big. I became too solid, and let's not even talk about my butt. I struggled through it, practicing harder and harder, but to no avail. I was tone, very tone, but not thin and somewhat wispy like required. It was then that I outgrew Madame Lafayette, and at the age of 14 me, and three other girls, were moved on to an integrated dance academy.

Integrated, meaning boys.

There I had Mistress Aigre. From the moment she looked at me I knew she had it out for me. There is nothing more embarrassing and humiliating than being openly chastised for one's body in front of potential boyfriends. And having to take it. Not one word of sarcasm, or one curse escaped my lips. Ballet meant too much to me. I was moved from being Giselle in Ms. Lafayette's class to being Dancer #3 in Coppelia. I came to help out Madame Lafayette whenever I had a free day. I danced along with the younger girls and was happy to feel my supremacy over them. I was a star again, but what bothered me, was never once did Madame Lafayette correct me. Bothered, I began intentionally making mistakes to see if she would do anything. She did not.

Then one day as I was putting on my Pointe shoes in the locker room, she asked me to leave, and to not come back to dance again. "Why?" I cried horrified. "My mistakes aren't intentional I assure you! I was just…" "Hush," she said putting a finger to my lips. My eyes welled up in response. "You're using me as a crutch." "Please…" I tried to interrupt. "Shh," she said pressing harder on my lip as it began to quiver. "I know of your problem," she said sitting down on a bench and motioning me to sit beside her. "Your size and shape is not that of a traditional ballerina, and I will not lie to you, it probably never will be." I looked down, ashamed at my one transgression. "I've seen this happen to many ballerinas, and they've all tried to cope with it in different ways. You could try different forms of ballet like modern, change yourself in unhealthy ways, or quit ballet all together, but what needs to matter most…" she turned to me and grabbed my hand and placed it on my heart. "…is what here tells you."

I looked out the window. It was snowing that day.

They brushed lightly against the window and reminded me of angel tears. For the first time in our entire history, she hugged me. Her stern ways were replaced with a sudden motherly kindness that finally made my tears fall. I was 15. She looked at me smiling and beaming with all the wisdom there ever was in this world. "I have nothing more to teach you," she said. "You're the most talented dedicated dancer I have ever had the privilege of teaching. I care for you very much and you will be greater than I was, I know it."

She patted my head then and grinned coyly at me. "You may visit me from time to time, but now my dear, you must choose your own path."

I never danced for Madame Lafayette again. Six months later at the ripe old age of eighty, Madame Lafayette passed away. I didn't eat for days, but what I did do was go to class. I don't remember what I did or what we danced. I just knew I had to carry out Madame Lafayette's words, even if it killed me. Grandfather and Tommy were worried and got me to eat again by threatening to cancel my classes. It was only for a few days, but it scared them I think. I came back to class with renewed vigor not only because my promise, but because there was a new student at the class. A new male student.

In the end despite my intense concentration, dedication, and focus my path was redirected by a boy.

Typical, but hey I was young, blame the accursed endocrine system and it's interfering hormones.

Adam was an amazing Polish dancer who had come to study at our school. He had crisp short blond hair that fell like golden hay on his head. His eyes were a warm honey brown that reminded me of endless pools of chocolate. I found myself entranced watching his powerful movements. His amazing consistency as the energetic Blue Bird or the princely Romeo astonished me, but what I wanted to do with him more than anything, was perform a Pas de Deux or a partner dance.

No matter how awkward the girl was in real life, in his arms she looked regal, ethereal, beautiful, and he was strong. We had long ago begun our partner dancing. I found myself picked last in partnering because I was less easy to lift. The most popularly picked girl was Murielle, a little French girl who performed her movements with astounding technical purpose but little feeling. She was the favorite of Mistress Aigre's, but she herself hated her. She was the one who gave her nickname Mistress Sour, which is what Aigre in French meant. She was bird thin and little. Beside her I looked like a tree.

I knew however that if I was the best in the class I would be partnered with Adam. I knew that he could lift me. He wouldn't laugh at me, he would see my talent and together we would dominate the stage. In a way, he was my first love.

It was around this time when Mistress Aigre announced we would spread out on our horizons and learn alternative types of dance. I had intended to sign up for Advanced Romantic ballet but before I could do anything, Mistress Aigre signed me up for Modern and Lyrical. I was heartbroken and bitter. I began changing then I think, to the tough person I am now. I joined a kickboxing studio to gain strength and tone myself even more. My muscles developed in untraditional ways being both sport and ballet trained. I didn't care, I was untraditional in every way. I was a black, curvy ballerina. My upper torso was almost perfect for ballet work, my waist small and thin.

My legs were muscular and long. It was the space in between these areas that caused me so much agony. I was great at modern, my oddly shaped teacher Master Lawrence accepted my body type, but I could find no joy in it. I was best at performing moving angry and sad pieces, so that's what I was stuck with. My Grandfather was angry about this outcome and thought of Modern as an abomination of morals and ballet tradition. I assured him it was, and I was going to do it till I had the courage to murder Mistress Aigre. I'll never know if I was joking. I never gave up traditional ballet, and it was this year that Mistress Aigre announced we would have try-outs for "The Nutcracker."

At age 16, she could no longer deny my talent and began casting me as strong solo roles, but the pas de deux were never given to me. If my role required one, she would give it to another girl. It made me furious.

Now, age 17, I snapped back into place. I worked hard, practicing harder than I had ever done to be the Sugar Plum Princess. They chose Princess instead of Fairy because they wanted to identify with girls who wanted to be princesses. Since you obviously could become a Princess but could only be born a fairy, this was a more achievable goal. ….right.

Ignoring the absurdity of it all I worked my hardest. I did it for me, I did it for Madame Lafayette, but mostly I did it because I knew I could.

It was the day of the try-outs. There were four girls in front of me. One of them was good old Murielle. I tightened my ballet strings and dusted my feet one more time. I rolled my neck and adjusted my bun. It was already decided that Adam would be the Cavalier. He would audition with each of the girls. I watched him as his blonde hair swung in his eyes as he lifted yet another girl. His brown eyes sparkling as he did another grand jeté. Murielle was up. She danced wonderfully but I smiled because I knew I could dance even better. They ended and I knew it was my turn. I smiled, confident as Mistress Sour put on the music.

I lifted myself onto my toes and filled myself with love for Adam. His hands were rougher than I expected and he lifted me with precision, but little delicacy. I convinced myself for the moment that it was passion. He lifted me high enough, but deep inside I could tell he was not happy about it. I pirouetted, another lift. On and on we danced until we faced each other breathlessly at the end of the dance. Surprisingly the room was silent and everyone looked at me astonished.

"Well?" Mistress Aigre said annoyed to Adam. "Who was the best?" "Between whom?" Adam asked raising an eyebrow. Mistress Aigre rolled her eyes. "Murielle and Clara of course." Adam smiled at both of us but his eyes turned me cold. I could tell what the bastard was thinking. "They both danced beautifully, but I think it would be easier for me to dance with Murielle." Mistress Aigre nodded in agreement, "Then Clara, you're the Sugar Plum Princess' understudy." I shook with anger.

"Not to be forward." I began. "You are being forward," Murielle said cutting me off. "I don't give a damn," I hissed. She shut up and gaped at me astonished. "I know I danced better than her. Adam, you and Mistress Aigre know that! Why am I an understudy?" Adam laughed lightly. The laugh I once thought beautiful resonated cruelly. "Maybe it's because I can barely lift you. If you wanted to be the Princess then maybe you should have lost a little weight." I glared hard at him. "Maybe you should have gained some weight! Those baby muscles on your arms didn't exactly make me feel safe." He looked at me outraged. "ENOUGH!" Mistress Aigre yelled at me.

"Yeah," I said glaring at her. "It is enough. Call me if you need me, and hope I come." With that I stormed out of the studio, collected my things, and walked away. The production was on Christmas morning five weeks away. I awaited it in bitterness, snapping at anyone mercilessly who dared bother me. At some point when Mistress Aigre had taken me aside to give me a talking to I mentioned the fact that my grandfather could buy her and her job five times over. She shut up fast.

It was on December 24th that my life was about to change.

* * *

I stared at the Christmas tree with annoyance. The sap from the live tree was dripping on the tree skirt and would most likely damage it beyond repair. "Candles! We need more candles!" I could hear my Grandpa's rampage coming closer. "Clara please!" Grandfather yelled as he entered the room. "No more daydreaming. We have to finish decorating before our guests arrive." "Right, more candles, as if this place wasn't already a fire hazard," I grumbled. "I'll have none of that young lady," he said grumbling back at me. "Yes Grandfather," I said sighing. "Why do we have this annual party again?" He sighed as though I was beyond hope.

"It's a Barks tradition," he said, his nose turned up with a sophisticated air. "Right," I said airily. "Cause we're the traditional German upper class family." Before he could retort the doorbell rang. He looked over at the digital watch on top of the fireplace and frowned. "Twenty-two minutes early. Such bad manners." I shrugged. "Leave them outside for twenty-two more minutes." He hid a smile and began walking away. "Wait," I called out as he trod to the door. "When are we going to talk about the scholarship Grandpa?" I asked urgently. "Not now Clara," he said frowning, and then he bustled off. I rolled my eyes and continued to put trinkets on the tree.

Silently I put up a beautiful ballerina with a golden locket around her neck on the good side of the tree. Christmas music played silently behind me and I smiled softly when recognizing it as "We Three Kings." "It's beautiful Miss," Laura, our head housekeeper said. "Madame Lafayette gave it to me," I said smiling. She had also left me her house in Europe. She had no children, so she left it and everything in it in my name. Grandfather had allowed me to claim it, but had never allowed me to see it. "It was the Christmas we did our first ballet." Laura smiled as though she knew what I was thinking and walked away respectfully.

"Oh no!" Laura exclaimed. "What?" I asked frowning at her melodrama. "Tommy fall into the fire?" "No," she said disregarding the sentence. "The mice have found their way into the Christmas boxes." I looked at the big gingerbread house and picked up a half-eaten gingerbread man. Mice would have eaten it all. This had Tommy written all over it. "Hm…Where's the brat?" I asked annoyed. She shrugged. I opened my ears and behind the couch heard the sound of obnoxious eating.

Looking over I saw my lovely little brother covered in frosting with a gingerbread stuffed in his mouth. Not too gently, I pulled it away from him and smacked him on the head. "Mystery solved," I said satisfied. "HEY!" he yelled annoyed before pouting. "Hay is for horses. Stop being such a glutton. You're acting like we don't have plates upon plates of cookies in the kitchen." "Grandfather won't let me have any until the guests arrive," he said frowning. "I won't tell if you won't," I said shrugging. He smiled. "Ok." Then he began to run toward the kitchen. "Wipe the evidence off your face!" I yelled after him. He was wearing a nice suit that was sure to be horribly disfigured by the time the night's festivities were over.

Laura smiled at me and I shrugged. "It'll be our little secret." Suddenly the door swung open. "Clara!" I turned and saw my exotic aunt standing with her arms open. "Aunt Drosselmeyer!" I exclaimed wrapping my arms around her. Her features were soft and beautiful. She wore an elaborate red kimono which told me where she had just come from. She traveled all around the world going from country to country and writing books about dance types. Her books were informative and brought new light to a lot of subjects. "You're at least a head taller," she said holding my hands. "Don't remind me," I groaned. "I'll never get a dance partner. On a happy note, I'm glad you're here! I thought you weren't coming this year!"

She smirked evilly, her red hair glinting in the candle light. "And miss a chance to visit you and vex my uncle?" She laughed heartily and I smiled widely in response. We would probably be very close if she was around more often. She was good to us, but always so far away. Grandfather walked in almost instantly. "Five minutes and you're already conspiring against me." She laughed some more. "Don't worry," she reassured him. "I'll wait until your party's over before I perform any mischief." Her eyes went wide when she said the word, and I desperately hoped she planned to keep me in her devious fold. Grandfather grunted and walked away, no doubt dreading her promise.

"Where did you go this time? Mars?" She grabbed my arm and we escorted each other to the couch. "Well let's see…I met an Emperor, I sailed on a Junk, I got my first rickshaw ride, and I hiked the Great Wall of China." "Wow," I said smiling. "You must have really gotten into the culture. What's it like?" I loved New York, but I had never been out of it. "I'd appreciate it if you'd stop filling Clara's head with your stories," Grandpa interjected. "I'd appreciate it if you didn't snore in your sleep," I said sweetly.

He glared at me but I didn't care, I wanted to talk about the scholarship. He walked up to her and shook his head. "Just because you go traipsing all over the globe instead of staying put like a sensible person." "There's a world full of wonders out there Uncle, and Clara deserves to experience them." He frowned prominently. "You told her about the scholarship? How? I've been watching the home line and your cell phone calls." "It's called texting Gramps," I said with an eyebrow raised. "It's a great opportunity. It would get me in a solid company too!" He shook his head like a frenzied bull and spat, "I will not have you going and that's final!"

I had received a scholarship to go study Modern Ballet abroad in Europe. It was not my ideal dream, but at the moment in my senior year of high school, it was the best I could hope for. I had to be practical. I would never be the Sugar Plum Princess. "As long as you live in this house you will follow my rules." "Good thing I have a house of my own huh Grandfather?" I said indignantly. The doorbell rang before he could continue to talk.

Aunt Drosselmeyer motioned elegantly to the door halting us both. "Your guests are waiting." He grunted once more and stalked off. "You mustn't be so rude Clara," she said frowning. I shrugged. "I gave up on manners a while ago Auntie. Right now I just need to get by. Grandfather's driving me up a wall." She sighed escorting me to the party hall. "Some people never change…but we can always hope."

The party went on like any other party we had. Being a stickler for tradition Grandfather had made all his family and guests dress in gowns proper for the 1800's. I constantly escaped to the fireplace to avoid possible suitors talking to me. Some were bolder than Grandfather could intercept. He was like my Front tackle, and I was the Quarterback. I was sure they all had ill intentions.

All men did, just like dumb Adam. I should have seen it.

I dumb? A-dam? They're like the same word.

Soon night fell and Auntie continued to tell me about all her adventures while Tommy played by the fireplace. "…then he bowed and asked me to dance," she said smiling. "NO WAY! That player, did you?" "I couldn't say no to the king," she said snorting. "Well you could have, but it probably wouldn't have been good." "Trust me Clara," she said leaning in. "I didn't want to say no. He was HOT, with a capital HA." I snickered as Tommy gagged. "So that's your Cinderella story huh?" I asked fluffing out my nightgown.

I combed a hand through my hair. It reached to my upper back. I chopped it to my ears after Madame Lafayette died, but Grandfather had made me grow it back. "Wish I had been there. I would have said no just to see what would have happened." She pinched my cheek. Then she looked behind her to see if Grandpa was skulking about before whispering, "Maybe next time, you can come with me." I rolled my eyes and scoffed. "With you? To a foreign country? I'm lucky I get to go to the bathroom by myself. Every time I bring up the scholarship he looks like he's ready to nail me to the mantle."

Auntie laughed. "I know the feeling. Well surely he won't object to these." She went over to the table near the tree and retrieved two gift boxes. She walked over to Tommy, calling his name and handed him the box. "And for you my dear." I took the box from her; its shape strange enough that I had no guess for what it could be. "Wow! Ace's evil twin brother and a silver edition Commander Cobra! Thanks!" I laughed at whatever that meant and began unwrapping my gift box.

I struggled with the wrapping paper trying to delicately open it in case it was fragile. Then I gave up on all delicacy. "Who the heck are you trying to keep out?" I grumbled tearing at it with my teeth. She shrugged. "It was wrapped by an Egyptian priest, much like a mummy." I grunted with the effort. "Next time just stick a bow on it and drop it in a plastic baggie." Soon I managed to unwrap the box and inside a silk blanket was a beautifully carved nutcracker. I smiled bitterly.

Someone was laughing at me. A nutcracker...yaaayy...

"A nutcracker," I said, trying to sound enthusiastic. I lifted his arm and his mouth clanged open. I released the arm, and it shut. He was painted red all over except his hands, feet, and head. He had white hair slicked back hair, a black mustache, and a white square goatee.

I lifted an eyebrow. Okay, my nutcracker was part cow. His feet were painted in dark black boots and his face was a pale peach. On his head he wore a tall, almost ridiculous blue hat with a star in the middle of it. He had gold shoulder pads, and gold trim on his boots and hat. His hands were white, gloves most likely. Examining it closely I saw the craftsmanship was indeed remarkable.

"He's wonderful," I said genuinely smiling. "Thank you Aunt Drosselmeyer." I hugged her tightly. It was nice to get a toy for a change. Gramps only got me clothes and stock bonds nowadays. "He sure is ugly," Tommy interjected as he stabbed Commander Cobra with Ace's head. "Now he'll match your face," I said smiling, my tone sharp. He stuck his tough out at me, and Auntie laughed in response. Auntie leaned in as though to tell me a secret. "Well on the outside maybe, but inside beats the heart of a prince."

"Please," I interjected, feeling protective of my toy. "I've seen uglier things in the girl's locker room." I shivered for effect. "Then I'll use him to strike down Doctor Mindbender!" Tommy suddenly grabbed the nutcracker. My eyes widened as I struggled to get it from him. "Doctor who? Let it go before I break all your fingers off you little beast!" Tommy ignored me and pulled harder till I heard a sickening snap and my nutcracker landed in his arms. "Sorry," he said, realizing what he'd done.

Aunt Drosselmeyer looked at me sadly as I snatched it from him. "I should throw you and your stupid toys into the fireplace!" I turned from him, too angry to think. It's not that I loved the nutcracker just that it was mine, and my brother broke it. "Thanks Tommy, really, thanks." I walked over by the couch and saw my brother bore a sad expression on his face. For a kid who lived on violence it was almost shameful that he looked like he was going to cry. We were five years apart, but I guess in a way, I was his mother as much as his sister.

"I forgive you Tommy, next time ask to see things before you grab them." He came over to me and I patted him on the head. "Let's see the damage." I turned the broken arm over and nearly winced. "Thank God you can't feel this." "Ignore the idiot brother before me, he's not bad when you get to know him," I said to the nutcracker on my lap, looking for a piece of string to prop his arm up with. I tied it to his shoulder in a makeshift sling and smiled at my handy work. "There, now you're a veteran of the first Tommy War. War Two should be around the time his voice cracks and he wants to act tough." I jumped when I thought I saw the nutcracker's eyes shine and I handed it back to my Aunt. "You didn't tell me this thing was possessed!" "What?" she said looking at me in confusion. "It just...shined its eyes at me and short of almost…smiled." My aunt laughed. "It's the light dear, take it."

She handed it back to me and I glared at it. "I'm watching you."

For a toy its eyes were a startling blue, very blue. I looked deeply at it entranced by its gaze, and then I turned from it. For all I know it could be sucking out my soul. I laid myself on the couch sighing and looked up to the ceiling. Before I knew it, I was asleep, but I was surprisingly aware of what was happening around me. The tick of the clock was constant, and awfully loud.

"It's time we wake her," I heard my Gramps say.

Ugh. Please leave me alone.

"And spoil a beautiful dream?" my Aunt whispered. "No, let her sleep."

Right on Auntie.

"Clara's not a child anymore. She deserves the chance to follow her dreams."

Ah, the scholarship. I thought of the nutcracker I was sleeping with. Yeah, great for the whole, 'I'm not a child' image. I hoped he didn't see it.

"A young girl needs to be responsible and practical," he said turning out the light. Like hell, I thought. It's not like I'm about to give up a dream to pursue something that has promise for me as a career or anything. I had sarcasm even in my thoughts. "Clara is responsible. You've raised her well Uncle. It's time you've trusted her to grow up and make her own choices." I tried to keep a smile off my face and focused on sleeping. Maybe things would turn out good after all. "It's late," he said. "I'll see you in the morning."

I drifted off to a deep, deep sleep, unaware of the battle awaiting me.

* * *

"Insolent Mice!"

I jumped up wondering if I left the TV on. I didn't recall watching it. I lifted up and saw my nutcracker was gone. I looked around for him, looked under the couch and behind me before deciding to slaughter Tommy. Then I heard crunching next to me. A mouse was huddled on the couch eating a piece of the Christmas house. "Get off," I barked and it jumped, startled before it fell, its sword trailing behind it. Wait, its sword? My eyes widened as I turned and saw my nutcracker fighting off a bunch of mice in helmets and armor. I blinked slowly and saw the scene had not changed. "Back. Off. You. Traitors!" he said annunciating every word with a thrust. Oh no. Either he was possessed or I was high. On what though? I though back to what I had last eaten.

Could you get high on frosting? It was only one sugar cookie.

"Oh geez, what kind of dream is this?" I said shaking my head. Then out of the decorative mouse hole in the wall, two mouse guards came forth, behind them a mouse with a crown and a scepter. "You have got to be kidding me," I whispered to myself. He growled as he surveyed the room and laid his eyes on my nutcracker. He skulked towards him like a snake and glared at him with evil intent. "Even as a nutcracker, you're a thorn in my side." My mouth hung open. The fricken mouse was talking now? And why the heck did he sound like Tim Curry? My nutcracker pointed his sword defiantly at him. "And a thorn to you I shall remain. HA!"

The nutcracker pushed a book with his foot that landed plop down on the king and his followers. I smiled. For a wooden toy with one hand, that was pretty badass.

Then he jumped down as the mouse pushed the book up. I frowned. He should have sliced him as soon as he lifted it. The mouse king and the nutcracker faced off each other before the mouse king thrusted with his scepter. The Nutcracker blocked before they began matching blows. I sat on the couch wondering if I should intervene on this fantasy. Maybe it would play out like the ballet where some random chick would show up, save the day, and then I could go back to sleep.

Suddenly the mouse king knocked the sword out of the nutcracker's hand and he was sprawled on the floor. Okay, that wasn't in the story. Then he pointed it under his chin menacingly. "It's time I turned you into something more useful, like kindling!" His scepter changed into an ax and my nutcracker tried to crawl away. I jumped up, snatched a heavy vase and ran behind the mouse. "Don't even think about it!" I said evilly. "Unless you want to be messed up by a _very _heavy vase."

Hey, it sounded threatening enough to me.

"Uhm," he said watching me over and turning it back into a wand. "Meddling human towering tall! Let my scepter shrink you small." He annunciated those last words and before I could react I felt myself changing. "LOOK OUT!" Nutcracker yelled, now on top a cart. "Oh snap! He rhymed, rhyming is bad," I cursed. I knew what was happening. I was shrinking, like mouse sized shrinking. I dropped the vase and it shattered into a million dangerous pieces. How could anyone not hear this! The mouse laughed evilly and I swore that from this day on I was strictly team Tom. Screw Jerry.

"Crap," I said as I came face to face with the mouse king. "This… is not good." I backed up and he followed me, his scepter flailing. "Not so fearless now hm?" "I could still kick your ass if you played fair," I said in a fighting stance. "Well, I don't," he said lifting the scepter. Suddenly the nutcracker ran him over with the cart. He skidded back and the nutcracker retrieved his sword. He walked toward the king, but two guards were in his way. Then two he did not see came to get him from behind. I ran toward them, roundhouse kicking one in the face and slamming the other one's head into my knee. They went down like rocks.

When I turned the nutcracker was done with his two. He was also looking at me like I had lost my mind. Which I probably had…again. "Can you make it up to the mantle?" I scoffed. "Like heck. There is no way…" I turned and saw about twenty mice approaching. "…I won't. Peace out." I jumped on it and climbed up as fast as I could, barely missing a spear. The Nutcracker was fighting on the edge of the fireplace with a mouse guard. He had him knocked down when another mouse came up and ran at his back. "Behind you!" I yelled. He turned and met swords with the mouse before overcoming him with his back against the fireplace netting. "Not exactly the prime location for a life or death fight." I yelled, stressing each word to him. "I know!" he said kicking the two mice that cornered him by sticking his sword in the netting and jumping outwards.

"You've got nowhere to run nutcracker!" the mouse king yelled, his scepter now and axe. "Oh geez," I grimaced. He was stuck in mind air. He grunted in the effort to free himself. He narrowly escaped getting chopped and flipped on the other side of the fireplace. He was cornered. "You're not going to get away from me this time. Unless you'd like to feed the fire!" The king said leering. "Climb you idiot! CLIMB!" I yelled, the decorations I hung onto jingling. He jumped up with his one arm and began climbing. I had forgotten he was impaired. Once again he was missed by the mouse king's ax by an inch. "Nutcracker!" I yelled, letting him know that he had better hurry. I also wondered why the mice couldn't climb.

Supposedly they could scurry up clocks and stuff. Ignoring myself, I looked to my toy. He was breathing heavy, but managed to jump to the opposite decorations on the mantle with his one arm. I gasped and wished I could help somehow. I then thought of the glass balls on the decorations. I unhooked the ones closest to me and let them fall on the mouse king's guards. They grunted and fell in pain. Some shards stuck out of their bodies and I felt a sick satisfaction.

Meanwhile the mouse king had jumped on the pile of wood by the fire and turned his scepter into…uh oh. "CROSSBOW!" I yelled at the nutcracker. He saw it and I'm pretty sure if he could, he was sweating bullets. He dropped himself to avoid getting shot the mouse king looked eagerly about trying to find him on the ground. He was holding on, by one thread, and he was breathing very heavily. "Great!" I yelled. "Hey! UGLY!" The mouse king looked about. "UP HERE! PURPLE MAKES YOU LOOK FAT!"

He looked up angrily and kicking as hard as I could I flung my right shoe right at his noggin. It hit him dead on and I couldn't help but laugh at the hollow sound it made when it hit his head. He made some silly sounds before collapsing. The guards ran to him gasping in surprise, then picked up their unconscious leader, his scepter, and ran back into the hole. Two guards had to drag him through and grunted at the effort. "Hm," I mused. "Guess he _was_ just fat." I found to my disappointment that there were no dead mouse bodies lying about. It seemed they couldn't be killed by force. The book that the nutcracker dropped on them should have killed them right off the bat.

Suddenly I found the decorations on the mantle begin to loosen. "Oh you have got to be kidding me!" I whimpered. It let loose and I was dropped roughly before swinging straight at the nutcracker. "GANG WAY!" I yelled and his eyes widened. Screaming my lungs out, I knocked right into the nutcracker and landed on a pillow on the floor. Most of body landed on the pillow, but my left leg was straddling him, and the impact hurt.

There was nothing sexy about landing on a hard living surface.

Nothing at all.

I sighed, grateful the pillow had saved the important parts of me. "I knew you were my favorite throw pillow," I said patting it and rolling off. "I'll never throw you away." The nutcracker tried to help me down, but I disregarded him and he instead stood back a bit. "Thank you for saving my life." Then he untied the sling. "And for your superior nursing skills." I took the sash from him and frowned. "You're not supposed to be able to thank me. You're not supposed to be talking to me right now. Or at all." He looked put-off by my rudeness and walked away. "This has to be a dream," I mused to myself. "One of those pain dreams. The ones where the pain feels real." I then went to retrieve my shoe. "I'm afraid it's all too real," he said from the fireplace. He pulled out his sword and turned to me.

"Shut up. You can't talk," I said glaring away from his direction. "And I've got to return to Parthenia while I still have the chance," he said coming up behind me. I stepped forward. "Well in the event that you could talk, I would tell you that there is no such place as Parthenia. I would also tell you that if you must indeed go, you should change me back to my normal size first." "I'm afraid only the Sugar Plum Princess can reverse the mouse king's spell." I turned to face him, furious. "The Sugar Plum Princess?" "Yes, I've been trying to find her since the mouse king turned me into a nutcracker." "Ok, I'm not that imaginative. That would only mean…" I gasped and turned from him, running as fast as I could to climb up on the couch. "Hey! Wait!" he yelled running after me. "NO! STAY BACK! This cannot be real!" I rolled on top the couch at last and in less time the nutcracker was on the couch as well, holding my arm.

"Toy or not if you don't let go off me this instant I am going to go Matrix, Madea, and Jet Li on you!" "Please, let me explain," he said trying to calm me down. It had never been a forte of mine to argue with someone who was calm, so I stopped struggling. "On the ground if you wouldn't mind," he said gesturing. "You could fall and get hurt from here." I frowned then slid down, my dress slightly riding up. As he dropped I felt the distinct feeling that the nutcracker felt sorry for me.

"So you used to be…" "Not a nutcracker," he finished for me. I raised an eyebrow. Suspicious much? All of a sudden the owl from the top of the clock hooted. I yelled and took cover under the couch while the nutcracker bore his sword. "Yeah, like that'll do anything against that big old bird," I declared bitterly. "How can there be no one in this stupid house hearing this?" "Perhaps I can help," the owl said in a motherly female tone.

She sort of sounded like Madame Lafayette, which is why I came out instantly. "You will find the Sugar Plum Princess on an island across the Sea of Storms." "But it's impossible to cross the Sea of Storms," he said coming to my side. "It's dangerous yes…" she said nodding. "…but not impossible." He looked at me, and then began walking away, sword still drawn. Guess he wasn't an owl fan. I looked at the owl and she simply gestured to him with her wing. Seeing that I was not following him he stopped and turned to me. "Well? Are you coming?" I looked at him, a hand on my hip. "Are you out of your mind? Me? With you? In there? Yeah, I'll take a rain check on that one."

"Surely you don't want to spend the rest of your life as a mouse," the owl interjected sounding more and more like Madame Lafayette. "Can't you just bring me the antidote or something?" I asked the nutcracker. He shook his head. "I'm afraid the portal will close after the clock strikes one and it will disappear. The portal chooses one place each Christmas Eve and never repeats itself." I sighed and rubbed my temples. This was not happening. "But how will I get back?" The bird swooped down and I was sure I had offended it. It was going to eat me. She just passed by me and gathered the golden locket off the ornament Madame Lafayette had given me. I had never known it was removable.

"Once you have found the Sugar Plum Princess, open the locket and you will return home your normal size." "But…" I began, but the owl went back onto the clock and froze. The nutcracker walked to the hole, looked at the owl, then looked at me. "Hold on a sec," I said running under the tree. Tommy was too lazy to put away his toys. The action figures should still be here. "Bingo," I said finding the boxes. Finding that Ace's shoe size was closest to mine, I pulled off his boots and stole another figure's military pants.

"Turn around," I ordered the nutcracker, and he obliged. "I hope you are wearing your dress," he said without turning. "Why? We're going to battle mice, why do I need a dress?" "It's…proper." I scoffed. "Trust me babe," I said pulling on the pants. "You'll learn that a lot of me is traditionally improper." I had pulled on the pants and the boots over my shoes, but for his sake left on the dress. "I'll wear it since it offends you so." Slowly I put on the necklace and walked toward the nutcracker. "Ready?" he asked gesturing to the creepy hole, now a cave to me. "That is not the question you should be asking." I said saucily.

Are you okay with this? Do you have life insurance? Who's your provider? Those were appropriate questions.

"This is crazy."I quipped. "I'm…as ready as I'll ever be. Let's get this over with."

He stood there waiting and reproachfully I poked him. "Oh no, you go first." I could swear the corners of his mouth went up slightly and he walked in beside me.

It was pitch black and I couldn't even see my hands when all of a sudden I felt myself falling.

* * *

SIDENOTE/ Previous reader: Just a few grammatical and textual changes, the plot remains the same. Enjoy^^

PLEASE REVIEW! I CARE A LOT!


	2. Chapter 2: Is The End of the Beginning

"Clara and the Nutcracker"

**Chapter 2: The End of the Beginning**

It was so fast and so wild I couldn't even scream. It could only look at the swirling vortex in horror. Above me the nutcracker was also tumbling. I began to pray that he didn't fall on me. Soon we both regained our voices and began to scream. If I wasn't a part of it, I would have found the situation hilarious. We landed roughly on piles of snow. I shivered as I felt some go down my back. I have always hated the cold. Loved snow, cold though, not my thing. "Where are we?" I said looking at the vast cave of ice we were trapped in. "Must have taken a wrong turn back there. Now where did my sword go?" "Great," I said tiredly. He was still sitting and I saw his sword poking out of the snow. "Here lemme…" I pulled it out and saw that it was his sword, arm and all. "…literally give you a hand…hm."

"Sorry," he said reattaching it, looking rather embarrassed. "That happens a lot." I couldn't help but laugh. Then suddenly I heard the sound of chimes. No sooner did I hear it did a small glow of light circle around and float near my face. "Self Supporting Florescent Light?" I asked in wonder. "No," he said amused. "A snow fairy." Then the ball of light was suddenly a little girl with blonde hair and wings wearing a cute little blue tutu and ballet slippers. "It's so cute," I said breathlessly. It made some high pitched squeals, and then circled around me, then grabbed my sleeve and began pulling. I smiled widely despite myself and the fairy bounced into the nutcracker. He caught her with his hand and she stood up shakily. She then saw that one of her wings had been crumpled. Suddenly she emitted a series of loud angry squeaks that though they had no meaning to me, made me smile. "Ha, she is totally cursing you out." Hands on her hips, she continued until he said, "Well I'm sorry, but you should have been more careful." I smiled. "Here," I said extending a hand. She jumped into it with a squeak, and I felt a thrill of excitement. "We'll fix this right up."

Gently I smoothed out her wing between my fingers. "Good as new," I beamed. She tested it out, saw it could work, and then flew away. "Hm, not so much as a thank you," the nutcracker said. I shrugged. "Not everyone's as formal as you are NC." He looked at me in confusion. "NC?" "Short for Nutcracker," I said shrugging once more. "Less syllables." He frowned and then walked towards the wall of ice. "Now, time to find a way out of here." He raised his sword. "I wouldn't do that if I were…" Before I finished he hit the wall with his sword and grunted as the effort did nothing. "Ugh, these walls are solid ice." "Ya think so?" I said sarcastically. He turned and stared at me. "Must you be so negative? You haven't said a positive thing to me since we met." I was taken back. I hadn't? "…Sorry," I said reproachfully. "I…" pride stopped me before I could continue and instead I asked, "What now?" As though answering a sudden gust of wind blew my skirt about. We turned to look in the direction of the wind. To my surprise the snowflakes began bursting into tall regal fairies. The most surprising thing to me however, was that they were dancing ballet. Music was playing. I didn't ask where it came from. All I knew was that those fairies were dancing to the Waltz of the Snowflakes. I could see all the steps, clear as day and expertly executed. Lovely Boureé, Grand jeté's that stretched into the sky, pirouettes that never ended. Every move accented by blue fairy dust. I could only stare in wonder as the blue fairies danced through the air.

They themselves were blue with blue hair, and they had snowflakes for tutus. Suddenly the blonde fairy came spinning dizzily into the circle. She must have been young still. She tried hard to get into the dance, but she was not quick enough to enter their complex patterns. They swirled around me, wrapping me in light. The nutcracker watched, as wowed as I was. They formed beautiful patterns in the sky. Then suddenly, I was pulled on my finger, by the blonde fairy towards the circle. She had definitely gotten stronger. "Oh no, I…" she ignored me and showed me a simple horse step and then gestured for me to do it. Despite myself I did it and enjoyed it too. Then she tried to make me pirouette and I tried to do it in my boots. Nevertheless the snow in my mouth told me I had failed. I turned to look at NC and saw he was respectfully trying to not laugh on my account. The blonde fairy looked very sadly towards me, then looked at the other fairies who began gathering at the ice wall. They danced closer now. I giggled as one jetéd off the top of my head. So awesome.

They swirled in one wave and I watched as they grabbed the nutcracker and pulled him closer to me. "Hey!" he yelled laughing. He was close to me now, and I couldn't help but think about how blue his eyes were. I turned away and watched them as they all flew at the wall. Suddenly we were flooded with light. They had opened the cave up for us. "I guess this was their thank you." He began walking. "Ha, you think?" I said joyfully following him. "Bye snow fairies!" I yelled. "Where'd they go?" He shrugged. "Probably off to make a blizzard somewhere." We walked on toward the cave. Little did I know my footsteps were causing something magical to happen. "You didn't tell me there was ballet here," I said smiling. "We created ballet, do you dance?" I frowned for a moment and said, "No." Before he could ask me more I gasped.

It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. It was like God himself had painted the canvas of land that lay before me. "Welcome to Parthenia," he said, happy at my reaction. I could do nothing but gape and voice my opinions. "It's…so beautiful." I heard birds chirping everywhere. The grass was go amazingly green it almost hurt to look at it. The snow… I picked some up. "The snow isn't even cold," I said with astonishment. "The trees actually smell like peppermint, and I've never seen a sky so blue." But then again, you never just saw the sky in New York. He nodded in agreement "Soon it'll all be a memory if the mouse king has his way." I frowned. This is probably what earth would be like if we never polluted it. "Then let's go kick his ass!" I said straightening my boots. "I'll be damned if I let that rodent destroy a place like this." I turned and saw the nutcracker look at me strangely. "Why do you speak that way?" I cocked my head to one side. "Huh?" "Why do you speak as though you are a man? And a mild mannered one at that." I shrugged. "It's just the way I speak. Sort of like a natural deterrent I guess." He walked up next to me and looked in my eyes. "Who do you need to deter?" My eyes widened startled at both his eyes and the question. I rubbed my head. "Ugh, at the moment, you." "Let's get going." We began climbing down a series of stone steps. "And you're sure the Sugar Plum Princess can help?" I asked. "She's our only hope of defeating him," he said firmly. "I really hope she exists," I said jumping over a branch. "For our sake."

Unknown to us, Pim, the spy bat of the mouse king had just taken flight.

* * *

We walked until we hit a village. I could tell it was going to be bad when I saw it covered in fog. Giant pieces of candy were scattered everywhere. Pieces that were supposed to be doors and wagons we laying, strewn everywhere. "It's what's left of the Gingerbread Village. The mouse king's work no doubt." He walked forward, angrily. I frowned. "What kind of people lived here? Toaster Strudel?" He frowned sadly, though he did not know what I meant. "I didn't know things had gotten this bad."

I looked to my left and saw a small children's doll. Its feet were two different sizes, its hair was brown yarn, its dress was made of scraps and its eyes were blue buttons. It was handmade no doubt with a mother's love, and now the child or mother was gone. I picked it up and felt myself turn a bit sick as I passed it to NC. "What kind of hellish fairytale do you live in?" Suddenly we heard a horse whiney. We walked toward it. I stopped cold in my tracks. The horse was pink, and had blonde hair. A pink horse with blonde hair…and blue eyes…that's normal. I walked up to it combing its mane. "Steady," I said patting it. "We won't hurt you." It calmed down. "What are you like My Little Pony's Mom or something?"

Suddenly I was hit very hard on my butt by a snowball. "What the!" I yelled. "It's an ambush!" NC yelled squatting down as the snow began to fly. "Take cover!" "An ambush with snowballs?" I asked mockingly. "And why isn't the horse freaking out?" It was simply chilling in the corner. We slowly inched up and saw that a little girl dressed like a candy cane and a little boy dress like a gingerbread were throwing the snowballs. "It's alright, they're just children." Then a snowball knocked hit hat off his head. I dove down instantly. "Yeah! Kid's who nearly took your head off!" "Yeah, very good aim," he said surprised. Thinking of the doll suddenly I stuck it up in the air so they could see it. "WAIT!" The snowballs ceased. I slowly got up. "We found this. Is she yours?" The little girl ran towards us is excitement. "Patty!" she yelled. She took her and hugged her to her chest.

Her outfit was that of a pink candy-cane with a kind of clown twist to it. Her long blonde hair spilled out the top of her hat. "And for the record kid," I said patting her head. "Never approach a stranger, even if they have something of yours or want to give you something. Not everyone's like us." The boy lingered in an Eskimo like jumpsuit complete with brown mittens and a bag. He had cropped little blonde hair. "And you!" I yelled to him. "You have to stay with your sister at all times. You're her protector, so if anything, you should've been throwing tons of snowballs to get her away from us." He began to trudge over, so we looked at the little girl with her doll. "What happened here?" asked the nutcracker. "We went out with Marzipan to gather candle berries," she said in a high-pitched voice, petting her horse. Whatever those are, I thought. "We came back and everything…" the boy said in an equally high voice petting the horse as well. "…And everyone." "…Was gone." "Hm," I said. "Your fraternal twins aren't you?" "Huh?" they said at the same time. I shook my head. "Nevermind."

"It was the mouse king's army," she said unhappily. The boy folded his arms. "This is all Prince Eric's fault." I noticed the nutcracker noticeably droop. More suspicion. "Who's Prince Eric?" I asked. "The son of the king who ruled before the mouse took over," he answered. Mentally I put a check next to the possibility. That would explain his uncalled for chivalry and his tableside manners. "Yeah, but he wasn't much of a prince." The little boy spoke while the little girl shook her head for emphasis. "The King left his throne and golden scepter to his royal advisor…" the nutcracker continued. "The mouse," the little girl declared sadly. "Until the prince could prove himself worthy."

"Lemme guess," I said rolling my eyes. "Rat boy decided he liked being the Big Cheese? Ugh, I'm getting lamer by the minute. But what happened to Prince Eric?" The boy frowned and flailed his hands in dismissal. "Don't know don't care." The girl shook her head in agreement. "We're better off without him." I frowned at their animosity and watched the nutcracker bring along Marzipan's coach. "You kids are too young to have so much animosity." NC laughed. "You're full of animosity." I narrowed my eyes. "Yeah, cause my mind is old as dirt." He smiled a sad smile before picking up the boy and setting him in the carriage. "It's dangerous here. We'll travel together until we can find you a safe home." "I hope you can drive this thing," I said jumping in the front. "But of course," he said grabbing the reins and Marzipan began to trot away. "Onward Frou Frou horse!" I yelled.

As we rode on we suddenly heard a commotion father down the hill. We stopped and…parked Marzipan, before walking up the hill. Over the cliff we saw the mouse kings soldiers carrying away large pieces of candy in carriages. "The mouse king's army," I said in annoyance. "Carrying away what's left of our village!" The little girl said angrily. I patted her comfortingly. "Well it wasn't exactly the smartest game plan to make a village out of delicious edible sweets." She wrinkled her nose. Suddenly NC grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the other side of the hill. "May I speak with you for a moment?" he asked calmly. "Not like your giving me a choice NC," I grumbled as I was pulled gently through the children. "We'll be right back." Then when we out of hearing distance he turned to me. "Why must you act so tactlessly?" I put my hands on my hips. "Excuse me? Are you telling me an edible village is a stupendous idea?" "No," he said rolling his eyes. "Not just that comment. Everything you say." My eyes widened and I was about to curse at him when NC silenced me with a harsh whisper. "Why are you so obnoxious? You have manners but you refuse to use them!" I didn't know how to respond, not that NC allowed me to anyway. "You don't consider other's feelings when you say your comments. You know your being rude." I glared at him and jabbed a finger in his chest. "And what's your excuse Mr. Chivalry?" I whispered angrily. "You want me to be something I'm not! You're not even trying to see things my way! All you do is act like your better than me, and ya know what?" I shook my head and frowned. "Maybe you are." He looked at me shocked, but the children suddenly motioned for us to come.

Hearing a distressed whiney, we saw Marzipan was being accosted by two mouse king soldiers. Unsure of what to do I felt better when Marzipan tugged away and ran over then with the carriage. "Right on frou frou horse!" I whispered joyfully. Then they saw us at the top of the hill. "THERE THEY ARE!" one of them yelled, and then began to run at us. "COME ON!" another yelled as they began to fill the valley. "Come on!" I yelled myself. "What are you waiting for!? Into the woods!" We ran as fast as we could, me in front, the children in the middle, and the nutcracker behind. We were breathing heavy, but we kept a fast pace. Suddenly a mouse jumped out the woods in front of me. Wasting no time, I punched him in the face and jumped over him. "Haul ass! COME ON!" The others followed suit. "They're getting closer!" the little girl yelled. "Up here!" I suddenly heard. A long rope ladder dropped out of a tree.

In front of us however were three mouse soldiers. NC went to draw his sword but stopped when I grabbed his shoulders. Lifting myself up I delivered a nasty drop kick into the neck of the first soldier. Catching on NC grabbed my arms and swung me into the next mouse. My foot connected neatly with his jaw. He dropped me and finished off the last mouse as I pushed the children faster up the ladder. "GET EM!" we heard as we neared the top, the sound of clanking metal urging us faster. The nutcracker was last to pull himself up. "Is everyone alright?" He asked, and then saw my dour look. Along with the several spears aimed at my head. "Uh," I said holding the children. "Define alright, cuz I'm not really sure." "Well," a gruff voice said, a sword in his hand. To my left was a tall skinny Caucasian man who mirrored a tin toy solider in every way. His pants were blue, his shirt red and adorned with a white X and white shoulder pads. To my surprise, his hat mirrored NC's. I mentally wrote that down too. Behind him looking everything like a sexy Aladdin, was a handsome Indian man dressed in white and blue finery. He had a white turban on his head, a white shirt with white pants, a blue sash across his chest, and blue pointy boots on. Sadly, he too had a sword.

"What have we here!" the Tin soldier said. "A wooden spy?" Asked Aladdin. "Some new kind of mouse king trap?" "Oh please," I interjected. "What is this the Trojan War?" They looked at me shocked. "Do you really King Jerry would make something intellectual? All he does in smash stuff!" The tin man then came towards the children and me. I walked forward, pushing them behind me, getting in a fighting stance. "Kidnappers as well!" He yelled, his sword facing me. "No!" the little girl yelled. "They helped us!" "If you have nothing to hide," Aladdin said using his sword to annunciate, "…you won't mind answering a few questions." Then he walked away. "Come children," Tin man said. "Masher will take care of you." I bent down and hugged the children, rapidly whispering, "If you get in any trouble, scream and I'll be there before you blink." Then I walked away, leaving them in the hands of a strange plump woman who beckoned them eagerly. Too eagerly. Please don't eat them, I thought unhappily as me and NC were led into the tree house.

"Arg, let's start with who you are, and what your doing here!" the tin man said in a throaty voice. "I'm Nutcracker," NC volunteered, "And this is Clara. We're both victims of the mouse king's magic." I took a breath to make sure I didn't sound forward. "We're trying to find the only one who can defeat him. The Sugar Plum Princess." The tin man looked at me outraged. "The Sugar Plum princess?" asked Aladdin in wonder. "Well I've never heard of such a ridiculous story!" "It's the truth, told to me by Prince Eric himself," NC said humbly. I looked at him. Since when did he personally know Prince Eric? Another check on my list. Ho ho. "Prince Eric?" Tin man said in annoyance. "He's the reason we're in this mess! If it weren't for that reckless boy, the mouse king wouldn't be turning everyone into knickknacks!" I looked at NC and was shocked to see how crestfallen he looked. "You make the Prince sound pretty awful," he said downcast. "Awful!" Tin man said. Then he cleared his voice in strange way, as though he was speaking. "That's a compliment! He was useless, lazy and irresponsible!" He got up close to NC's face and he turned his head as a response. "Hey!" I said as politely as I could. "Do you need a lozenge?" "I beg your pardon?" He asked me confused. "You sound like you're going to lose a lung. What the heck is with the coughing?" I promptly mirrored his annoying habit and he looked at me in horror. "Why you cheeky…" "Major Mint, you're forgetting that Prince Eric was my friend," Aladdin said instantly walking up to NC's rescue. I knew I'd like him, and now tin man had a name. "Captain Candy!" Major Mint said in indignation. I snickered and saw that NC was looking at me. He gave me a small smile. "You're forgetting that _I_ am your superior!" Captain Candy shook his head and rolled his eyes way up in his head. I held back a laugh. "I had high hopes for that boy…Rirrrrrrirrr, no matterrrr," he grumbled. "I've got more important things to worry about, like keeping what's left of our subjects safe."

"Then maybe you should be looking for the princess too," I said in a coy voice. Major Mint looked at me astonished. I often had that effect on people. "I don't have time to search for some…Sugar Pie…Ririii…Ririii…rarraragaH." "Uh, Sugar Plum Rir Riraagah ," I said smirking. "Ririrrhy some imaginary princess!" he yelled. "Cool it Scooby Doo, " I whispered under my breath. "Wait Major," Captain Candy said walking towards him. "They may be telling the truth. I once overheard the King telling Prince Eric about this powerful Princess. The King himself believed in her magic, and we've tried everything else to defeat the mouse." "Hm," the Major said, stroking his gray beard. "Do you know where she is?" "We've learned she's on an island across the Sea of Storms," NC answered firmly. The Major erupted in a series on nonsensical grunts. Then he stopped. "Very well. We'll all go looking for the Sugar Plum Princess." Suddenly with base in his voice and pointing to his chest he declared, "But I'll be in charge of the expedition!" I kept my mouth shut, my lips quivering to say the many, many things that came to mind. "Oh course," NC said humbly and began to follow me out. Before he left Captain Candy put on hand on his shoulder. "Do you know what became of Prince Eric?" he asked solemnly. I watched the nutcracker as his eyes flickered between Candy and the floor. "The mouse king destroyed him," he said solemnly. I frowned looking at Captain Candy's grieving face. I knew it. The final piece of the puzzle. As the nutcracker walked out of the room I knew who he really was.


	3. Chapter 3: Duty and Consequence Push You

"Clara and the Nutcracker"

**Chapter 3: Complications**

It was decided that the children were to stay with _Masha_. Major Mint really needed speaking lessons. I had reluctantly given my dress to her for it's washing and was now wearing the army pants from Tommy's doll and a blanket over my shoulders. I was currently tucking in the little boy and girl, while trying to explain why they would be left behind. I felt a maternal chill run through me when they looked at me for guidance. It both scared me and thrilled me at the same time. "What about Marzipan?" she asked worriedly. I tucked a strand of hair behind her head. "I'm sure she'll be fine," I said, even though I wasn't sure. "And you'll be staying here with Masha until we get back ok?" They both smiled at me widely. "Ok," she said content. I then looked at her, "Can I call you Pepper?" She nodded widely at me. "…and can I call you…Ginger?" I asked the boy. "Sure," he said elated. I had learned that it was a custom of the Gingerbread people to name themselves when they came of age. That age was 13, so Pepper and Ginger still had a ways to go. "Goodnight," I said walking away. "Goodnight Clara," they said in unison. Walking out I saw the moon was a bright full orb. It seemed so big, like if I reached out, I could touch it. Sitting alone was NC, hunched over like a defeated man in deep thought. "Can't sleep?" I asked, unsure of what else to say. "I'm a nutcracker," he said laughing in a bitter tone. "Sleep seems kind of pointless." I sat down next to him. "Don't give me that bull," I chided gently. "You're more than a cracker of nuts, Prince Eric." His eyes widened and he looked at me in shock. "All you have to do is crack the mouse king's nuts, metaphorically speaking of course." He looked down into his lap. "What's with the lies?" I asked him, my eyes holding him down. "The rest of these folks may have taffy for brains, but I see right through you." He looked at me, his blue eyes as solemn as his tone. "Do you?" I could tell the question meant more than what it appeared, but on compulsion I said yes.

"Then I could say the same for you," he said gently. My eyes harden. "Care to elaborate?" I said firmly. He sighed, resigned. "What your doing now, that barrier you need to put up as a deterrent. It's to protect yourself from others by pushing them away from you. You don't want to be hurt. Why did you say you don't dance? I know you do." I looked at him shocked. "How?" I asked softly. He smiled softly. "You walk on your toes, and when we were in the ice cave I could see you were itching to dance." I frowned. "I did dance, and I fell remember?" He smiled fully now. "You _were_ wearing boots, remember?" I sighed. "Okay, yes. I can dance, happy?" He tilted his head. "I did not ask for my own happiness. Why did you lie?" I looked into his eyes and he stayed silent, beckoning me to tell my tale. "I asked you first,' I said childishly. "I asked you second," he chided. I smirked. Some things were universal. Then I focused on the task at hand. Never had anyone been so patient with me before, not even Madame. I looked down and folded my hands. Before I knew it, I had poured out my whole life's story. I told him about Madame Lafayette, Grandfather, Auntie, Tommy, the scholarship, Murielle, Adam…and he just sat and listened.

When I was done I just sat there in trepidation, scared of what he would say. Almost a whisper, he said, "So why do you listen to them?" I turned to him. "What?" He tried again. "You act rudely because that pushes people away from you, and then you don't have to worry about being rejected. Why do you care what people think enough to alter who you are?" I saw stunned silent. Truth be told, I have never thought of it that way. I had always thought of my rudeness as a "sticking it to the man" kind of protest. Not as…a weakness. "It's because they all say the same thing. I can't be a prima ballerina. " "Why?" he asked me frowning. "I told you why," I said grumpily. "Plus my partner work is probably sloppy because I don't extend properly. I'm afraid that if I do, they'll drop me." He frowned more. "Well perhaps it is not you. Perhaps it is your partner." My brows furrowed. "Are you saying Adam's too weak?" "I'm saying," he said staring at me firmly. "That perhaps you need to work with adult partners. If you have talent and strength, your size shouldn't be a problem. **It's not your size. It's how high you jump and how strong your abdominal muscles are.**" I shrugged. "Well Adam's 18, he's basically a man. If…" The nutcracker was laughing at me. Hard. "What?" I asked offended. He stopped laughing and smiled at me. "A boy is not a man until he reaches his 21st birthday." 'So how old are you, four?" I said teasingly. He smirked. "In my mind I'm as old as dirt." I smiled wider, then let it drop. "Hey," I said loudly. He gave his full attention to me. Another shocker. Guys usually found it hard to give me a passing glance.

"So what's your story?" I said gentler. "I…" he began staring at his lap. Then he looked at me. "I didn't want to be the Prince when I had the chance…now I don't deserve to be." I rolled my eyes and resisted the urge to sock him. "Even you can't possibly believe that," I said indignantly patting his back. "You're risking your life to save your kingdom! Isn't that what Prince's do? If you didn't deserve it you'd be chilling out on your butt in some place like, Normandy. " He shook his head sadly. "But my subjects think less of me then they do the mouse king." Ouch, that had to suck. He closed his eyes. "My only hope is to find the Sugar Plum Princess so she can help them restore my people's happiness. I owe them that." He looked out into the sky, the moon bouncing off his wood. Then he began to walk away. For the first time in looking at him, I didn't see a toy or a present, I saw a man. A man who was suffering with the burden of his kingdom on his shoulders. A man who had laid all his cards on the table for one person. The Sugar Plum Princess didn't even realize the power she had over him. I put my hand on him for a moment and he paused. "I promise…swear… I'll help you find her." He nodded slowly at me, waited for me to let go, and just as slowly, walked away. Sitting on the edge of the tree house I watched his back disappear around a bend. Then I stared at the bright, overwhelming moon, and whispered a prayer.

* * *

The next morning we awoke bright and early. I had adorned my dress and shoes, leaving Tommy's toy pants and boots with Masha. I felt strange, but ignored it as I saw NC walk towards me. "Good morning," he volunteered. "Morning," I said awkwardly. I felt weird after the talk last night. He nodded and began to help Captain Candy with the gear. "Hey NC," I yelled. He turned to me. "Yes?" "Truce?" I offered. He smiled. "Truce." Being the annoying chivalrous pricks they were, they kept me from any lifting or supply carrying. Major Mint led us on like the Mother Duck he was born to be, and I bit back my thoughts on this. "What's wrong?" NC asked silently. "Trying not to insult Major Mint." "Is it hard?" he whispered, amused. Major Mint then chose at that moment to trip over a rock. He righted himself with a series of 'rightos,' and 'rirrargs.' "You have no idea," I said pained. He laughed. "If you want help with that, I'll intervene." I smiled. "Thanks." "You're very welcome," he said smirking. "Don't push your luck," I said before gasping. "Ah. There's our bridge!" Major Mint said pointing. My mouth was left open. A series of floating rocks, all of different shapes, sizes, and distances from each other were positioned above a raging ravine. "Perhaps we should find a safer place to cross," NC said gently. "Yeah. I knew you were crazy as hell." NC looked at me frowning. I shrugged. "Sorry. You gotta be quicker than that." Major Mint sniffed. "Perhaps you should remember who's in charge of this expedition," he said loudly. "Perhaps, you should go first," I grumbled. "Of course," he said pulling up his already tight pants. We all waited and watched him approach the supposed, 'bridge.'

He stepped a foot delicately on the first rock and started emitting a series of nervous sounds as the rock tilted side to side. "Whoop, whoop! Ah ha ha, Doup dah, HE HAH! Rightto! Ah, No problem at all. Wahah! Rriirr Come along! Ahhhhhhhiii!" Captain Candy followed him as he walked to the next stone. He followed suit with is own series of noises. Major Mint randomly erupting in crazed laughter. I watched in horror, holding onto NC's arm. "WAHHAAH HAAH HAAH HAAH!" the major said in a high-pitched voice. "Should we go?" NC asked looking at me amused from my death grip on his arm, "Are you crazy?" I whispered gruffly. "That dude's a head case! Don't you hear him? You can't trust a head case!" Suddenly, arms flailing backward, Major Mint unconsciously pushed Captain Candy in order to regain his balance. "Well hm, tricky," he said, balanced. NC and I ran to the edge, seeing Candy's bag had fallen in the ravine. He was hanging on for his life on a bending branch. "Ah! HELP!" he cried. Major mint seemed oblivious to this all. NC tried to reach down to him, but he was too far away. "Please! HURRY!" the Captain yelled. The branch was snapping, we could hear it. One of his hands dropped as the branch rocked and rock debris fell beside him. With a quick idea, NC and me managed to get enough length to reach Captain Candy. The branch fell, tumbling wildly into the ravine.

It was then that our _leader _chose to mentally join us. Having completed his journey he turned and said, "WADD!" nearly falling in himself. Once again righted he declared, "I'll be gobstruck.." NC had taken off his other arm, put that in his firm one and was pulling Captain Candy up. I held NC by the waist, pulling as hard as I could. "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU EAT?" I yelled, wishing I had brought my boots. Finally Captain Candy was up. "Sorry," NC said apologetically. "Didn't have any rope." I was bent over, hands on my knees panting. "And THAT is why…you never trust…a head case!" The Captain smiled at NC, nodded and proceeded to cross. NC then looked at me and stepped on the bridge. I stayed where I was. "Uh. No. Did you not just see that?" He smiled at me. "I'll hold onto you." Whimpering I grabbed his hand. "Can't you just throw me across instead?" He didn't answer me, but smiled still, holding me as we took turns jumping from rock to rock. I sighed in relief when we reached the other side. "Are you sure you're alright to travel?" I asked Candy, who was sitting on a rock, most likely stunned. "I'm fine. Please don't d-don't worry about me," he said unconvincingly. Major Mint then chose to remedy the situation, or so I thought. "Rirr a, bad luck about your knapsack, now we'll be needing more supplies!" I don't know what I looked like, but whatever it was, NC instinctively held onto my arm. "One shot," I whispered. "That's all I would take." He held fast. "Supplies?" Captain Candy said standing in disbelief. "I almost fell into the ravine!"

"Well," Major harrumphed. "Don't blame me for your sloppy foot work and your general clumsiness!" I felt NC's hold tighten. "Clumsy?" Captain Candy said outraged! "I'm clumsy!?" Taken back, Major Mint looked side to side in shock and walked on in annoyance. "You're the bumbling clodhopper!" "Who's dangling from a branch?!" Major Mint said loudly. "Who's leadership skills put me there!?" We lingered behind as they marched off. "Nice interceptive powers," I said laughing. "I keep my word," he said releasing me. "That was very noble of you," I said bumping him with my shoulder. He laughed. "It was the least I could do for an old friend." I walked forward, and he trailed behind me. He was a king alright; he just had to see it himself. We reached the edge of the Sea of Storms. About ten minutes before we got there we knew we were close. How else would you hear thunder on a clear blue day? The gray sea looked foreboding on the horizon, and I wondered mildly if this was such a grand idea. The Major faced us, and I could tell something dumb was cooking in his brain. "Well, the Captain and I will make a boat seaworthy, while you two gather…supplies." Then he walked off. "Supplies?" I asked Captain Candy. He just shrugged apologetically and followed the Major.

"Clara, come with me," Nutcracker said waving me on. A chill went down my spine when he said my name. Despite myself I could feel a small smile tugging at my lips. I followed him until we reached a desolate barren wasteland of rock dust. It was shaped like a bowl. Dying trees sat in the distance and not an animal was in sight. This scene saddened me. Why had he brought me here? "The well used to be over there," he said shocked at what lay before him. We walked into the middle of the land and saw a circle covered in rocks. Pushing them aside NC found what he was looking for. "Here it is," he said drawing his sword. "Well somebody must have caped it." With a little effort he stuck his sword edge under the cap and pried it out. Immediately little specks of light flew out sounding like hundreds of little chimes. Greens, Purples, Blues, Oranges, and every bright color jumped out of the well. They were fairies as elegant as the snow ones with hair that matched they're color. I noticed with some delight that there were fairies of all races, even mine. A small short haired brunette one stopped before us. Garbed in a pink and green tutu, like a flower she tinkled to me, and then tinkled in NC's ear. "You're welcome," he said smiling warmly. "Why are the kid fairies distinct?" I asked watching the amazing figures before me. All the others were basically the same. He smiled as she flew away. "There can only be one child fairy in a species at a time. This fairy leads the others. Fairies believe that all good and pure things in this world originate from children. Thus in order to be good and pure, they must follow the youngest fairy." I nodded in understanding. "The mouse king's army destroyed this valley and trapped them in the well," he said, gesturing to the fairies still flying out the hole.

"Aren't you playing hero today?" I said coyly. NC rubbed the back of his head. It almost seemed like he was embarrassed. Suddenly the child fairy did a loud whistle. They flew to her immediately. With a series of squeaks she had given the other fairies orders. They then flew to carry them out. I noticed she looked briefly in NC's direction. What surprised me was when the fairies flew down, chirping and cooing around me. "What?" I asked surprised. NC laughed and bashfully said, "They say…you're beautiful." I looked down unsure how to take this. "Thanks," I said shyly as they laughed on my account. "…to them I mean," I said quickly. NC said nothing but simply smiled widely. Music from somewhere began again, and I knew it was the Waltz of the Flower Fairies. As they danced the barren landscape was filled with vegetation. Green grass grew up, covering the ugly scars the mouse king had left. They rose, dancing with simple jumps and moves. As they rose, so did the plants they made. Beautiful lilacs and tulips of every color sprung up. Those were the only flowers I could identify. Everything else was extremely exotic. They gave the trees life, growing fruit on their now thick branches. It was unimaginable that the beautiful forest we were in now was once that desert we stood in.

As we walked through a fairy dumped apples on NC's head. "Hey!" he yelled. I simply laughed. "You say that a lot with fairies." He laughed with me and joyfully picked up an apple that fell straight into his hand. "Supplies," he said, tossing the fat apple in his hand. I picked them eagerly as they fell gently in my hand, no force needed. They were gifts. Soon a few fairies flew around my feet dancing along and then they swirled around my head. They were doing a series of perfect pirouettes that they kept spinning. My feet itched to dance and they filled me with such childlike wonder. They wanted me to pirouette too. Slowly I turned and spun with the fairies who then went off to do some boureé, making another bed of flowers. When NC turned back towards me I had a neat little pile of supplies. I felt like I was glowing from my head to my toes. Probably why he had brought me here. I had never felt so humbled in my life. I smiled widely at him. "How will we bring them back?" I asked him softly. "They'll probably make us a basket when they're done," he said smiling back at me. They were doing the most lovely **plies** and arabesques in the air.

Once again those meddling fairies pushed NC and me together, facing each other. Shivering I looked into Nutcracker's eyes as he extended a gentle hand toward me. I felt something strange and warm that I had never felt before. I needed to take that hand. As I was about to grab it, a ferocious roar pierced the sound. The music promptly ended to say the least. Over the hill a large hideous rock monster came from over the hill. The fairies booked. It was NC and me that were left staring stupidly at it. For about a nanosecond. "RUN!" Nutcracker screamed. He didn't have to tell me twice. I never had run so fast in my life. The apples were stomped on mercilessly, his steps shaking the ground. Despite our comradery I was in front of him and ran without looking back. The giant was definitely a gift from the mouse king. "I DON'T WANT IT!" I yelled to the sky. "RETURN TO SENDER! RETURN TO SENDER!!!!" I ran as fast as I could knowing I'd have to warn Captain Candy and that idiot about the monster. "MAJOR!" I yelled at the top of my lungs. "CAPTAIN!" My voice echoed in the wind. "PUSH THE BOAT INTO THE WATER!"

"Oh, what's she carrying on about now?" Major said annoyed. "Probably saw a snake or a spider or a…" "ROCK GIANT!" Captain Candy yelled pointing behind me. NC was hauling ass to get away. "Great googly…" Major said, his spectacle falling out. "PUSH THE DAMN BOAT IN THE WATER!!!" I yelled, the giant having suddenly stopped at the top of the hill. "Blimey! He's right there!" A talking bat said fluttering crazily. "I'm blind as a bat and I can see him!" "STUPID BAT!" I yelled as the Major continued to simply stare at the monster. "I'M GOING TO FIND YOU AND MAKE YOU INTO A BELT!!!" Seeing that the idiots weren't going to move I dove behind a rock and yelled them over. "MAJOR! CAPTAIN! OVER HERE!" As soon as they and NC reached over to me, the rock monster had flung a huge rock at the ship. Destroying it instantly. Then Major Idiot chose this time to lose his mind. Standing up he yelled at it loudly, "I worked on that sail a good half hour you cheeky blighter!" "Why don't you invite him over for tea and cakes while you're at it!" Captain Candy said since dear Major had ruined our positioning. Meanwhile NC was holding me down. "I'll kill you!" I yelled as I struggled. "I'm going to fricken end your life you moron!" The rock giant walked to us, now seeing us perfectly. We scrambled up watching, as we stood between the murderous Sea of Storms, and the lovely Rock Giant ready to turn us into soup

Suddenly the snow fairies swirled around us. They then flew at the Rock Giant distracting it with one decoy fairy. "Look," I said in wonder. The fairies swirled up and in a wave rammed into the ocean, freezing it solid. When it was solid, they led Marzipan onto it with an awaiting carriage tied to her. "Come on," NC yelled running. "Before the snow fairies disappear!" I ran directly after him, leaving Captain Candy to pull an unmoving Major Mint along. Surprisingly NC hurried me into the back of the carriage and Major Mint drove Marzipan along. I sighed grateful. "I will never call you a frou frou horse again. I love you Marzipan," I said lovingly. When we had reached a good distance the fairy disappeared. The rock giant began following us on the ice. "Fall through," I whispered to myself. "Fall through…" He was gaining on us. "Ah, he'll break right through that ice," Candy said in amazement. Despite his saying the Rock Giant hurried on like nothing changed. "Looks like the Snow Fairies did their job too well," Major said. "Why is it that the only time you say an intelligent comment, it's bad for us!?" I yelled angrily. With decision NC jumped up and yanked the reigns of Marzipan. "What are you doing?" I yelled as he jumped out the carriage. He didn't answer, but instead drew his sword. "A sword won't do you any good lad," Major Mint said sadly. "You'll be pulverized!" he yelled at him. For some reason I trusted in NC. "Be careful," I yelled after him. "Don't worry," he said lifting his sword up and jammed it into the ice. "Wood floats…rock doesn't." He ran back to us after he finished breaking up the ice. The crack began to widen at an alarming rate. "Hurry," I screamed, a hand outstretched. "Come on!" Major Mint yelled. "Put some zig in it!" "Start the horse!" I yelled at the Major, and for once he listened. "COME ON!" yelled. Nutcracker finally jumped onto the back of the carriage. I pulled him in as fast as I could. The Rock Giant fell through the ice, trying desperately to stay a float. With a final breath it stretched it's arm out to the sky and roared to the unforgiving sky.


	4. Chapter 4: To Be Your All

"Clara and the Nutcracker"

Chapter 4

We had traveled for hours through the fog on Marzipan. She had to be the strongest horse in history, because we never stopped once. "If this fog doesn't lift we'll never find the Princess' island," NC said gently. I was laying on his shoulder, tired from all the humidity. At this statement I promptly got up. "Hey," I said playfully tapping his forehead. "We're not supposed to find it easily. She wouldn't be that powerful if it was easy. It just means we're close." I then looked at him sternly. "And so what if we don't? _You_ battled the mouse army, rescued Captain Candy, and saved us from a vicious pile of rock! All without the Sugar Plum Princess." He frowned, not convinced. "The mouse king is too powerful to take on alone." I looked down annoyed. "Besides," he continued. "We've gotta find the princess if your to return home your true size." I looked down suddenly sad. Why was I sad all of a sudden? "That is what you want…isn't it?" He asked me softly. Damn, a loaded question. "Of course," I said, smiling unconvincingly. We turned away from each other and looked on into the fog. I felt I couldn't see anything, in more ways than one. Once again, fate would have it that a little rat on wings had heard our entire conversation.

We continued for hours, a desolate feeling of lost hope beginning to fill us. Despite this, somehow, I was glad because it meant I could stay. Why? I spared a glance beside me. He was a wooden toy. Aesthetically pleasing as nothing else, but a toy. Why…it suddenly hit me like a ton of bricks. I was falling in love with the nutcracker. I was falling hard for an animated children's toy. My heart felt heavy because I could deny the truth to everyone, but myself. I thought I loved Adam, but Adam never made me feel the ethereal happiness NC did. NC made me happy, while Adam had just been a fantasy that ended in me being sad. I was in love with Prince Eric, me an outcast ballerina who was too cowardly to stick to her dreams. Major Mint suddenly snatched me out of my thoughts. "The weather's getting worse. I say we turn about." I was about to agree before Marzipan sniffed and gestured in front of her. "Wait!" I said knowing what I had to do. "It's too dangerous!" He rebutted. "There's been no sign of this mysterious island, not to mention what's going to happen when this ice starts to melt." Ignoring him and swallowing my heart I go out of the carriage. "Marzipan saw something," I said walking out into the ominous fog. "I'm sure of it." NC had got out as soon as I exited and trailed behind me. I took a deep breath and kept walking. I had to think about the kingdom, not my selfish wishes. It's what a Princess would do. That's what I'd be if me and Prince Eric… Shaking away my thoughts I focused on my steps. I could fall in this fog right through the ice and never be found again. Yet I was concerned about love.

As we walked on NC and we stared at the beautiful island before us. It had to be the closest thing a person could get, to heaven on Earth. I won't dare describe the scene for you. It would insult its memory. Major Mint's voice then cut through our daydreams. "No time to enjoy the scenery!" He said once again intent on leading. "Let's find this Princess." Captain Candy stopped him suddenly. "I believe the Nutcracker has earned the right to lead us," he said firmly. "But...but-but, he's wood!" He said pathetically. As soon as he said that I charged for him. It was luck that NC managed to swing me around. "What? You got a problem with that?" I snarled. "I'll resolve that problem! Trust me! _I will_ resolve that problem," I threatened. "Clara," NC said, holding me fast as I squirmed. "No. No." I said chuckling darkly in an unhumorous way. "And the reason we've made it this far," Captain Candy said eloquently interjecting. "I'm only half the reason," he said releasing me, and beckoning for us to go to the front. I smiled despite myself as I felt my heart flutter and walked beside him. "Handing the reigns to a-a…a stump? I've never heard of such a thing." the Major said, lingering behind. NC's firm hand behind my back pushed me along. "You have now," I said smiling.

We walked on, but every step made me feel like a part of me was being ripped away. "Hey NC," I said casually. "Yes?" he asked. "Why do you put up with me?" He smiled at me as though it was a silly question. "It's rather the opposite I believe. You're honest and express your opinions through your actions. That's what makes you a bit…irate." "Irate?" I said snorting. "You mean psycho? I'm barely a lady!" He stopped me and looked me firmly in the eyes. "You are a lady, and much more…" With that we trudged on. Another rock smacked me in my face. I wasn't _falling_ in love with NC, I _was_ in love with NC. I felt like my body was losing its ability to hold me up. We walked through the forest, in it were strangely shaped trees with circular fruits. I vaguely wondered why there were no fairies about. The path was pink, startlingly so, and when we reached the castle I knew why. The entire thing was extremely pink. Frighteningly so, and it was glistening, and beautiful. No doubt the Sugar Plum Princess' abode. NC was elated, I could see it on his face, and he didn't notice as I began to drop back. It hurt to walk. I couldn't…I… My hand held my heart locket, struggling to keep my own heart in my chest as I looked around sadly. The only man who would think of me as a lady. The only man who would think of me as beautiful. "Are you coming?" He asked seeing I was not next to him. "Oh," I said distractedly. "Yes." He continued on, me walking very slowly behind him. I had to stop again. I didn't have to do anything, I didn't. But I had responsibilities, I had to be practical, I had to be… "Clara?" He called again. I sighed and moved forward.

Captain Candy and Major Mint were speeding toward the palace. All three men went to the doors. I saw that they opened of their own volition, but my feet refused to move as I watched them enter. Suddenly the entire palace fell down. I stepped back shocked! It was a trap! Inside a cage airborne by bats Captain, Major, and Nutcracker tugged at the metal bars. "A damn trap!" I growled. "Good job mates!" the stupid bat said. "Off to the palace." "NO!" I yelled as they flew away. I ran into the trees before the bat could find me. "Wait a minute," I heard him say. "Where's the girl!" I held my breath. "Don't matter, no way off this island…unless she's part mermaid." I desperately wished I was. Returning to Marzipan, I saw that the river was once again unfrozen. I detached the horse to graze and I sat defeated on the grass. It sucked to be unhappy in such a beautiful place. " I knew I shouldn't have come…" I mused aloud. "What was I thinking? That I was going to find a magical princess?" I held my head in my hands. "Now I'm stuck on some God forsaken island alone with nothing but a horse." I turned to her. "No offense Marzipan." She didn't really notice. My shoulders shlumped.

I didn't know where I was or how to get back. I didn't know where the mouse king's palace was, and I certainly didn't know how to get off this dumb island. "All this," I said annoyed. "Because I wasn't selfish enough to let NC miss that dumb Princess." I looked at the sky. How dare it be such a damn well pleasant blue! I could die alone here, or…I touched my locket. "I could…always go home," I said silently. "Could claim to be Thumbelina's new age cousin. Hit the road as a major attraction. Get filthy stinkin rich and Lord knows clothes would be more affordable." And I'd never see Nutcracker again. He along with everyone in this world would be dead. I thought of Captain Candy and Major Mint. I thought of the snow fairies and the flower fairies. I thought of the kids I had named Pepper and Ginger. And then I thought of Prince Eric. "No…" I said determined. "What am I saying? I can't leave. I'm their only hope." The weight of the sentence spoke of its truth. I was the only hope for this entire world. "Shit," I cursed, getting up. "If I could just get off this island."

Suddenly I heard a tingle in my ear. Turning I was shocked to see the flower fairy child! "Brunette!" said smiling. "Hello!" She looked at me as mischievously as when she plotted the "beautiful" thing and beckoned me to follow her. She spoke, but I couldn't understand her. I followed her until out of the sky the fairies brought out a vine covered in flowers. In each flower a fairy hold it up. It was shaped like a swing…for carrying someone. Carried over open water with nothing but tiny fairies holding you. "Are you sure about this?" I asked as she presented the seat to me. She pretended to sit down and nodded comfortingly. Breathing heavily I sat down, my eyebrow furrowed tightly in stress. This is why people complain about the things they do for love. "Okay then, lets.." They lifted me up high and I rocked back. "GOoooWAH!" I said as I felt the freeness of my position. "Oh God, Oh God, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die…" I whispered, my eyes closed. I heard a lot of tinkling near my ear, but I kept reciting my mantra. Finally I felt an eye forcibly pried open by a pair of little hands. Opening my eyes I saw myself passing the beautiful scenery. "Wow…" I said in wonder. "This is amazing." I passed the ocean and a lot of rock. On the horizon I saw an ominous looking castle on a hill. Guess they were dropping me straight there. I was the last chance for them too. "I won't fail you," I said boldly. They chirped in response. Gently, they lowered me on the floor of a tower. I was concealed and out of site. Looking in briefly I turned back to them. "Thank you," I said, my heart overflowing with love and gratitude. They answered back and I walked inside.

I held my back against the wall, straining to remember every James Bond movie I had ever seen. Seeing the guards pass right by me, I saw my movie training had been enough. When one needs to find evil, you follow the henchmen. Slowly I inched my way after them. Somehow getting out of the tower, I walked through a series of doors till I reached a balcony overlooking the courtyard. In the center they were building a large bonfire, stocking it with enough wood to burn for days. "Bitches," I growled under my breath. "MORE WOOD!" I heard the mouse king yell. "I want this to be an unforgettable show!" He suddenly turned in my direction. Diving down I crept towards a wooden door. Hm, it looked ominous. Opening it I saw it lead down and had no light. "Long winding staircase. Jackpot," I said smirking and closing the door. It took forever to get there. I estimated I was underground by now. A soft glowing light was just around the corner. I walked on and was startled immediately. Two big heavily armed mice were standing guard and currently had seen me. "Oh," I said with a regal British accent as though they were beneath me. "There you idiots are. His Royal Evilness the Mouse King needs you in the courtyard." They didn't look convinced. "Why are you a girl in a dress?" One growled at me. I rolled my eyes. "How else would we have trapped the prisoners? I was turned into a mirror image of one of them. I won't be changed back until they're executed." I sighed, "You'd better hurry," I said annoyed. "He said if you don't you'll spend the rest of your lives as dog doo…" They didn't move. "…or…was it horse poo?" They nearly toppled me over in an attempt to pass me. I sighed in relief as I heard them fade in the distance.

"Too easy," I used happily. "And look, they left the keys on the hook next to the dungeon. Convenient aren't ya rat boy, " I said going through one set key. The other key opened the vast door. I pushed it in excitement, but then saw the room was empty. All around was an empty dark stone dungeon. Crestfallen and frustrated I began to walk out. "Clara," NC whispered. I stopped, not knowing why and turned around again. My heart was beating fast. Why? "What's wrong with the girl?" the Major said. "We can see her, but she can't see us," he said, hands on the wall. "Oh hear us apparently," Captain Candy said. I looked around, my heart beating faster. "Why would the mouse king post guards on an empty room?" I asked hoping for an answer. I heard none. My heart began to race. I stuck my hand out and walked farther into the room. "Clara," he said to me. Somehow, though it was not words, I heard him. Touching the invisible wall, I smiled. Getting the torch on the side of the door I pulled it out and got in batting formation. "Back up!" I yelled. With all my strength I knocked the torch right into the door. The wall smashed and instantly I saw the Captain, Major, and NC. I jumped into his arms, holding him tightly to me. He held me back before we scrambled away from each other. "Right…"I said blushing with every bone in my body. "Yeah," he said instantly. "We've got to get out of here," I said firmly. "The mouse kings' building a bonfire!" "I don't think its to warm up the palace," NC said bitterly. "Ya think?" I said leading them out.

They followed closely behind me and we watched in horror as the mouse king forcibly gathered all the villagers in a corner. "Sugar Plum Princess or no Sugar Plum Princess, that Rat's got to be stopped!" "Now you're speakin my language," I said cracking my knuckles. "You handle Ratboy, I'll handle interference." NC climbed up on it, and daringly stood on it. "Is this any way to run a kingdom mouse?" he asked him angrily. "Ahh," he said seething evilly. "You're just in time for your party." With his wand he lit the bonfire. It burned and flickered with evil intent. Not caring about the men beside me I tore my dress above my knees and worked the excess into strips… The military men gasped, but I ignored them, wrapping the material around my feet.

Time to go kickboxing. NC jumped down, taking out two mice and catching one's sword. "There's more to being a king than having a crown," he said, his sword pointed at him. "Ho ho," the mouse king laughed mockingly. "Suddenly you're an expert?" NC looked nervous for a minute but then gestured towards his people. "You'll never earn their loyalty until you earn their respect." The mouse king sneered. "I don't need their loyalty. I don't even need them." My eyes widened. Where was he going with this? "Those peasants who do challenge me, living statuary be!" "NO!" I yelled jumping down. NC was shocked to see his people as living stone. I landed on the court and had done nothing but alert the enemy of my presence. He swung his sword at the mouse king and he parried. Meanwhile I faced the soldiers that were trying to get in the way. I tipped a cart of melons, making a few fall idiotically and knock themselves out. Then I went to work. Grabbing a spear I used it as a pole vault to deliver high kicks and slash a few fur balls. The mouse king turned his scepter into an ax, but NC ducked and hit him from behind. He fell against a cart and then got up quickly. "Scrappy little Nutcracker," He said vehemously. "I'm afraid I underestimated you."

I turned to see what was happening. Most of the mice had fled knowing they awaited punishment for failing to restrain NC. "WITH THE BRAUN OF TWENTY AND SIX I'LL SMITE MY ENEMY INTO STICKS!" Turning I saw that the mouse king had turned himself into a giant. He whacked at NC mercilessly. I winced at the blows he failed to parry. Suddenly he was knocked against the bonfire's edge. His eyes were closed. "NUTCRACKER!" I yelled running over to him. "I'll give you a choice Nutcracker," the mouse king leered swinging his scepter. "Dismemberment or Barbeque." "LIKE HELL!" I yelled standing in front of his tarnished form. "You can try to find self worth by destroying everything, but you'll never be more than the scum you are!" I growled angry I had dropped my spear. "You're nothing but a coward hiding behind a magic wand!" Getting in my face the mouse king tried to intimidate me, but I held my ground. "I obviously didn't shrink you small enough! You're mouth is much too big!" I simply glared at him. I wouldn't move, I wouldn't run. This was me, being Clara. "And that is about to change," he said menacingly lifting his wand. He pointed it at me directly. I snarled in his face. "This is bravery you rat!" Behind me NC began to stir. "TO THE ONE WHO VEXES ME! SMALLER! SMALLER! YOU WILL BE!" he yelled. I saw his scepter charge up and prepared to sacrifice myself. "NOOOOOO!" I heard NC yell behind me. He blocked the ray with the sword he had. Upright he pushed it back. When it reflected, it shoved him to the floor where he hit hard.

The mouse king yelled as his scepter disappeared. He shrunk to the size he should be, as small as a mouse. I felt the overwhelming urge to kill him, but was stopped by a grunt on the floor. "Haha! Back to where he belongs! The sewer!" Major Mint hailed. Damn, I had lost my chance. Holding NC in my arms I saw he was damaged beyond repair. He was mangled, to say the least. He was probably never going to be the same again. "Ha," I said tears gathering in my eyes. "I should have never took you out the box." "Don't worry Clara," he said hoarsely. "…I'm just wood remember?" Two hot tears dropped out of my eyes. "You watch how you're speaking to a lady…" I said before hesitantly kissing him on his lips. "…Prince Eric." My first kiss was with a toy…awkward. Suddenly he was surrounded in light. My eyes widened in horror. "Wait! Are you transcending? Stay for a bit will ya!" To my even more potent horror, I saw that NC was turning back into Prince Eric. He was tall, muscular, and dressed in lovely finery. His eyes were the same deep blue they were when he was a nutcracker, and he had brown hair, with no cow like facial hair. My eyes widened as he looked at me with delight. I nearly fainted. Prince Eric…was sexy, hot, too many words that come to mind. "Oh Jesus I can't deal with this right now," I said running into a corner. "That boy is way too fine. Lord forgive me." I idly wondered if I should look back and see if I had left my underwear. Those tight, tight pants he wore did not help. At all.

"It's Prince Eric!" Captain Candy said in amazement. "The Prince!" Major Mint said smiling then suddenly realizing what that meant. "Ooo…the Prince…ooo," I smiled between my hands, which held my throbbing head. The Major could feel shame after all. Eric got up and walked to me, smiling widely. My hands over my eyes I did nothing but stand really still and hope he wasn't coming for me. "Clara?" he asked happily. Boom goes that theory. I suddenly noticed I too was covered in shimmery light. Turning around I saw that my hair was curling of its own volition and a shiny white and pink gown/tutu was replacing my torn dress. On my feet were pink lacy pointe shoes. It touched everything to make sure it was real. I didn't look real. "Of course!" Eric exclaimed. "The Princess has been with us all along!" "What? Where?" I asked breathlessly. "Clara! It's you! You are the Sugar Plum Princess!" My eyes threatened to well up on me again and so I fought it the only way I knew how, with anger. "What the hell are you saying NC? Me? I couldn't be! I was searching for me! Don't you think me'd know?" I growled. He smiled at me instead and said, "It all makes sense." I began to walk away but he gently pulled me toward him. Yup that was definitely Nutcracker. He was touchy feely like that. "You saved me from the mouse king in your parlor, you rescued us from his dungeon, your bravery led to his defeat, and…your kiss broken his spell."

I was sure I was about to explode from the heat on my face, to the heat my body felt just looking at that man, and he was a man. I broke away from him and he allowed me to do so smirking. "You are the Sugar Plum Princess. Look," he said motioning around him. I did after feeling a crown on the top of my head, plus, I could never actually get these curls in real life. It had to be magic. Turning I saw that wherever my gaze fell, all the mouse king's magic was undone. The villagers unfrozen, the dour gray castle walls bright and cheery again. Pepper and Ginger looked up at me, in wonder. Behind me the bonfire turned into a beautiful fountain wreathed with flowers. "Wow," I whispered, before fear went into my eyes. "I…" Seeing my face Eric held my hand. "You've broken all the mouse kings evil enchantments." "But, I can't be the Sugar Plum Princess," I said trying to pull away. "Her understudy maybe, but not her!" Eric held me by my shoulders and smiled kindly to me. "I wasn't just looking for the Sugar Plum Princess, Clara, I was looking for you." I shivered under his gaze and felt myself submitting to this stupid stupid man, whom I loved. "I don't care about what anyone says," he said stroking my cheek. "You deserve to be the Sugar Plum Princess." He smiled at me. "Don't be afraid. I'll stay by you always. Which is hard to do when you keep running. So, no more running away ok?" I laughed and nodded. "And now you're free to take your rightful place as king." He looked down for a moment. "Well that's for the people to decide." "THREE CHEERS FOR PRINCE ERIC!" Captain Candy yelled. "HIP HIP HOORAY!" The people yelled. Over the cheers I whispered in his ear. "Well I guess their mind is made up. Overjoyed I flicked at NC's head. "Still as hard as ever my nutcracker." He laughed and we went into the place of honor.

The fairies dropped flowers in the sky and the musicians played music loudly. I knew all the tunes. I watched in wonder as Pepper and Ginger did adorable leaps and arabesques. I watched in shock as Captain Candy and Major Mint took the floor for…oh no. The RUSSIAN DANCE! They were amazing and completely synchronized. For what Major Mint lacked in brains, he made up for with the lightness of his feet and his overall performance. You had to love it. He preformed some military moves before allowing Captain Candy to take the floor. He astounded us with a series of difficult jumps performed like they were commonplace steps. Me and Eric laughed at his comical nature before they joined together at the end. "OH NO!" I yelled in delight. "He's break dancing! I need to find the fan-club sign in sheet!" Sure enough Captain Candy was threading. They were perfect…until the collision. Right into each other, Bam! I wasn't sure whether to laugh, or clap. I did both. The crowd agreed, applauding loudly as they bowed. They stood up unhurt and cleared the floor. I suddenly felt a chill of trepidation. Everyone had danced…but us. Eric extended his hand out to me. "The only dance left is…" "The Pas de Duex," he said warmly. "I know." "I can't…" "Do you trust me?" he interjected smiling at me warmly. My heart racing, I grabbed onto his hand and let him lead me to the floor. More flowers fell as we walked on. "Hey Eric," I asked before relaxing my grip. "How old are you?" He smiled. "Twenty-one." Hello, I thought. Should've seen that coming. I let go of his hand and got into position opposite of him.

Expecting to be rusty I was surprised when I easily rose to my toes. A harp sounded, starting the music. I made two steps and began my boureé. I made a complete turn with it and saw that Eric was walking in fifth position and then knelt for the first support. I ignored the pain I felt remembering Adam's rejection. Eric was not Adam, and he was about to prove it to me. Taking his hands Ilowered my body into an unsure penché. Gently pulling me down he extended me fully and looked me in the eyes. I could tell what he was saying. You can trust me. I will support you fully. He stood up with me and turned me half way into another penché, face first before turning me twice and ending me in a side arabesque. I wanted to kiss him. Nothing mattered at that moment, but Eric. Never had I ever been so fully supported by a male dancer in my life. I guess I did need a man to support me. I knew I looked beautiful in his arms. Releasing me he stepped back and allowed me to boureé away from him before coming after me and grabbing my hand. This had to be the best promenade I had ever done. He turned me again in a 90 degreed arabesque, and I then spun me in fouetté before dropping me low on his right side. I fell obligingly, completely to his mercy. Then extended for a quick extend to the front to prepare for a simple arabesque. He left me in preparation position before doing a quick petit allegro than doing a temp de poisson, which in reality is like a really cool backwards scissor kick. His moves were smooth, like oil, and he was looking straight at me, smiling. I could do nothing to stifle the silly grin my face wore. Coyly I boureé-d over and copied his jump and he did it again to face me. I did a grand jeté and he lifted me, bring me higher and higher.

I loved him.

I loved him with all my soul and I prayed he knew it. He lifted me till the end of the courtyard. In our own world we danced around the fountain. He spun me in fouettés by my waist and I reached as farther than as I ever could for every move. It sometimes hurt, but the sense of magical euphoria I felt dulled it away. We arabesqued away from each other, matching the music each time. The music had gotten dramatic. The land was brightening as we danced. I could feel all the mouse king's evil breaking. All under the jurisdiction of our love. Jumping into up high in the air he grabbed me and with his arms he dropped me into an awe-inspiring présage. A fish dive, right over his powerful shoulder. I could have cried. He turned with me once and let me land on my left toe, before holding me in a complete vertical split. I stretched it for him. We separated, for the last most powerful lift. With all abandonment, I matched his arms in fifth position and ran on boureé to him. He lifted me high on his shoulder, my left leg bent underneath me, my right turning with his hand, my arms above me in fifth position. It smiled wider than I ever thought possible. I was the Sugar Plum Princess. His Sugar Plum Princess. He gently lowered me, into another arabesque. I laid my head on his shoulder and let my foot rise up. I extended my hands proudly to the sky, knowing he stood behind me. Literally.

He came from behind me and offered me his hand. I instantly took it smiling happily. He walked me in a circle to my original spot and I did elegant boureé turns before turning into him. We walked and I turned with each step. The music was about to reach its climax. My last extension was the highest one and from that I used it to propel me faster in the turns. Stalling an arabesque, he walked around me, showcasing me in every way. The pirouettes seemed endless. My foot tapped down behind me and I boureé-d away from him again, my arms extending to the floor in a tendu. He stood behind me. It was time. With a deep bend of preparation I shot for it. He supported my spins. I shot for the air with my left foot. Almost a line. Wow. We turned out from each other and then stepped in to face one another our arms up, faces close, and held each other for the last magical moment of our dance. I was snapped back to reality when I heard the cheering from the crowd. Despite my embarrassment I could not bring myself to let go if his hand. Two flower fairies dropped a bouquet of roses into my hands. I took it and smiled even wider if possible. Those mischievous little imps!

"Thank you friends," Eric said quieting the crowd. "As your King, I will let the wise leadership of my father be my guide." They erupted in cheers and he waved at them enthusiastically before turning back to me. "None of this would have been possible without you Clara," he said smiling way to sexily for me. "Will you stay? And be my Queen?" Suddenly it was pin quiet. Damn. "Hey, why'd you stop cheering?" I said nervously trying to by myself some time. "Don't mind us. We're just…" Eric turned me back toward him. Smirking he tilted his head. Too cute. The bastard must have been a stud as a teenager. I fiddled with my hair and suddenly pointed up at the clear blue sky. "Hey, it looks like rain. Everybody inside!" I said talking a step. "Clara!" he said laughing and holding my hands. I sighed resigned. "Ok you Nut, I'm only saying this once so listen well." I took a deep breath. "This locket was given to me by one of the most important people in my life, Madame Lafayette. She always told me to always follow my heart. It was…supposed to take me home. As crazy as it seems…" I looked up at him and smiled. "And I mean crazy as hell…I think I'm already there." Bending down he kissed me on my lips. They were soft, not at all like when he was a Nutcracker. And they were hot. The crowd ooh-ed in audacity, but when he released me, I was sure I was going to die of embarrassment. They cheered for us and looking in Eric's eyes, I knew I had made the right choice.

Suddenly I heard a sharp shriek. "I ABSOLUTELY DESPISE HAPPY ENDINGS!" Turning I saw the mouse king was flying on top of his bat Pim. He was dive-bombing, straight at me. Covering my face for impact I was shocked when he instead grabbed my locket. "NO!" Eric and I yelled, but it was too late, he opened the locket. With a crazy laugh he dangled my locket like a war prize. "He's not gonna get away with that!" Pepper yelled. Snow fairies promptly made her a snowball. With precision, she struck Pim, and they began hurtling toward the ground. "PIM! FLAP! FLAP YOU FOOL!" he yelled. I felt the magic working and felt no justification in his end. "Clara!" Eric tried to touch me, and ran a hand right through me. "NO!" I tried to touch him, but I couldn't feel him. The world was getting fuzzy. "Eric," I breathed. "I…" I could say no more. I sadly reached for him, one last time. "CLARA!" His eyes were desperate and heart broken. I disappeared into thin air barely hearing Eric say. "I love you." I felt tears gather in my eyes, but could do nothing but close them and awaited my fate.


	5. Chap 5: Fate can make you rise and fall

"Clara and the Nutcracker"

Chapter 5

I woke up startled by the clock's alarm.

I pulled out its cord and sat up. I was in my house on the couch. It was daytime.

"Nutcracker?" I called. I looked around, but even my toy was not there. Looking myself over I saw I was wearing an untarnished version of my nightgown. The only difference was I was wearing my ballet shoes. "NC?" I yelled. "ERIC! NUTCRACKER!" My own voice echoed emptily to me. Sitting on the couch I shivered, suddenly feeling cold. "What's all the ruckus?" Grandfather Drosselmeyer asked rushing in. "Grandfather Drosselmeyer," I said running to him. "It's Stanley Clara." He corrected me. "I legally changed it." "Grandfather Drosselmeyer," I said again. "Have you seen my nutcracker?" Before he could answer Aunt Elizabeth rushed in with an elated look on her face. "CLARA YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHAT?" "What?" I said, feeling hopeful. "Your teacher just called! Murielle suddenly fell ill during the first act. She can't dance for the show. They need you to be the Sugar Plum Princess!" I felt empty. "What?" I asked dumbly. "Don't be common," she huffed, pulling me toward the door.

"You have to get there in an hour before Act one ends! MOVE!" "I don't have my gear!" I yelled as she shoved me into the car. "You've got your shoes on! Mistress Aigre said she'd take care of everything else! Let's go!" Grandfather was delegated to the passenger seat and Tommy and me held on for our dear lives as Auntie burnt up the road. Never give a crazy a Cadillac. My mind flashed to a memory. 'Never trust a headcase!' I had yelled it at Eric. My heart felt heavy. Now I was the damned Sugar Plum Princess?

Practically driving on her front tires, Auntie jumped out of the car and pulled me backstage. We were out of breath by the time we reached there. "Clara's dancing already," I said breathlessly looking for Mistress Aigre. That meant we were going to be strapped for time. Had Murielle recovered? Seeing Aigre hunched over and cursing in the corner I walked to her and tapped her lightly. "Maam?" I asked surprised.

Her head shot up in astonishment. "You're here!" Grabbing me firmly she pulled me to the left, bruising me with her talons. "What's going on?" I cried, ducking around people as she bulldozed her way through. "We've started the show!" she yelled angrily. "Did Murielle recover?" "No," she snapped automatically. " We thought you weren't coming so we were going to start the ballet sections and skip the Sugar Plum Princess pas de deux." I stared at her like she was insane. "Skip it? That's the reason they're all here!" She stopped before a door and looked at me with disdain. "Don't remind me." Opening the door I saw my peers lacing up and stretching. They all breathed sighs of relief and began talking rapidly when I arrived. Some looked unhappy. "Where were you!" Adam yelled, getting close to my face.

"Dunno," I said icily. "Maybe in traffic? An hour is not enough notice to drive to another city." He growled at me and pointed at Murielle. She was sitting in a corner with a girl rubbing her back looking purple. "_That _girl over there stopped eating last week like an idiot to make herself lighter for our lifts. Now she can't even stand!" I folded my arms and smirked. "And now you need me to save the day?" He glared at me but softly said, "We don't dance until the end of Act Two. That gives you ample time to stretch, but no time for us to practice." "Well?" Mistress Aigre said impatiently. "You've been dying for it, get on with it!" I furrowed my eyebrows. Did they really treat me this way? Did my sarcasm block all this out? "I don't like your tone," I said calmly. "If your going to be rude, I'm going to leave." To my surprise a chorus of no's followed my turning back. And here I thought I was replaceable. Adam and Aigre looked at me in disbelief, their mouths both thin lines. She sighed and reluctantly said, "Sorry. It's the nerves."

"That's ok," I said smiling genuinely at her. She looked like she had seen a ghost. I hadn't smiled at her since day one. Adam took a deep breath and turned his sea green eyes on me, holding my hands. "Please," he said softly and what I guessed was meant to be seductively. "We need you. I need you. Will you be dance as our Princess? For me?" I smiled at him and took my hands back. "I will dance as the Sugar Plum Princess," I said confidently. "But not for you. I'll dance as her because that's who I am." Turning I began to walk away before I heard an astonished Adam ask, "Who are you?" I thought of how interestingly they reacted when I reacted with kindness instead of anger. I smiled brightly and addressed them all. "I'm a lady…" they sat stunned as I opened the door. "…and a princess."

Filled with pride I walked toward the costume closet and was seized by a little girl who looked surprisingly like Pepper. She smiled widely at me and handed me to an older woman with too much makeup on. "Darling," she said grinning. "I don't have the Sugar Plum dress prepared for your fitting, but I have a blue and purple princess dress that we can modify in a short amount of time." "How short?" I asked trying hard to stay strong. The dress was beautiful, more so than the original one for Murielle, but could never compare to the dress I wore when I danced with Eric. She shrugged. "If we sow it with you in it, we would be quicker." I nodded and said, "Very well. I'll be back in 20 minutes." She blinked. "If we sow you in it, you won't have time to warm up!" I smiled warmly at her.

"It's okay. I don't need to." I never recalled warming up with Eric. We just danced, no, more than danced. We just spirited in and out of each other's souls. Running to makeup I plopped myself into the first available chair there. The stylist looked shocked seeing that I had chosen her chair. "I need to be done up as the Sugar Plum Princess in 20 minutes. I know the request is unfair, but I'm a little tight on time. She looked at me like I was insane. "I'm a trainee," she said nervously. "You should probably go to one of the others." Turning my head, I saw them looking at me expectantly. One of the other guys looked impatient as he beckoned me over. "Hurry darling, we've got to do you up like that other girl." Smiling I turned back to the trainee. "That's ok. Are you sure you know what to do?" Shocked still she nodded her head. "Then make me a princess…in 19 minutes, and make it me." Rushing around she assembled an assortment of ribbons and make-ups. "Patty can you come here?" she yelled. The little girl who looked exactly like Pepper walked up to me shyly. "Can you do her makeup?" she asked, furiously brushing my hair. "Can she?" I asked amused. "She doesn't even look old enough to wear makeup." Patty smiled but said nothing. "She's a child prodigy," the trainee said spraying my hair before grabbing a handful of curlers. "Ok," I said closing my eyes. "Go for it."

I was afraid to keep my eyes closed because I saw Eric everytime. As both NC and Prince Eric. He was holding me, lifting me. In my head I slowly and reluctantly changed him to Adam. I would have to do this move instead because Adam wasn't strong enough here. I had to stretch well there, but give less here. Slowly as I was being transformed I stretched my body in my mind. "Done," I heard suddenly. I watched the clock. Twenty two minutes, not bad. "Thanks," I said walking away. "Wait! Don't you want to see it?" the trainee asked surprised. I stopped for a moment. "Nah. I trust you." Then I began walking again.

"WAIT!" I heard a girl yell. Turning I saw Pepper running after me with a small mirror. "Please look. We want to know how we did." Smiling obligingly I looked into it, and nearly dropped it. This beautiful girl in front of me couldn't be me. Touching my face I watched astonished as my hand appeared in the mirror. It really was me. Smiling sadly I handed it to her. "Thank you. So much." She nodded like she understood and ran away. I suppose this is what Eric had seen in me from day one. I was a princess through and through. Walking into the room I saw that the seams of the dress had been readjusted and the dress shortened. "Just need to sew ya in," the lady said excitedly. I promptly undressed and stood in the dress. "We're on the mouse king scene," a person said opening the door. "Thanks," I mumbled closing my eyes. I envisioned myself in the dress dancing with another man. No…boy. Eric had been right as usual.

"Done, whew," I heard her say. I sighed. It was crazed how time flew when you were stalling. Looking in the mirror I was shocked at how pretty I looked. Murielle probably would have had a cow. The dress was a shimmery green, blue, and pink that was arranged like a flower petal. "Now just change into these," she said handing me blue pointe shoes. I smiled. "No thanks. I'll stick to these." I would not take off my pink pointe shoes. She frowned for a moment before pushing me off. "Well…it sort of matches. Hurry, you have 5 minutes till curtain." Walking calmly to the back curtain I saw Adam stretching morosely. "Adam," I said ignoring the shocked stares from those around him. Not looking up her replied, "We should modify turn 3 and make get rid of the last lift." I laughed. "We're not modifying anything." Angrily he turned around before looking at me in shock. "Well…" he said, unable to say anything else. The orchestra was cuing again. I took my spot and watched in amusement as the others gasped around me. "Let's get into position people," I said gently. Surprisingly they all obeyed. Then the curtains lifted. I was sure I looked ethereal and beautiful as I sat on my silver, or in real life, silver glitter throne. Adam stood next to our Clara and occasionally glanced at me.

The dances past by too slowly till finally it was time for us to dance. I walked slowly to center stage and let Adam lead me there. Taking a deep breath I closed my eyes. "What are you doing?" I heard a harsh whisper ask. I ignored it as the music started. I was on pointe. In my head I imagined that Eric was next to me. I took Eric's hand and we did my first set of fouetté. Opening my eyes I performed the moves with all my soul. Wishing desperately that somehow Eric would hear my silent pleas, that Madame Lafayette would give me my fairytale. Adam was shocked at me as I daringly without fear depended on him. He was rough still, but I made sure I looked beautiful. I extended farther than I ever dared to go before and on the first lift I left my life to fate. Fate got it right that time.

Every pore in my body breathed Eric and I saw the audience was captivated by my performance. On the last lift I saw Adam going in for the modified lift. Trusting my instincts I passed right by him and did an extremely high grand jeté. If he was going to half-ass it, I was going to shine without him. Then I did boureé turns back to him. His mouth open, he put me in the last few positions and then we finally faced each other. I was shocked to see admiration in his eyes. The crowd stood up in an uproar and flowers were thrown at our feet. Then the curtain fell. We erupted in cheers and screams for our triumph. I received many pats on the back and compliments that I accepted humbly. Mistress Aigre stopped me for a moment and genuinely smiled. "I was wrong. You deserved to be the Sugar Plum Princess." I beamed at her and walked on. Suddenly I felt a person hold my shoulder. Turning I saw Adam smiling at me. "You were amazing. Inspiring actually," he said grinning. "Sorry about that last lift. I won't do that next time." I laughed. "What makes you think they'll be a next time?" I began walking away and he stopped me again. "What do you mean? Murielle can't possibly top you." I frowned. "I thought she was easier to dance with." He shook his head bashfully. "No, you were so easy to lift today it was crazy. Did you lose weight or something?" I smiled politely and shook my head no. "Well anyway, you were great. Spell-binding. Me and some of the troupe are going to celebrate. You wanna come with me?" I lifted a brow. "Like a date?" He shot me what I would have thought a sexy smile. "Yeah, why not."

I laughed.

"No thank you Adam. Have a Merry Christmas." I left him utterly stunned. Adam was a nice boy, but compared to Eric that's all he was. The seamstress stopped me as I went to pull off my tutu. "It's yours," she said brightly. "It's custom fit, and I wanna say I designed a tutu for you one day." I laughed and thanked her. Lacking the energy to change I grabbed my things and walked out the door. I was immediately hugged by my aunt and congratulated by a bunch of people. "You were amazing!" she yelled hugging me tight. Tommy handed me a bouquet of flowers. "You were pretty cool sis." I smiled wider. "Thanks Tommy." Grandfather turned to me and smiled widely. I could have had a stroke. "That was superb. I'm very proud of you." My heart swelled, then burst again when I realized I had everything, but Eric. Fans gave me roses and I thanked them gratefully. Before long I had an extremely large bouquet. Grabbing two roses as we walked out, I handed one to a little girl I saw walking on the street. She stared at me in wonder. "Are you a Princess?" I smiled and patted her on the head. "Yes." Jumping in the car, I smelt the other rose.

Everyone in the car, I rolled down the window.

Giving it a long kiss I flung it out into the snowy abyss, saying a final goodbye.

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A warm thanks to Kisama. I just want to say that based on my hits a lot of people read this story and I am very thankful. I must say though that that I would be very appreciative if more people reviewed. Based on the ending I intend to have a sequel and I really want the advice or comments of the reader to motivate me. Thank you!


	6. Chapter 6: Moving on

Clara and The Nutcracker:

(This Clara and all non-Barbie related characters belong to Tudedeluxe. Prince Eric, Major Mint, Captain Candy, and Marizpan are all the creations of Barbie Corp)

An apology to all my reviewers who I abruptly cut off in my hiatus. I apologize and promise somewhat instant gratification before the end of the year.

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Chapter 6: Moving On

It had been a long time since I had last seen Eric. Since then a lot of things had changed. I decided that even if I was structurally a good classical ballerina it would be foolish to ignore a chance to study in Europe. Their official location was London, the location of my house, but the school was known for traveling to Italy, France, Greece, China, and even my home New York with their students. With Aunt Drosselmeyer, Grandfather Drosselmeyer, and Tommy's help I refurnished my little gray bricked house and stocked it full of supplies. Being the worrisome little mother hen he was, Grandfather told the school exactly what my circumstances were so they could make sure to keep an eye on me. The agreement was I was to report to the studio everyday twice a day in the morning from 7-12 pm and late afternoon from 6-10 pm. If I missed a session they would call my house. If I knew I was going to miss, I had to call. In this way if I mysteriously disappeared, they would know the day of.

I kissed my sad family goodbye and promised to call often. I took with me new shoes, tutus, my old shoes, and Madam Lafayette's ballerina. My sudden withdrawal from the school caused a bit of an uproar. They had been planning to do Swan Lake and were going to need a strong female ballerina to play Odette and Odile. I thanked them graciously, but I knew I had to move on. Besides, I had already found my Prince. The thought of Eric was painful to me. I would never see him again. So in order to cope I pushed myself into my studies and aimed to be the best I could be. He would want that. I wanted the same for his kingdom. I wore my new shoes and left my old ones in their box.

I began my training at the end of August. It was an intensive program that at first startled my underworked bones. To my surprise we went over the basics more than I had anticipated for a modern ballet school. My instructor, a swan like male who was called Instructor Serge, had a cane just like Madame Lafayette. He was my first male teacher. He did not lean on it; instead he always had it slightly above the ground, casually making tiny circles above the floor. The perfect windup for the perfect swing, and swing he did. To my horror I noticed I was one of the youngest students in his class. Me, a French boy named Alexander, and a Russian girl named Sasha. In addition he had a fondness for striking at the back of my shins. They were never full out swings, but they were abrupt little taps that sported for minutes after and drove me mad. "Your fifth position isn't straight enough!" "Your pirouettes need to be tighter!"

"Higher," he would shout, standing in front of the class. I lost count of how many petit jeté's we had done. I thought that any moment I was going to land wrong and collapse. "More!" he demanded. He never specified exactly what more consisted of but Serge was a selfish man, he always wanted more. I noticed with anxiousness that most of the female ballerinas were more chiseled and graceful than I was. Most of them did not have traditional shapes, but they were efficient with clean beautiful lines. No matter how hard I tried I could never recapture the same perfection I had those times I had pas de duex-ed with Adam and Eric. So I worked hard instead. On occasion I would spend the afternoons with tall gentlemanly Alexander and vibrant spitfire Sasha before we went to class. Alexander had short ruffled jet black hair and bright green eyes. He had a thick accent, but his English was very good and clear. Sasha on the other hand would break out into angry Russian from time to time and then struggle with her translation of it. She had long wavy red hair that put my shoulder-length hair to shame. At least it would have in the past.

They each had a story to tell. Alexander's parents had forced classical ballet on him since he was a child and he had almost dropped ballet all together. Then one day at a classical show that opened with a modern act, he realized he had a passion for modern. His parents after much debate decided to give him what he wanted. Sasha on the other hand had to fight her parents. They believed she could never become a professional ballet dancer due to her petite size. She would run and look inside ballet class windows and mimicked the dancers inside. One day she got caught. Surprisingly the woman had known since day one and had decided to let Sasha join the class provided she cleaned the classroom at the beginning and end of each class. She was also to repair any torn shoes or costumes the girls had for her. As she grew older, she became better at all of her duties including her dancing, and began saving up for a trip to the London school. After three calls, they gave her an audition date. She received a full scholarship.

I noticed as the long months went by that his work never became easier, but I became better at it. My figure was becoming even more refined. My hips were less rounded now, my butt had firmed and I grew in flexibility. Modern dancers had far more drastic poses than a traditional dancer. I was getting to be more graceful; my legs had become muscular and strong. I barely noticed when I was on pointe. On the bad side I knew that in a matter of months I would probably never be able to wear flip flops again. My feet were callused and hard as rocks. My toes were trimmed and polished, but my feet still were scarred with cuts and bruises from a lot of the tougher work we had done. My new ballet shoes were more worn than my old ones.

About 4 months into the program I was near the top of the class with Alexander. Sasha was near the upper middle. It was at this time in November that our instructor decided to switch gears. In the morning sessions we would continue our solo work, but in the afternoon we would work on our partnering work. During the first month he encouraged us to work with as many people as we could because at the end of the month we would be choosing our partners for the remainder of the year. He told us the female ballerinas were to choose whom they best fit with, and with the ballet dancer's approval they would partner up. I noticed with surprise that I had a lot of male ballet dancers vying for me as their partner. Apparently the top six dancers in our class all partnered with each other as a tradition of sorts. I danced with each male noticing certain flaws and strong points. Despite myself I looked at us in the mirror to see if we looked good together as well. This wasn't always the case.

On the last day Alexander and I decided to dance. I was sure he was going to partner with Sasha as he had done in their program last year. I noticed he was very light on his feet. In addition, despite his slender shape he could lift me in difficult positions with ease. He made the session fun with his silly comments and I noticed he was enjoying himself as well. We made an effortless team, but I knew I could not take him from Sasha. The next day we all lined up in the afternoon in front of Instructor Serge. "Alright," he said, his cane firmly placed in front of him. "I would like you to split up in two lines of gender and face each other. I noticed with a little bit of shock that we were an even number. The class really was exclusive. "Now," he began, walking behind the male line. "I would like…" he put his hand on the guy at the end. "…you. You will choose your dance partner. The males will chose. Hopefully you were all paying attention."

I noticed the varied looks of glee and horror. Mine was of horror. I had hoped to choose a partner who would fit me, and I didn't have the heart to refuse anyone in front of the whole class. That would just be rude. Some of the other females did not have same sentiments as me. The top six ended up together as planned. I watched as the line went down. There were only five females now including Sasha and me. I looked up and saw that Alexander was next. Beside him a stout man gestured to me and smiled. I tried to contain my horror. He was a beast of a man who had brute strength and little delicacy. He could flip you up and swing up by your hair then catch you and set you down like porcelain. I was done for. "Clara," I heard a voice say. Alexander was looking at me smiling. I blinked then looked at Sasha who to my surprise was smirking. He extended a hand out to me and I took it, bustling out of the line with him. He was at least a head taller than me and his black hair veiled his beautiful green eyes. "Why did you choose me?" I whispered to him. "What about Sasha?" Sasha had said flat out no to the next guy and gone with a hunky British boy named Richard. Alexander smiled at me. "This year I believe that you are the better choice. I have grown considerably since last year and do not wish to be smacked by Serge's cane for bending over." I laughed softly. "Hey, whatever floats your boat. I rather like this arrangement." He beamed and his look caught me off guard. "Me too," he whispered, and we began our lessons.

Pas de deux work in itself was hard, but Alexander and me both strived to be the best we could be. We wanted to be number one. We began to knock out the other couples and soon we were at the bottom of the top three. Then came the holidays, which disrupted everything. We would be off from December 22th to January 2nd. Then we would have to come back immediately. On the morning of December 23rd me, Sasha, and Alexander had made arrangements to see "The Nutcracker," I fancied myself as a glutton for punishment. We sat in orchestra seating, courtesy of the school and watched as Clara, received the Nutcracker from her Grandfather. Sasha kept making fun of it under her breath. Alexander was fixated by the plot. It was the only classical ballet he enjoyed. When the nutcracker turned into a man my breath caught. The man looked nothing like Eric but just seeing the scene made tears well in my eyes. I excused myself and ran out the theater.

It was cold and snowing outside, I tried to freeze my heart so I could escape the pain. "Clara!" I heard a man yell. I whipped around and with disappointment saw it was Alexander. "Are you alright Mademoiselle?" he asked me his hand on my shoulder. "Yes" I said forcing a smile. "The Nutcracker is my favorite ballet, but it brings some hard memories with it." "Do you…" "I don't want to talk about it," I said trying to smile gently. He nodded understandingly and held my shoulders. "Are you sure you are alright?" "Yes," I said sniffing and wiping up my eyes. "I'm good now." "Good," he said smiling widely. Then he kissed my forehead. "A girl as beautiful as you should not be crying." I was stunned and just watched him wide-eyed as he went to tell Sasha he was taking me home. When he returned I had convinced myself that it was a friendly gesture. We took the trolley to my house and I invited him in for some hot chocolate. We sat by my tiny fireplace and talked about ballet and our passions and obstacles. Currently he was messing with the objects on my mantle. I realized I had a lot in common with Alexander. He was kind, handsome, and a good dancer. Everything I had wanted until… "Eric?" Alexander asked.

"What?" I declared startled. "It's engraved on this locket on your mantle. I took it from him and stared at the name I had never noticed on the back of it in extremely tiny letters. I had run my fingers over its surface hundreds of times. How had I not noticed? I was too fixated on fingering the letters to notice Alexander hovering above me. "He was important to you?" he more or less stated. I looked up and looked back down, a little upset. "Yes," I said quietly. "Where is he?" he asked me softly. I stopped touching the locket and placed it back on the mantle. "I don't know." Alexander being the gentlemen he was switched the conversation to our vacations. He was going home later tonight. "Maybe you should catch your flight early with me," he said spiritedly. I laughed. "No thank you." He rolled his eyes and folded his arms in a way that made me laugh. "I should be shoving off," he said standing. "Alright," I said smiling. He had made me feel better. "Thank you Alexander." I opened the door for him and turned. I smashed into his lips. I shoved him back like I had been burned by fire and stared at him in horror. He saw my reaction but kept up his eye contact. "I am sorry," he said in hushed tones. "I…I thought…" "Don't think anything," I said shaking my head as I ushered him out the door. "I'll see you after the vacation." He gave me a little smile and walked off into the snow. I locked the door and lay against it, trying to still my traitorous heart. I had enjoyed the kiss, more than he could and would ever know. I hugged my knees and cried.

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About three more chapters till the conclusion^^ Final chapter will be posted on October 31st, aka Halloween.

Thank you:

Reverend Lovejoy (We'll fix those problems soon)

too-lazy-to-sign-in (Sorry for making you suffer)

and last but not least

Kisama (Thank you for your kindness)


	7. Chapter 7: Since you've been gone

Chapter 7:

The next day I took an 11 am flight to New York. I got there around five and waited until I saw my Grandfather and Tommy running toward me. We all collided in a group hug and I noticed Tommy had grown at least a head taller. I had always thought Auntie had said that to up his ego. For the entire car ride we prattled on about what we were doing and when we were going to do it. Aunt Drosselmeyer was at home fancying up the house. I put up Madame Lafayette's ornament on the already decorated tree. Then I stayed up all of Christmas Eve watching the rat hole, waiting for the owl to come alive. Nothing happened. I don't remember much about that Christmas except we went to see my old studio's ballet show which was pretty good. They had done The Nutcracker, but taken out the pas de duex with the Sugar Plum Princess. I was glad.

I went back to school with tearful goodbyes and it was announced that we would be performing a ballet called "The Dawn of Days." It was more or less an original group ballet, but there was a pas de duex for sunrise and sunset. The same couple would be needed to play both parts as well as learn the other parts. It was intensely difficult and challenging, and we both wanted it. Alexander and me never referred to what had happened and our partnership grew stronger and stronger. We finished each other's sentences, ordered food for each other in outside practices, and even stopped apologizing when we had messed up. We just kept going after a while. Sasha was actually dating her partner and was giving me the juicy details at sleepovers in my house. In order to secure our chances we decided that instead of resting in between sessions, we would order our food to the studio and rest for only an hour and a half. The rest of the time was spent practicing. We weren't the only ones' but we were by far the most consistent. At home I had a bar and dance floor installed in the back room. After dinner I would practice my part until I was ready to collapse and then I would sleep. When it was time for auditions there were five couples, including the top 2 and former top 3 dance couples. Me and Alexander went last. We were perfect and I put my soul into the dance. I thought about the character, the tightening and loosening of muscles, execution, spirit. The next day the roles had been cast. Our names stood in dry black ink as the pas de duex couple. He was the Dew and Stars and I was the Sun and Moon. There was a lot of lifting involved as well as fast changes. The performance was in May.

We spent an extra month on just technique, two months learning our parts perfectly, and then we began to crunch it all together. It was a stressful time and Alexander and I were both the opening and closing acts. We were also in three other dances. I was ready to pull my hair out. Alexander stopped me. He was ready to throw a tantrum. I stopped him. We made sure to freak out when the other was calm. In this way we put a trust in each other that was close and intimate. I yearned less for Eric, I was too busy. On the day of open night my entire family was given VIP seating next to Alexander's family. Aunt Drosselmeyer had flown down as well and brought a male friend. I hoped she would find someone to travel with. I bounced on the side line, dusting my shoes for the umpteenth time.

"Nervous?" a voice said behind me. "What makes you say that?" I said turning to Alexander. He was twirling a twizzler in his mouth and leaning against the wall. His costume consisted of a light blue, purple, and green unitard. Being partners meant we were beyond shyness, but the long piece of fabric left very little to the imagination. He wore a lower back length light and dark blue wig. My costume was a blinding orange leotard with splashes of yellow and a short flowy skirt of matching color. My wig was a spiky shoulder-length collection of silvers, oranges, and yellows. He wore foot thongs, but I wore yellow point shoes. "You're bouncing like a jackrabbit," he said smirking. "At least I'm not using comfort food," I said brushing by him. He laughed and followed me. "Why not?" Getting in front of me he pulled out a parcel from behind his back. "Have one, twizzlers always settle me when I'm nervous." I sighed and took one. "If I crash I'm blaming you." "Of course mademoiselle," he said bowing dramatically.

"Places!" A stage crew member yelled. I swallowed the twizzler as he handed the parcel to a nearby dancer. "Are you ready?" he asked me, sounding a bit anxious. "As ready as you," I said smiling. I could feel the tension building in my throat and stomach. Me and Alexander were the only two people on the stage when the curtain first opened. We were in an X formation facing the away from the audience, but I was in front him. If done right I would not be seen. Then I would magically appear as he lifted me up into the sky. Then the dance would begin. My breath caught a little in my throat. I felt him grasp my hand and give it a firm squeeze. "No fear chérie," he whispered into my neck. I squeezed back and then the curtain began to open.

The music snuck in and I became my character. I extended my legs to be a complete X for the lift before he gently let me down. The lift was me in an almost backbend before he put me down on pointe. The story was somewhat a courting of the dew and sun. A lot of our moves were imitation each other and we never touched. We only touched when the passionate Dew grabbed me for a lift. We strode in a circle with pointed feet and bent to wave our arms like we held twirlers. We ran toward the audience and seemingly barely stopped from running off the stage before running back. I did a series of spinning pirouettes with a flamboyant hand on my hip and then lifted my leg straight up in the air while turning. Alexander did jeté's around me. The crowd loved it. Alexander lifted me and threw me in the air and I landed like a diver into his arms. It was exhilarating. It didn't feel like we were dancing anymore, it felt like we were living the experience. I threw myself into the moves and for the first time in months felt alive. I felt my muscles flex in anticipation of the moves. Then for a brief period the music slowed. I boureé-d and fell into his arms to the right and left before bending backwards and going full circle with him supporting me. Then I jumped on to him and held him tightly as he turned me with me on him. I heard the crowd hum and knew we succeeded. Then I was turned completely vertical and he supported my limp body by my left leg leant against his waist. Then the music picked back up and he would pull me in one move back to his waist and we would begin a quick dance of courting. In these moves the sun would accept that it was one with the dew. These moves were wilder and had an African vibe to them. We even did a cartwheel with our hands touching. We jeté-d away from each other and then ended with Alexander supporting my whole body with one hand as I posed in the sky as the sun. Then the lights faded out and all we could hear was cheering.

He gently set me down and we giggled in excitement as we ran off stage to change. "That was amazing!" I whispered as the crew stripped us down and helped us undress. We were faced the opposite way but we had to stay on the sidelines. You couldn't be shy in and production. "You were amazing!" he retorted laughing in happiness. Soon we were changed and ushered into our first dance. We just acted as the company in these dances and had no solos, but that was fine with us. Sasha smacked our butts as we took our places beside her. "Amazing," she said grinning toothily. "Really amazing." "Our dance or our butts?" Alexander said coyly. Sasha smiled as the curtains rose. "A little bit of both." Then we were off acting as the normal village folk of a grassy town. The story would continue to show the towns and villages of the world and how they rise with the sun. There would be in the arctic, in the jungle, in the sea, and in the sky. Each location was a tribe with different people and different dancing styles. Each village had two or one solo dancers. Then at the end right before the finale would be the "We are One," dance where all the tribes would unite to pay homage to the moon spirit. Then me and Alexander would come forth and they would leave. I loved that costume. It consisted of white ribbon that tied around my hips in X's and ended at my ankles. It had a starlight blue triangle bottom that came with a wrap around bra top. They both shimmered in the light. At the top of the bra was blue and white weaving on the right side. My eyes would be adorned with white eyeliner and my face would be painted with white tribal marks. Behind me on my shoulders would rest a dark blue and white cape and on my head and adorned chieftain hat. I'd lose the hat and cape for the dance of course. Alexander had a dark blue unitard that had white gloves and the bottoms of his eyes would be painted white. We looked otherworldly.

As the dances went on I noticed that Alexander kept staring at me and whenever I caught him he would give me this beautiful smile filled with joy. It was then at those moments that I to my horror I found myself wanting to see more of it. It was also in those moments that I forgot more and more how Eric's human face looked. Soon the acts passed by and the last dance, our moon and stars pas de duex arrived. The village people would be dancing a dance of celebration and then Alexander would carry me out on his shoulder. I would sit there proud, with my mystic costume and chieftain hat. The lift was strong as usual, but I sensed a lingering in his movements, as though he wished for me to stay beside him. It frightened me.

I sat on his shoulder and the village people parted and we came through like mythical royalty. They bowed or curtsied to us then danced away. As soon as they were gone I would extend into an X and land on the floor. I did so and crouched in an animalistic position while Alexander turned to look at me with eyes filled with longing. It was part of the act of course, we were supposed to want each other, but I felt my pulse quicken as he ran for me. He grabbed me roughly by my waist and I bend backwards, flopping almost to the floor in a fish dive before he lifted me into an arabesque. He turned me gently on arabesque and then jeté-d high into the air. I followed him, even higher and we began a circle, striding and identically copying each other inside it. We pirouette-d, bouree-d, and penché-d pur butts off before. The dance had more moves that had no real names and were simply dancing. We did these moves with spirit and with a light playfulness that was not solely due to our character personas. Finally the dance was at its end. I made an exaggerated yawn and he lifted me again, proceeding to walk away with me as the sky started to once again lighten. The crowd erupted in cheers as we walked along the sidelines still buzzed with adrenaline. I felt a hand enclose mine and turned to see Alexander at my side once again. "That was…amazing," he exclaimed the lights playing off his face. I pulled my hand back and felt his fingers reluctantly brush away. "Yeah," I agreed. Then we went to curtain call.

We all went out in a line. The ensemble bowed first and then the solo dancers. Alexander and I bowed last and I felt the rumble of the room erupt underneath our feet. It was so powerful it shocked me. Out in the audience I saw my family waving and screaming from their VIP seating. I smiled at them and felt alive. There were times I felt like I was just a shell without Eric. It made me feel stupid and pathetic because I hadn't known him for very long but he had become my world. Roses and bouquets were thrown at our feet. I smiled and picked up a single bouquet and the other dancers took their prizes as well. As soon as the curtain closed I handed the bouquet to a girl from the ensemble who beamed at me brightly. She had no idea that she was doing me a favor. I had no intentions of reliving that last Christmas performance.

I pulled at the ribbons in my hair and suddenly felt frustrated like I needed them to be out right now. I felt my happiness disappear at the thought of Eric and this radical swing in attitude dazed me. As I continued my tirade I saw the other dancers exit the stage to head to their families. I stayed behind trying to fix my makeup station. It's strange how important meaningless things are when you're upset. Suddenly I felt firm hands on my shoulders and knowing who it was I tried to shrug him off. He wrapped his arms around me and I hit him with my fist and turned to tell him off. He cut off my protests by crashing his lips into mine. My mind went blank and I felt shivers run down my body. I could faintly sense myself digging my fingernails into his arms. Then, like I had been underwater, I surfaced and pulled back.

"No!" I snarled backing up. "Why?" he demanded advancing towards me. "Stop it!" I yelled pointing an accusing finger in his direction as my feet scurried back. "Why, because I make you feel something?" he asked advancing until I, stupid me, had backed myself into a corner. He braced his arm above me and leaned to stare into my angry eyes as I stood against the stone wall. "Why chérie?" he whispered. I felt his voice travel down through my bones. "Back off!" I exclaimed tightening my fists. "I swear to God I will find a new dance partner." He was silent for a moment before his voice took on a dangerous tone. "Go on. You will _never_ find a dancer as good as me in that class." I knew it was true and my threats were empty as a result. I sighed and walked to the side angrily. "This is stupid, let's just…" His arm cut me off and he turned me to face him. "Non." I stared at him in horror and seeing my expression he sighed and gave me space.

"Just listen, please," he pleaded. I took a deep breath and crossed my arms. "I know you feel the connection we have off and on the dance floor. We are intimate and daring and we do beautiful things together." He looked exasperated for a moment as though he was unsure of exactly what to say. "What must I say?" he asked me his hands in the air. "I like you. Very much. Tu es magnifique!" I got the gist though I was unsure if he realized he had just lapsed into French. "You are beautiful and funny, and you are very strong," he continued on. He clasped my hands and his eyes pleaded with me to understand. "Don't you see? J'veux etre avec toi." He whispered the words, but I knew for certain they were French this time. "What?" I whispered, overwhelmed. "I want to be with you," he replied softly, his accent stalling his words just enough to make my heart painfully. "I'm taken," I said frowning heavily. Why didn't he just take a sledge hammer to our partnership?

"By whom? This Eric?" he asked me his whole face frowning in disbelief. "When was the last time you spoke with this Eric?" I yanked my hands away and walked away from him. "I have to meet my family," I said my voice sounding hollow to my own ears. He ran after me and positioned himself in front of me. "You don't know the last time you have seen this Eric…" he said passionately. "…but me? Je t'adore! C' est pour toi que je suis! Tu es dans toutes mes pénsees. Je…" "What are you saying?" I interrupted loudly, my head starting to pound. He sighed and started over. "I adore you Clara. Unlike Eric, I am here for you. You are in all my thoughts." He took a strand on my hair and tucked it behind my ear. "And this will not change." I felt warmth spread through me with his touch and the thought of forgetting Eric was so enticing I felt I was going to cry. I suppose he saw my look because he dropped his hand to his side.

"This isn't easy for me," I confessed. It wasn't, at all. "I love him." He was silent then spoke his next words very slowly. "A year. Give him one more year, and if he does not come for you please give me a chance." "You can't ask me that…" I hissed coldly. "I can and I am," he replied as coldly. I waited a beat then looked up into his smoldering eyes. "Please Clara," he breathed. "Please." The longing in his voice and my own longing made me vulnerable. "I won't be an easy fix Alexander," I sighed, the fight out of me. "I'm not in a rush," he replied, his lips quirking into a small smile. Quietly, I answered, "Yes." "A year from the day he disappeared," Alexander clarified, trying not to sound too enthused. I weighed my options then again said, "…yes." Alexander took my hand and kissed it before holding it to escort me back to my family. I noticed Aunt Drosselmeyer looking at him in obvious approval while my Grandfather frowned. They packed me into the car so we could go for dinner. I mimed the actions of a happy family girl, but on the inside I felt a sense of finality. This was it. If by next Christmas Eve Eric was still missing, I would move on. He would be lost to me, forever.


	8. Chapter 8: At last I've reached the end

Chapter 8: At last I've reached the end (pt 1)

Time always moves too quickly when you want to make time last.

I remembered that year, those following months, very briefly. There were sights and smells. Color and touch. A lot of dance related pain, but there was also laughter. So much laughter that I was sure at any moment I would dissolve into a torrent of giggles and exist no more. Alexander and Sasha became very close with me as time went on. As much as I tried to ignore Alexander's feelings I felt myself responding to his soft touch, his warm encouragement, his stolen kisses, if only briefly. He was an amazing man, but he was also real. He could have a terrible temper though it was never directed to the female. He was a lover not a fighter and he had an uncanny ability to make me laugh. The more real he was, the less real Parthenia, Captain Candy, Major Mint, and my dear sweet Eric seemed.

We danced as always. This year it was more company dancing so I was never quite the Sugar Plum Princess. I felt like I had made her disappear, and frankly I was glad. How fun was it to be a princess without a castle or even a prince? As more time passed I realized how irate my decisions concerning Eric were. I was prepared to give up my family, friends, dreams, and entire life for this one guy I had barely even met in human form. For what, love? These questions haunted me as Alexander and Sasha slowly bricked up my reasons for remaining in my world.

When October hit I became nervous. At night I would try to contact him with ESP and hoped, begged him to hear me. My rational was taking over my heart and soon he was becoming less and less sensible. If me and Alexander got married with a principle dancer's pay we could easily support each other, but if one of us got injured it was all over. Then again Eric ruled a kingdom, a lifetime guaranteed employment. Then again, Alexander had gone to college and did have a Masters in Musical theory. He could easily teach. We could start a contemporary and classical ballet fusion school. Oh Jesus. Why did things have to be so complicated?

"What are you thinking about with such an angry face?" I was sitting outside in the fall leaves by a large oak tree. He leaned against it, all charm as usual. "You," I said my voice agitated. He smirked. "Good." He sat down next to me and allowed himself a grin. "Hate is a stronger emotion then Love you know." "This won't work Alexander," I said firmly staring at him. His lashes fluttered as he took at my hand. His eyes looked like they were a darker green. "We can make it work," he said softly. I looked away from his tender visage. "This is not fair to you Alexander!" I growled yanking my hand away. "If Eric comes back I'm going to be with him. Do you understand that?"

He smiled at me in a somewhat amused manner. "But if he doesn't come back then you are mine." I looked at him incredulously. "...but if he does come back…" He cut me off with a loud sigh. "Details details chérie," he echoed dismissively. I sighed and brought up my knees and leaned on them. "But of course…" he said putting a warm finger on my face. He turned my chin towards him and smiled. "…if you fall in love with me before he comes then you are mine as well." My stomach fluttered and my throat ran dry at the lazy intent in his voice. He was sexy and had a sexy accent, but Eric was ten times as good looking. Right? I couldn't really attest having seen him human only once. Unable to feel true vindication in my thoughts the only other option was to become furious. "How dare you!" I yelled. "You don't understand crap! All you do is flounce around with your "I can change your mind," bull and expect me to buy it!" "Chérie…" he tried to interrupt but I was too far gone in my anger. "No! NO Alexander! You can't just make someone forget who they're in love with just because you're attractive! You should just leave me alone. You hear me! Just leave…"

His lips crashed into mine and my breath hitched. I squirmed for a moment, but he had braced me against the tree trunk. He was gentle, trying to coax me into submission. His hot lips sent shivers down my spine and heat nestled in my stomach. Damn. My body lay limp in his grasp until suddenly his lips were gone and I inhaled the cold frosty air. The rapid change made me feel dizzy. I hit my head against the trunk feeling so very stupid. "I will not leave you alone…" he said hoarsely. "…because you do not want me to leave you alone." I looked into his intense green eyes and watched the air flutter in his black hair. Deciding something he stood up, grinned, and said with the utmost confidence, "You have feelings for me." Then he walked away with a smile on his face.

"YOU'RE A BASTARD ALEX!" I yelled after him. He simply raised a hand in acknowledgement, continuing to venture forth. I couldn't even say anything. I just wanted to kill him.

Point 20 for Alexander, -1 for Clara.

After that wonderful crucifixion against the tree, I decided to avoid Alexander for about a week. On the third day he found me, but he acted as though nothing had happened and we were set in our normal state of things. He was a great friend, and I was his great friend. Then a week before Halloween he accosted me again, this time with a different purpose. "What day is the deadline?" he asked me. I nearly walked into an oncoming pole. "What deadline?" I asked casually, though inside I was drowning in trepidation. I had been hoping he had forgotten. "You know," he said unconvinced. "Eric's deadline." I wanted to lie. I wanted to give Eric more time, but something in me needed closure. I had to have it. "December 24th," I said hollowly. "Hm," he responded. Then there was silence. "So that's why you cried at the Nutcracker ballet?" he asked me after a while. I nodded, emotionally exhausted. He left me alone after that. He tried to distract me with French traditions during the holidays and his childhood, but the damage was done. He had made it clear that he had intended me to stick to my word. I'd have to stick to mine.

Then the kicker finally reared its ugly face when our teacher, now Maestro Serge, announced that we would be doing a winter ballet this year. My heart thumped in my ears and my face drained of all color. Please God. "We will be doing…" No. "The traditional score…" Please no. "Of Tchaikovsky's the Nutcracker and the Mouse King!" All around me I heard sounds of approval, but to me it was like being suffocated. The room swam, the colors all blurred into one, and the only sound I could hear was the sound of my insides screaming. I felt my head jerk back when strong arms encircled me and dragged me to the back of the room to sit down. I turned and looked up to find myself in Alexander's lap. His eyes were filled with worry and concern. "Are you ok hon?" Sasha asked sitting on my other side. "You sort of swayed." Maestro Serge parted the class simply by looking at his cane and walked towards me. Grabbing my chin and looking into my eyes he frowned.

"Over exertion," he declared frowning. "Despite this my next words are very important. Do you think you will be well enough to hear them?" he asked firmly. I nodded and Alexander said, "She'll be fine." Our instructor nodded before giving us a small smirk. "Take care of your partner Alexander." Then he turned to the front of the room. Sasha gave us coy looks and I was infuriated when Alexander did nothing to stop them. Then again, I was too afraid to worry about it. "The main parts are exactly as dictated by the romantic period. Though we are a contemporary school it is always good to remind ourselves of our classic roots. This week and next will be teaching, then auditions will take place on Saturday." He tapped him cane on the floor and everyone stood a little straighter. "Being that we have been together for some time now I feel I know your abilities. Due to this there will be a standard female, male, and partner dance that must be learned and performed. I will post the casting list on Monday. We have very little time people. To the barre!"

I rose out of Alexander's lap and he looked at me, a hand on my shoulder. I turned away from him saying, "I'm fine," and began my exercises. The class dragged on then finally ended. I sighed as I took off my hard pointe shoes. They were new so they hurt like hell even after being broken in. I was pretty sure I could mug someone with them. My problems resurfaced as I put on my clothes over my leotard. The dancing sequences were certainly more advanced than my old Mistress Aigre days, but I knew I could do it. I knew I was born to be the person I was trying so hard to run away from. What could this mean? Seething, I set out to do my very worst at the auditions.

I initially tried to fail at the trainings, but the constant repetition and the pain from Serge's whacks ruled out the option swiftly. I opted for sloppier partner work, but it only served to frustrate Alexander who sensed that I was sabotaging myself. Not having it, he would stop whenever I made an obvious mistake and refuse to start again until the beginning of the sequence. It was embarrassing because a sequence could last several minutes. The instructor would ask if there was a problem and I would say no since Alexander would say nothing. Then I had to make up excuses for why we stopped.

The Sugar Plum Princess or to this score the Sugar plum Fairy, had a very strong solo, but due to some ungodly correction Maestro added a pas de deux with a cavalier in addition to the solo. The cavalier was not the Nutcracker, but he would have more demanding dancing then the nutcracker. Alexander wanted the cavalier and he made it painfully clear that he wanted me to be the Sugar Plum Fairy.

We danced on over and over, the sequences becoming easier and easier, and I could feel my heart breaking. Auditions came swiftly. I willed myself to dance as badly as possible as I began my female sequence. I tried to think of ways to mess up, to tell that foot to bend when it should point. This unfortunately was tougher then I had imagined. The effort needed to mess up took too much brain power and while I thought my body reacted from muscle memory. It was good, not my best, but certainly good. Good enough that after I had finished I had to fight to keep a grimace off my face. But bad enough still that Alexander was giving me a knowing glare. The males went next, trying their hardest to prove themselves. Alexander with his long wiry limbs and musical fluidity stood a world apart. It was almost like they were trying to copy him. It made me angry. Everything about him was making me angry lately.

I held my hands in my hair and then decided to stretch, anything to keep me occupied. I did second position barre work and could feel the knots in my side loosen as I bent. Looking up I nearly died of shock. In the mirror I could see Eric. I stopped, feeling a sudden burst of joy, but as I did he disappeared. Feeling traumatized at my hallucinations, I started up her barre work again. His smiling face flickered in the window. I started towards him but then again he disappeared just like before. I frowned glaring at the window. I did a plié and he came back. "The dancing," I whispered to myself. "Clara! Alexander! You're up." I turned and saw Alexander. It was time for the partner dance. Biting my lip, I walked up to face him. Then I let myself go. As I turned in his arms I saw Eric's face smiling at my in the window. I needed more God dammit!

I threw myself at Alexander with intensity that even startled him and I closed my eyes and brushed my fingers to the floor as we approached a fearless fish dive. As we snapped back up I could feel my muscles tensing and I glided my hands up into the air to complete a perfect arabesque. Alexander lifted me and I inhaled, stretching up body to limits that hurt. I didn't care. The pain, the feel of Eric, it all felt so real. I was sure I was dancing with Eric now. I opened my eyes but I saw Alexander and despaired. My body spoke of desperate agony, of want and need. Needing to dance my best to bring him back to me. The sequence ended and my breath was heavy as I faced Alexander. The room was silent. Then suddenly Maestro Serge clapped. The room exploded in praise and as I turned to the window I saw it to be as vacant as before. I went on pointe. Nothing. Bowing politely I swept out of the room and walked as far as I could wearing those blasted pointe shoes.

"Clara!" Alexander yelled after me. "Clara!" "What Alexander! WHAT!" I screamed at him as I sat and wrenched off my pointe shoes. "I'm sorry," he said softly. "For what?" I demanded, angered that my voice had slightly cracked. "I'm sorry that you alone," he said sitting down beside her. "I'm sorry that everything I do reminds you of him. I'm sorry that he hasn't come back." His voice was sincere if not a little defeated and I turned to look at him. "I know…" he began pulling a hand through his hair. "I know that you were dancing for him." I turned to look at him, my anger suddenly vanishing. "You danced the best I've ever seen you dance," he admitted. "And you're a pretty amazing dancer already."

I sighed. "He brings out the best in me." "And the worst if I might add," Alexander said grumpily as he lay back. "You do know you will be the Sugar Plum Fairy…" "No," I retorted. "I can't." He looked at me bracing on his elbow. "After dancing like that, there should be no doubt in your mind. Heck, Maestro may even push you harder knowing the true extent of your abilities. I think it's wrong of you to have been holding out." I rolled my eyes. "It wasn't intentional." He didn't answer, just frowned at me and sighed. "You really have no idea how talented you are." Pain shot into my chest. Yes I did. Eric had shown me.

"I can't," I sniffed angrily. "You can't or you won't?" he demanded, his tone icy. "I won't," I replied straightening up. "Do you think he wants you to live like this?" Alexander growled suddenly angry. "Half living? Caring truly about nothing and no one!" He shook his head in frustration. "There are people who want to care about you. People like Sasha! People like me, but you push us away! You give us half of yourself when we know you can give so much more." "Alexander…" I started but he cut me off. "No! Let me finish. I know you love him. But…" He stumbled on his next words. "I love you! I would give up and go away if I knew you would be happy, but you are not happy! I can't leave you alone. You don't want me to leave you alone. If you will not be mine at least be someone's! Who knows how much of yourself will be left for this Eric after you've squirreled it all away." Then he left and left me thinking hard about what he had said.

He was right. I had been giving less. I was still giving a lot, but I wasn't completely involved. I didn't push myself to meet my standards of excellence; I pushed myself to meet theirs. How was I supposed to get any better if I gave the minimum? I was disgusted with myself that I had allowed myself to fall so flat. That damned French boy was right. If Eric did not come for me I would have to move on. Love or not. For my own well being.

The following months were hell. Just as Alexander predicted I was the Sugar Plum Fairy, and he was the cavalier. Maestro Serge never voiced his anger at me holding back, but I could feel his wrath in ever jump, twirl, and squat I did. He made me come to class early and I was always the last to leave. He also pushed Alexander outside of his limits, but not so much that Alexander was unable to take it in stride.

On the other hand I was sure I was going to die.

"Again!" Serge would yell. "More!" And I would have to do the entire 100 yard dash again. That's what the dance equated to in essence. It was about 2 minutes and 20 seconds in standard time, but Serge would slow the timing down. The Sugar Plum Fairy dance required a lot of muscle control. It was tough because there were a lot of delayed movements. Anyone can do an arabesque, jump on one foot and spin. It was tougher when you had to go along with the music. The Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy is very slow and revolves around a series of pretty sounding bells. Turning on one foot arabesque when I had to sustain 4 beats of holding for the "do do do, do do do do da do da do" on pointe mind you, left me half dead every day. I don't want to even go into the bourée.

It was not like before where the sequences became easier over time. Every time it seemed like I was relaxing into my dance Maestro Serge would add another tougher variation to the dance or slow it down to make me suffer. My feet were ruined. I didn't even dare look at them anymore. I pulled a muscle at least twice a week and had to stretch religiously. My daily routine? Wake up, bathe, and stretch, brush teeth and stretch, eat and stretch, go to class and…hm, I think I should stretch. The pas de duex was even more daring. In it the main concept was for the Sugar Plum Fairy to fly. Due to this, there were several sustained jeté's where Alexander had to hold me long after the jump should have come down. The toughest one was where I did a grand jeté and Alexander had to hold me in my split leg position and then slowly turn me around. I trusted Alexander with my wellbeing, but I could feel his arms tremble from the calculated effort. He had to take small careful steps. One wrong step and I'd be sporting a bruise. In addition if my breathing contracted too much or I shifted and did not hold my abdominal muscles the right way I would come tumbling down of my own accord.

Since Maestro did not want to punish me to the point of abuse we practiced on the mats first. The mats and I became very personal friends. After about mid November we started a long distance relationship. It was a sweet parting. Then came the wooden floor. It was terrifying, but Alexander though he was clearly bluffing, said he had it under control. He only dropped me once in that time which I should have been happy about, but to tell you the truth, I really wasn't.

It was about the time when we were getting our costume fittings that things took a turn for the worst. There were two weeks till opening which was two days before Christmas day. We would do three performances, a morning afternoon, and night for the first two days, then close with one last morning performance. The second day was Eric's deadline. The week before I started getting depressed and no amount of Alexander's humor or Sasha's kindness could bring me out of it. He didn't kiss me or touch me outside of dancing and I was grateful. Then one day my dancing suffered so much that Serge told me to go home. I was mortified, but I obeyed. As I sat at home staring at the fire I got a call from Sasha. "Hey hun are you alright?" she asked in her thick accent. "Yes, I'm ok," I replied, glad that she cared. "What do you say you bring over your dance stuff for tomorrow and we have ourselves a sleepover?" she said calling the sleepover a "zheepova." I laughed. "Sure, I'll be over in an hour." "Good," she said her voice light. "Don't be late!"

I arrived at her house in exactly an hour with popcorn, toothbrush, a night shirt, and my equipment in my bag. She opened the door and I nearly fainted at the heavenly smell that wafted into my nose. "What is that?" I asked entering into her apartment. It was decent sized with a kitchen, living room, bathroom, bedroom, and a few closets. The walls were a warm dark green and furniture leaned toward crème. All in all it spoke of just what I needed, comfort. "What is what?" she asked me, confused. "That heavenly aroma," I extolled, putting my things on her couch. "Chicken Shashlik," she replied proudly. "Like I must lick the plate because this stuff is too awesome?" I asked coyly. She laughed and shook her head. "It is herbed and marinated chicken kebabs with grilled vegetables." I bit my lip. "I think we should make dinner time now." She shrugged and we settled into her Russian meal. When it was over I was too happy to feel depressed.

"I demand the recipe," I exclaimed. "You have been holding out on me and the only way to atone is to fork it over!" She snorted then suddenly her face became somber. "How shall you atone Clara?" I frowned. "Atone?" Sasha sighed and turned to me. "You work very hard so I knew it made sense that you were better than most of us girls, but…" She looked down before looking at me with a tinge of hurt in her eyes. "After the auditions I felt like you've been playing with us all this time." "What do you mean?" I asked her in surprise. She steadier herself then continued. "We work hard to get to your level to only find that you are even higher above us then we knew. Why did you not give it your all? Are we not worthy of your full potential?"

I was shocked. I had never thought that putting forth less then my all could affect anyone other than me. "I'm sorry," I said unhappily. "I'm just going through something. I don't even know my full potential sometimes. It's not that I'm holding back because I think you're not worth it. It's just…" I was silent. What was it exactly? Was it because if I worked too hard I would establish a life without Eric? That I might second guess myself if he were to come back and I had an actual life? It scared me. "You just what?" Sasha asked, her eyes full of concern at my sudden stop. Looking at her I felt that if I couldn't voice these feelings I would go mad. "Sasha," I said pinning her with my gaze. "Can you keep a secret?" "Of course," she said nodding. "Even if it sounds crazy and you might doubt my sanity?" Sasha frowned. "Try me darling." I took a deep breath, and then began. "It was two years ago on Christmas Eve…"

About an hour later I had spilled my guts to her and told her everything. Every single thing was put on the table, from Parthenia, to Alexander, to even the Mouse King. I kept my eyes on her to make sure she didn't look alarmed, but she just listened with a calm cool expression. Then when I was finished I looked at her. "Well?" I said cautiously. "It is an insane story," she said simply. I frowned and bowed my head. "But I believe you." I looked up at her and saw she was smiling at me. "All the time I have known you you have been holding back. Tonight I knew you spoke the truth to me and I am grateful you have done so finally!" I smiled and gave her a bone crushing hug. "I'm sorry I'm a terrible friend." She hugged me back and laughed. "Nonsense, even as a terrible friend you were a great friend. Unless you can fly I believe you can do no better." I frowned heavily. "Well there is actually one other thing." She looked at me in trepidation. "You can fly?" I shrugged. "It's more like floating."

We were silent until I burst into laughter. "Hey! That's not funny!" she yelled hitting me with a couch pillow. We had a small pillow fight before sighing and popping the popcorn. We ate it in friendly silence until Sasha broke it. "So what will you do about Alexander and Eric?" My problems sat on my head. "I really don't know," I groaned feeling headache coming on. "Well," Sasha said a matter-of-factly. "Alexander is a wonderful man. He will stand by you forever." "I know," I groaned. "On the other hand," she said standing. "If Eric is all you say him to be, he is also a great contender." I sighed. "Won't you be biased and tell me that Alexander is the best choice?" I asked her. She laughed and tapped my head. "I do know that you and Alexander would look wonderful together and I would automatically become the Godmother of your children." I snorted at her words but she simply smiled. "On the other hand I do want you to be happy." I looked at her as she suddenly rose above me. "Listen darling, here is my advice to you." I sat up, intently waiting to hear her wisdom.

"Forget them both," she said proudly. It took me a minute to register her words before I dumbly asked "What?" She smirked. "Forget them both. You have been relying on others for too long. You need to be the best for yourself, not because someone has shown you the way like Eric, or because someone wants to make you better like Alexander. You need to do this for yourself." I contemplated her words in silence. She was right. "Thank you," I said laughing. I took a big mouthful of popcorn then I turned to her. "Now, about your dance partner…" Her cheeks lulled red and the night ventured on.

The time passed quickly and soon the first performance was upon us. Opening night was always a night of nerves. The dancers bounced on the sidelines. The backstage crew had little pity for us and moved us around like furniture while they set up. I saw twizzlers in the hands of several dancers. Traditional ballet dances were so important to us because we were contemporary dancers. We had to prove that we had the same skill if not more than any other dancers.

I won't go into detail of the dances because they were wonderful and can be discussed another time. What I will mention was my trepidation knowing I had one more day until Eric's deadline was done. I kept feeling like he would show up at any moment, waiting for me with a bouquet to tell me how wonderful I had done. The show was amazing and I got more than my fair share of flowers. Alexander left me alone, knowing as much as I did that time was running out. The morning of Christmas Eve was hell. I called home and asked if anyone had come looking for me. They said no one had. I was very distracted before deciding to listen to Sasha's words. The more I became selfish, the better I felt. I thought about me, how I wanted to feel. It was a powerful change that propelled me without fail through the first two shows. The last show was the hardest. As the curtain closed I felt a wave of despair come over me.

It was 10:30 pm.

In an hour and a half, it would all be over. I begged him, I screamed at him, cursed at him in my mind. Yet when the night ended it was just me alone. Alexander stopped me that night and gave me a small kiss on my forehead before letting me go. I didn't really feel it as I walked through the snow to my house. I started up the fireplace and noticed for the first time that Madame Lafayette had a small Owl figure mounted on a clock in her living room. I thought it was painfully ironic. I sat in the living room, sipping on tea and watched the clock tick. It was a miniature wall clock that rang on the hours. Each tick resounded like a nail being hammered in a coffin. Tick…tick…tick…tick. It rang through my body, hitting me where it hurt each time. Then it gonged for eleven o' clock. I waited, watched, prayed. I watched the clock spin round in its taunting motion.

It lasted two eternities. In that time I had lived and died with Eric, and lived and died with Alexander. Then it was 11:59. I felt empty but knew my life would have to continue.

Then it became 12:00.

The gong chimed and I despaired. Suddenly the door bell rang. I jumped up, ignoring my nightshirt attire and disabled the alarm. My hands kept slipping off the locks and my heart was beating against my chest like it was trying to escape. He was here! He was here!

Unlocking the locks, I wrenched the door open. It was Alexander. He stood on my doorstep, a watch on his wrist, his breath visible swirls of steam. "Hey," he said breathlessly. "Hey," I replied. It wasn't happy or sad sounding. It was just, empty. "Has he…" "No." I said. He looked at me with such emotion it nearly knocked me over. "I'm sorry," he whispered, running a hand in my hair. It was comforting to feel his warm hands run down my neck. "Me too," I breathed as he came closer to me. Slowly his lips gently rested upon mine and he gave me a very gentle kiss. I closed my eyes and let it last. His lips came up from mine and I opened my eyes. He stared at me with longing and let his hand drop from my hair. "Good morning chérie," he said softly, then began walking away in the snow.

It was Christmas day, and Eric's deadline had passed.

Me and Eric were over.

* * *

My dear readers. I know I previously promised to post the last chapter on Halloween, but after writing continuously my last ideas I realized that if I had finished it, it would have been sloppy and rushed. Since I took a lot of time to write each chapter I feel it would be a grave injustice to rush the ending. Therefore I plan on releasing the last (possibly 1-2) chapters during the month of November. I will have it done before the Christmas season. This will definitely be true. **Thank you and please review. It means a lot to me. YOU ARE THE REASON I WRITE AND I WANT TO KNOW WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT!**


	9. Chapter 9: You'll always be my friend

"Clara and the Nutcracker"

Chapter 9: You'll always be my friend

* * *

I didn't sleep after that.

I contemplated what I should have for breakfast that wouldn't upset my stomach, and then decided to live a little so I had three strips of crispy fried bacon, one fried eggs, and piece of toast.

With butter. It sounds normal to regular people but to a ballet dancer it's like an all you can eat buffet. Anything not based in protein is a fat, and fat means slower twirls, harder lifts, and a fatter butt. Not to mention we're already a funny bunch when it comes to our untraditional bodies. Of course there were a few in the bunch who were built traditionally like Alexander, and a girl named Bonnie. They had even stricter regulations than us. I sat there in my kitchen in silence chewing slowly, savoring every taste and touch of my new beginning. This was the start of my new life. A life with possibilities for endless dancing, fulfillment, friendship, maybe even some love.

I swallowed the last bites on my eggs, and then I went and took a long steaming shower. The water pounded against my skull like a massage. When I got out of the shower it was about 5:00am. No longer tired I set out to dry my hair and make it a plain slate for the design team. The show started at 8:00 am but due to makeup, effects, stretching and costumes we had call for 6:30am. After I dried out my hair I took a moment to look at it. It was longer than I had remembered. It touched the middle of my back. My face had lost a lot of its girlish charm and become a lot more womanly over the years. My body had changed dramatically as well. I appeared lengthier. My hips were even more sculpted then before, now accented with lean muscle instead of the muscle I used to develop from kickboxing. My upper-half really didn't change but I wasn't the only ballerina who had to wear a clear stick on brassiere so I was content. It was a necessary evil considering that most of our costumes were backless.

Usually I would wear a track suit after a performance. I spent some time today carefully selecting a dress to wear. I chose a little black dress that I had never really worn. It was styled like Marilyn Monroe's white dress except it was of course black, and had several more under layers. I wore thick black diamond textured tights and put on a pair of snow boots. I put my pair of black and white heels in with my ballet equipment. I was about to put in my regular pointe shoes but then suddenly had an idea. I went into the bottom of my closet and felt around. Somewhere in there was a very special box. Inside it was…ah, I found it. Pulling back the wooden chest, I opened it and retrieved my pointe shoes from that night. They were still as pink and new looking as the day I had danced with Eric.

They were no longer a keepsake, it was time to wear them out. I packed them and continued dressing.

Silently I shrugged on a festive green trench coat that went slightly below my knees and a large grey furry snow hat. Sasha had given me the hat from her visit back to St. Petersburg. Looking at my face I paused for a moment then put on a swipe of bright red lipstick. I had never used it. I swallowed heavily and spent a while in silence just looking myself over. I marveled at how pretty I was, no vainly, but in shock. Then I turned as I heard the door bell ring. Grabbing my equipment I walked to the door and slowly opened.

Sasha and Alexander stood outside my door with sheepish looks. "Bonjour Clara," Alexander said extended a coffee in his hand. Tendrils of heat floated from the top. "Thank you," I said and gave him a smile before taking a sip of the boiling drink. Sasha smiled widely at me and put her arm around my waist. "You look beautiful! Are you ready?" she asked, her own equipment on her back. I looked at Alexander who was staring at me. "Yes, I think so," I replied with a small sincere grin. Their faces both lit up and they put their arms around me. Happily, we trod in the snow together, heading towards the studio.

The tension was high as we all stretch ourselves out before going into costume. It wasn't because we had had any previous problems; it was simply because today was Christmas. Christmas shows on the day itself were always the highlight of the year and could possibly be the highlight of someone's life! I still remembered the Sugar Plum ballerina and the Nutcracker from my first ballet. The haunting ensemble scenes still lay fresh and vivid in my head.

I faintly heard someone call my name and turned to see Alexander next to me. "Did you hear me?" he asked his eyebrows furrowed together. "No," I said leaning forward into a front split. He rolled his eyes. "I asked if you were going home for Christmas." "Yes," I said, slightly smiling at the thought of my Grandfather if I wasn't. "I missed the Christmas Eve party so I'll definitely be going home. They're going to come here for the performance and then we'll leave straight after." His eyes looked deep in thought as he replied "I see." For a moment all was quiet as we stretched out our limbs to avoid any injury.

"New Years," he suddenly said. I turned to him not sure exactly what he was trying to say. "May I visit you on New Years?" I stared at him blankly. "You would fly out all the way to New York to see me?" "Yes," he exclaimed brightly. "And we may go back to the company together." I turned from him and thought about it for a moment. Vaguely I saw him grab a twizzler and begin to chew on it in the corner of my eye. I laughed at him when I turned back and he promptly tried to hide it. "Yes," I said standing up. "Yes you can." "But may I?" he replied coyly. "Ask your mother," I said smirking and I walked toward make up.

Sighing I sit in the chair I had sat in all say and closed my eyes. "How are doing today Kyoto?" I asked leaning back. When she didn't answer I opened my eyes. To my shock I saw the little girl prodigy from my first Nutcracker show. She smiled at me brightly taking in my stupefied visage before laughing and giving me a pinch on the cheek.

She had to be about eight now and she looked very pretty. She still held some semblance to the girl I had named Pepper, but now she had a look all her own. She wore a cute green pair of overalls over a white a red striped turtleneck. There white ribbons tied into the pigtail in her golden hair. All in all she looked very festive. Then the woman from before came to join her. "Patty!" she yelled condescendingly. "I told you to wait…" Upon seeing me she stopped and yelped in surprise.

"Oh my Gosh!" she said clapping her hands together. She enveloped me in a hug which I nervously gave back. "Hi…" I said calmly. "Are you alright?" Seeing my response she took a deep breath and composed herself. "Sorry," she said smiling. "It's just we saw you dance after we did your make up and we were so amazed at how wonderful you looked and how well you danced. We were hoping to see you again. But getting to do your make up again is like a dream come true!" I looked from the ecstatic young woman to the little girl who just nodded happily in agreement. "If Kyoto alright?" I asked sitting back in the chair. "She came down with the flu," the girl said sympathetically as she threw a black tarp over my body. "We were in town and she knows us so we were called in as a favor. Feels like we owe them a favor."

I smiled back at them, humbled by their sincerity. "Thank you for making me so beautiful that night," I said gently. "If you could make me look as half as good as I did that night I'd say you'll have done more than enough." The woman blushed then suddenly bowed. "My named is Masha. I forgot to tell you." I looked at her curiously for a moment. "Is that your mother's name as well?" I asked her conversationally. "Yes," she said slightly startled. "How did you know?" I shrugged. "I knew someone named Masha a long time ago."

Patty went the side of the vanity mirror and placed a large case on the table top. Opening it she revealed several shelves of extendable makeup sets. "You're right Patty, we should start her hair," Masha said. "I'll be doing your hair. Don't worry. That's more my expertise. I was a hair stylist trainee when you met me, and also Patty's assistant." "It's not the other way around?" I asked shocked that the little girl was her superior. She grinned at me then went behind my chair. Taking her hands, she felt around to assess my texture, length, and hair part before taking a brush and dividing my hair. Leaving a small piece in the front out, I could feel her brushing my hair back.

"Pass the hardening gel Patty?" she asked with sudden focus in her tone. Patty did as she was told and I felt the cold substance swept into the hair that lay against my head. She secured my hair with a hair tie and brushed out the gel-less hair that was my ponytail. Going back to the front of my face she got a wet brush and started to shape the piece of hair she had left out against my head with the gel. I realized that she was adding a finger roll. When she was away from my face she returned to my ponytail. "You can start her makeup now Patty." Patty grinned and gently closed my eyes with her fingers. I vaguely wondered why the child talked so little. Gently I felt her apply some form of cream to my face while Masha started a complex bun at the back of my head. I sat there in the silent darkness, thinking about my dance, and then thinking of nothing at all except their gentle hands.

I remember feeling glitter dusted in the front of my hair. I had to open my eyes twice so Patty could line my eyes silver and use a metallic looking mascara on me. Then I felt a sharp crown inserted in the folds of my hair and Patty's light fingers back up from my face. "Done," Masha said proudly. Opening my eyes I was taken back. I looked…wow. The words escaped even my mind as I simply sat there staring at myself. My lips were a deep red that contrasted sharply with my silver almost snow lined eyes. My eyes looked like there was actually frost on my lids. My hair sparkled and shined from whatever she had used and the bun sat majestically on top of my head. The crown was the same one I had always worn, but I saw they had taken the liberty of spraying it with glitter as well. The brown angles of my face looked well shaped and wise.

I could have cried. They had outdone themselves.

"Thank you," I said smiling at them with watery eyes. "Thank you so much." Masha gasped and looked like she wanted to cry but Patty jumped up with a tissue and actually blotted my eyeballs. She looked at me sternly and shook her finger. I laughed. "I get it Patty," I said giggling. "No crying, it'll mess up your makeup." She nodded smiling with her teeth before suddenly giving me a huge hug. I hugged her back and then stood up. "Time to get dressed," I said checking the time. It was 7:15. "We'll be in the audience," Masha said packing up their stuff rapidly. She toppled several brushes over and I laughed. "Good luck," a clear little voice said softly. I turned and smiled at her. "Thank you Patty." Then I went to get my costume on. It was the same as always, but the makeup really accented the ethereal nature of it.

I noticed with jubilation that I was not the only one benefiting from Kyoto's misfortune.

It was terrible really.

I did noticed Alexander and Sasha's reactions towards me. Alexander blinked and did a double-take and Sasha laughed loudly and clapped her hands. "Where have you been hiding this all that time?" she nearly yelled. Alexander said nothing, but from his expression I could tell he wanted to kiss me. The others all turned to look at me in response. Their expressions all varied from shock, admiration, envy, appreciation even lu… ew. "Curtain in 10, the loud stage manager said waving his arm as though to scatter us like birds. We all responded slightly annoyed, but more nervous that it was now time. I stayed out of the way since I didn't appear until the final act.

Our Clara bounced on the sidelines looking very nervous. I walked over to her and gave her a hug. It startled her since we never really spoke but she responded nonetheless and I could feel her shaking. "Don't worry," I said warmly holding her shoulders. "You'll be great. You're a wonderful dancer." She looked at me then began to smile. "Thank you," she replied. "That means a lot coming from you." I walked away a little proud that I was using my talents for good use. The curtain pullers went on their respective sides and the lights on and offstage dimmed. It was time. I went to a cozy spot, and then inside my mind I began to stretch for my solo.

The second act came in a flash and I was seated into my throne. It was fake of course, being made of wood and plywood, but it was decorated to look like it was made of candy. Beneath me the nutcracker was telling his account of how Clara saved his life. Then as an acceptance of her and the beginning of the celebration I would begin my solo. I was helped off my throne by Alexander, my cavalier and stopped on pointe the edge of the floor. I gave a small smile as the music crept in.

After much tweaking, the tempo was relatively close to the one used in Disney's fantasia for the Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy.

I started out by going to center by walking out in bend over in pointe before fully extending to stand up straight in fifth position. I did a quick arabesque then crossed my legs to make a quick turn before doing front, side, and back developpé extensions while hopping on one foot. I came out of it with a controlled pirouette. Then I did bourée and swaying my arms in time with the change in music. I

switched feet then jumped back with and changed direction with a stalled scissor kick before doing glissade, a side step on both my left and right. Then I hopped on pointe and switched feet in time with the music. I could feel the sharp pulls in my muscles as I pushed the dance to look effortless. My face was serene and I felt myself devoid of destructive emotion. It was so calm, so wonderful. I needed this peace, it was the peace I felt dancing. It was then I knew that no matter what happened to me I would always be ok if I kept dancing.

Then I began my delayed arabesque turn sequence. Then began a sweeping sequence of turns that started in arabesque before turning into pirouettes with one hand on my hip while the other lay in the air. I realized then that I was a toy. I was portraying a perfect fairy toy that made everything look so simple. The audience would never know of my silent struggle, they would never know that I could never so much as glance at a flip flop again. Still, even with these thoughts I never broke character. It felt so good to just give my all because I could.

So I did.

There were no grand jeté's in this dance, so I spun and stretched my limitless limits while on the floor. My starched tutu, unlike the short flowing one I had in my first Nutcracker added to the surreal perfection. A bunch of bells began bunching together and a rapid series of bourée erupted from me as I fluttered around the stage left and right, my arms floating up and down. As the bells ended and the melody sung my body sunk back into the regular rhythm. My foot shot up straight to the side to reach my upward hand, and then I put that foot down, using the momentum to turn around on pointe with my other foot in a 90 degree angle curved around me. The music hummed lazily and I stalled it as I was taught. Then my foot came down and my feet wrapped around to turn twice me around before I stood once again in that first point position and hopped again.

It was so empowering. I cannot explain the feeling to you, but the simplest way to say it was I was happy.

I was truly happy. I did not know the next time I would be able to say that and sincerely mean it.

Does anybody?

The music began to wind down and I readied for my last sequence of turns. They would travel across the stage to stop before Clara. I spun a triple pirouette to the side, then a triple pencil turn, then held my leg up in the air and turned a triple before returning to do six pencil turns. I ended with a stalled half pirouette before posing on the last beat in second arabesque my left hand away the other facing Clara. I heard the clapping and settled back into pointe before running back to my throne. I sat there and watched the dances that passed by as I was supposed to, but my mind was elsewhere. I was thinking about the pas de deux. It had once been a declaration for my love for Eric. Now what was it? I had heard once that Tchaikovsky had created the Grand Pas de Duex to have a somber feel because his sister had died right before its production. I thought about the music and suddenly it did feel very somber, but yet it spoke of hope. My serene feelings started to leave me as I rested. He really was gone. I'd really have to give him up. I could keep telling myself to be strong, but I knew that when this was all over I would need more then the Christmas vacation to be okay with it.

Then it was time for the Pas de deux.

The other dancers cleared far away to the edges of the stage and the throne was silently pulled back by the stage crew. Alexander was on the opposite side of me smiling at me with such affection. I told myself that if I could get through this then I could get through losing Eric. I stopped thinking of the dance as a love dance, but as a memorial for a beautiful young girl who had put her memory into this piece. I had to dance as she would have danced for this piece. The music started off with the soft sounds of a harp lulling in and Alexander and I walked towards each other the center in time with the music. I curtsied and he bowed before taking my hand as we both advanced to face the front.

We walked in time with the music then I rose on my toes. I extended my leg forward then Alexander helped guide me through a slow pirouette and then I raised straight up in forward pointe. Then he gently tipped me to the side and I extended a leg and it stayed in the air. My legs were straight and I looked like a compass as Alexander gently tilted me to stand on my raised foot and hold out the other one. It appeared to be casual and effortless, but my stomach was clenched to hold my abdominal muscles together and he had a death grip on my hand to make sure that he took off some of the burden.

And I didn't go splat.

Then I went back to bourée. This all occurred relatively fast before the music took a turn to be somewhat mournful. As the mournful part started, I crumbled head first like a backbend slightly to the side of Alexander. He of course caught me before I hit the ground and then lifted me above his head and I extended my right arm out and put my left hand on my heart as he turned in a slowly circle. Once the circle was completed he swept me down and I was chest to chest with him, well as close as my tutu would allow. Then I began supported pirouettes that were guided by his hand that allowed me to turn faster before doing an arabesque as he held my waist and stood behind me. His foot closest to my stretched foot was pointed so we made a wonderful picture. The music wretched in a higher octave and I bourée-d away from him and his hand extended in longing as he faced me.

I smiled a small smile that was supposed to appear teasing. Then when I came back he began to lift me up in supported jetés to make me jump higher. His green eyes held mirth in them and I could see he too was happy.

As the music became more intense I found myself wanting to cry.

I was filled with such emotion and I wasn't sure if it was because of the girl or was dancing for, or the guy I was dancing from. I went away from Alexander again who stood in defiant fifth until I came back for him and he dropped me into a fish dive before lifting me so that I could do a penché. He would hold my foot after I was extended in an upward split and then step away so he could bend my leg and turn me by my foot in a curved side arabesque. I had to have perfect balance. This was very much a mat move. After about two revolutions he let go of my foot and I forced myself to not just drop my foot to the ground and to delicately lower it. Then he stepped forward to do a double pirouette and then put a hand out in front of him while to other extended to his side. His feet were in a supporting position.

I bourée-d to him and then when I was ready I would grab his arm, do an arabesque and then do a fast series of pirouettes before falling forward in another arabesque. As I finished, he grabbed me around the waist and as he tilted forward both my feet would leave the ground and curl towards him. Gently he lifted me up and set me back on pointe in a front developpé position. Another mat move, but we did this perfectly and heard the crowd break from normal etiquette and clap.

We danced on and I felt myself calm and collected, but then the ending started to come forward. I jumped straight up and extended in a jeté as he lifted me and tapped my feet together before he put me down and we did this again. Eric and I had never done the angry middle. Sweet music parted through the chaos of the mimicked moves we did and Alexander jeté-d from me and then we crossed each other in jetés I was shocked to find myself slightly higher then him.

Serge's hell training had paid off.

Then something in me snapped as I heard the violin's play their beautiful tune.

Alexander stood on the opposite side of the stage and I felt tears running down my face. I ran with all my might and I jumped into the jeté my hands above me facing my back leg. My face bespoke my agony. He caught me by my inner thighs and slowly he turned me in the air. It was the most difficult lift. I felt the stage light glaring in my face my tears ran freely and I looked up into it like it was the sun. I knew everyone would see, but I didn't care. The landing was also difficult. Alexander would squeeze on my thighs to let me know to go and I would tighten my legs around his arm and fall to the side so I could roll down and he would catch me with both hands.

The crowd roared at our feat and the music began that last series of drums. The ending was nothing as spectacular as I had danced with Eric. I just did a very fast set of pirouettes as he spun me around. As the music ended he held my waist and we looked forward as we both stood on arabesque. My hands were forward while his other hand was above me in third position. The screaming was deafening and I started to cry more, but I smiled as well.

I had done it.

No matter how painful it was, I had done it. I looked into the crowd to find my family and then my hand clamped onto Alexander. He looked at me in shock as I stared into the crowd and my body shook.

I heard my heart beating through my entire body. My mouth lay open.

He simply stared back at me, his baby blues glinting in the stage light.

There he sat in the center of the first row.

Eric.

* * *

** A special thank you to Reverend Lovejoy and Orca for being so supportive**. I will strive to keep up to your expectations. On another note I have had over 500 hit and have had 12 reviews lol. I am honored that people are reading but please please PLEASE review. The truth is. the ending is going to be very conflicted, so I plan on a sequel. So far I've gotten several good outside ideas and critques. ** Please let me know what you think. aka REVIEW! I'LL THANK YOU!**


	10. Chapter 10:Dear God where have you been?

"Clara and the Nutcracker"

Hey guys/gals: Be sure to read the comments at the end of the story. Sorry for the wait, enjoy!

Chapter 10: Dear God where have you been?

I stared at him, my eyes wide in panic and Alexander seeing that I was not moving picked me up. He held me bridal style and proceeded to walk away with me in his arms. The crowd cheered at the bold display and I held onto him, but over his shoulder I continued to stare at Eric. As the curtain fluttered behind us the others rushed to congratulate us. Seeing my dazed look they accosted me with their concerns, but I was beyond them.

It was burned into my mind, the sight of him. Alexander put me down and forced me to look at him, holding my shoulders to make me focus.

"Clara…" he yelled. "Clara!" My eyes connected to his. "What's going on?" he asked me firmly. "Where is Sasha?" I demanded. "What?" he said confused. "Sasha!" I called out loudly. "SASHA!" My voice trembled and it held the possibility of hysteria. Sasha came barreling through like a bull moving people to the side as she grasped my hand and pulled me away. Alexander simply watched us go, utterly confused.

We walked behind into the girl's dressing room and she clasped my hands with hers. "What's wrong my darling?" Sasha asked as her eyes filled with worry. "Eric," I whispered, the word sending my senses reeling back to me. I felt like I had resurfaced after a deep dive. The world came flooding back to me. "He's here?' she asked in shock. "Yes," I said firmly. "Front row." She looked almost as shocked at me then began to sputter. "When? Where? How?" I shook my head to stall the impeding headache. "Just now, front row, haven't the slightest."

"Is he still there?" Sasha asked. I tightened my hold on her hands. "I don't know. I didn't take my eyes off of him until Alexander carried me backstage." Sasha sighed as though she could feel my pain. Then suddenly one of the girls from the ensemble came prancing into the room with a basket. "Delivery for Clara! Sorry hun, I ate a gumdrop. Couldn't resist." I nodded dumbly as I took the gift from her.

Taking the gift in my hands I opened it and found to my horror and delight it was an assortment of treats assembled in the form of a familiar village. The Gingerbread village. It came with a small sender card that had the words _"The Park"_ fancily scribed and signed with an elegant _E_. Sasha looked at the gift and whistled. "You my dear are in a lot of trouble." I put down the tantalizing gift and frowned. "It doesn't matter. He missed his deadline. I…can't…" "How long were you in Parthenia?" Sasha interrupted. "I was there for a week," I said wondering where she was going. "And when you left it was initially Christmas Eve, but you returned on Christmas day right?" "Yes," I said frowning. "What's you point?" "Well…" Sasha said a smirk on her lips. "If you met him on Christmas Eve, according to Parthenian time, he still has until the 30th. My heart stopped. Holy...

"CLARA!" I heard someone yell. "SASHA! CURTAIN CALL!" We ran back, our hearts pumping with adrenaline. "What's he look like?" Sasha whispered as we neared the group. "Front row. Dark Brown Hair. Bluest eyes you've ever seen." Sasha licked her lips. "Better than Alexander?" I sighed, my body feeling heavy. "You'll see." I joined Alexander who was my curtain call buddy and we waited for the others to go. The order was first the ensemble, then the principal dancers, then the main principle dancers with solos. "Are you alright?" Alexander asked. "We'll find out," I answered truthfully as the principle dancers went and took their bows. "What does that mean?" Alexander asked glaring. Before I could even begin to answer it was time to go back out. We went out, our steps deliberate in a strange sort of run as we both bowed, then he bowed, and I bowed. The crowd roared as we came on and I felt pride swelling up in me. Then I saw him again. He was still there and his eyes were staring straight into my soul. He was smiling at me with such love I felt I could topple over. It was a split second that was broken as soon as Alexander grabbed my hand so we could all line up and bow. It was a split second of eternity.

Then it was over, we all skipped behind the closing curtain as the audience erupted and embraced each other. Most of us we would see next season. Some of us were moving on. It was a sad and happy time. We bid each other goodbyes and good holidays. I felt a strange pinch considering I had seen these people every day and now would not until after mid January. "Clara!' Alexander said suddenly pulling me to the side. "Please tell me what's going on." My heart clenched as I stared into his worried eyes. I didn't want to hurt him. He was such a good man, a good friend, and he would be a good husband one day. He was what I needed. How could I recant on what I had promised? "Alexander…" I began, my stomach gurgling in anguish. "Clara!" Sasha yelled as she ran to me. "I'm sorry Alexander, but I need to have Clara. Now!" Before either of us could protest I was dragged by her into the dressing room. I forced myself not to look back.

"Where's the fire?" I asked Sasha as she threw my clothes at me. "Two things," she said as she helped me out of my costume. "One, I saw Eric and my goodness…" she paused and sighed. "He is deliriously handsome." I snarled in frustration and she looked at me in surprise. "I can't do this," I gasped. "I care about them both so much. I don't love Alexander, but I could grow to love him. And Eric! Where the hell has that bastard been? Why did he just show up and my heart started to beat a mile a minute!" I started to pace in uneven crazed circles and Sasha watched as I rampaged through the room. "I'm a bad person! No one deserves to have their heart broken! I need to run away! I can't…"

A slap silenced my protests. I faintly registered the throbbing of my left cheek.

Turning I started at Sasha who despite her shorter stature was staring me harshly in the eyes. "Stop it," she hissed holding my shoulders. "If you run away you are being selfish! You cannot run from your problems Clara. They will find you." I drew in a shaky breath and her eyes lost some of their harshness. "Darling, I must be frank with you," she said gently. "I love Alexander as one love's a dear brother. I have known him all my life and he has been through a lot." She smiled at me, but I could tell she was thinking of him. "I want him to be happy." I sighed and sat in a chair. "Does that mean you want me to be with him?" "No," Sasha said taking the pins out of her hair. She stared at herself in the mirror and I watched as her long flowing hair fell down to her back. "Please Clara," she said, her eyes sad. "Do not hurt him more than necessary. I need you both to be happy. You must chose. Today. I need you both in my life. You mean so much to me."

I nodded at her. "Yes," I declared firmly.

What had happened to the kick butt Clara?

The Clara who had battled mice and tore through dresses? I put on my black dress, stockings, and boots and thought it over. Just because that Clara had been invented to shield myself from unfair prejudice didn't mean that it wasn't a part of me. That Clara held back her tears and worried about them later. She was brave and would never waver as I currently was. I sighed and almost laughed. She never sighed this much either. Looking at myself in the mirror I smiled as the shadow of her remained. She had more girlish features. She had a rounder face, but our eyes were always the same. I felt new strength as we became one. "Don't worry Sasha," I said smiling. "I'll make things right." She sniffed and wiped a tear from her eye. "Thank you." I nodded then thought for a moment.

"Wait," I said frowning. "What was the other problem?"

"UNHAND ME YOU HOOLIGANS!" I heard a familiar voice yell. Sasha smiled and pointed toward the noise. I nearly smiled as I grabbed my gift basket and ballet bag before running off toward the noise. "I WILL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT I AM THE VERY MORTAR OF THE KING'S MILITARY!" Hearing the last word pronounced as 'mili-tree' I knew who was causing the ruckus. Smiling I was delighted to see Major Mint in a dark blue over coat with a white shirt, and black pants. His skinny legs made him look like a dancer, probably why he had managed to almost make it backstage. "Major!" I called as I walked to him. The security that was detaining him looked at me in shock and blushed. Looking down I put on my coat and proceeded to him. "You danced wonderfully Miss," one said grinning. "Thank you," I said smiling at him. "He's a friend." Mint's gray hair and mustache were the same, but his eyes remained as youthful as ever. "Clara?" he gruffly asked in slight shock as we walked away. "Yes Major," I replied happily.

It was so strange to see him in anything other than his toy soldier get up. "You look…civilized," he said in approval. Mean Clara itched inside of me, but I decided to let 'civilized' Clara win and simple said. "Thank you Major Mint."

"Actually it's Lieutenant Colonel Mint," he corrected, his chest puffing out in pride. I could see this meant a lot to him so I kept my mouth shut about how it didn't ring out as well as Major Mint. I was proud of myself as to how I was handling him. "So you've come with Eric?" I asked softly as we passed by the doors and out into the hall where fans were waving at me. I waved back and was kissed on my cheek by a man who spoke German. "Excuse me!" the Major said giving the man a glare. He stood closer to me and growled. "Charlatan." I nearly laughed at his sudden bodyguard like notions.

"Are you here to protect me Mint?" "Of course!" he said sternly. "The interests of the crown are of utmost importance to me. I will not let our future Queen be scandalized by the impulses of rogues." His voice was filled such with disgust that I nearly forgot the future Queen reference. "Future Queen?" I squeaked. He looked at me as thought I was a few screws loose. "Well you did accept his marriage proposal before that wretched rat interfered." I nearly smacked myself. Why the frick was I making all these damned promises that I couldn't necessarily keep!"

Upon seeing my family I said, "One moment," to Mint and went to hug them. "You were a star darling," Aunt Drosselmeyer said warmly, thin strands of gray dotting her hair beautiful. She grasped my face in her hands and gave me a warm full hug. "We can't wait to spend the holidays with you!" Behind her Tommy came forward to give me a hug. I was stunned as I hugged the young lean teenager who was almost my height. "Sweet as always sis," he said, his voice wispy. "Your voice is cracking," I said astonished. "Yeah," he wheezed. "Don't remind me." He was turning out to be a handsome little devil and he had our mother's gray eyes.

Behind him stood my Grandfather. He looked younger than I remembered and I was touched by the joy I saw in his eyes. "Clara my dear," he said enveloping me in a hug. "Your parents would have been proud." I felt myself about to tear and got the will to stop. It was strange how little I always felt in his arms. He was my father and my mother. It meant a lot to know he cared. "I remember the first time you danced as the Sugar Plum Fairy," he said ruffling my hair. "You have come so far in such a short time." He let me go and smiled sadly. "You're not a little girl anymore." I smiled back. "I'm always your little girl Grandfather." We hugged me again and I turned to see the Major standing stiffly apart from the scene. Checking his pocket watch he roughly coughed to get my attention.

"Who's that?" Tommy asked frowning. I beckoned Mint over and he marched to stand beside me. "I apologize. But my orders are to deliver you at the park 1010 hours. "That's in twenty minutes Clara," my Grandfather said astonished. "Indeed it is," Mint said with a firm grin. "Military man?" my Grandfather asked. "Why yes," Mint said nodding in seeming appreciation. I sighed. Grandfather did love talking about how he joined the military right out of college. "I did my time as well. Vietnam, nasty business." Mint seemed happy to have found a kindred spirit and they chatted as I turned to my aunt.

Behind her I was shocked to find another individual. He was a tall handsome man with black and gray hair complemented by his Italian features and hazel eyes. "This is the friend I was talking to you about," her Aunt said smiling. "Clara, this is Adriano." "Nice to meet you," I said extending my hand for a handshake. He laughed and took my hand turning it over. He raised it to hover before his lips then let it go. "The pleasure is mine, _mio caro_." My face reddened by his noble manners and my aunt laughed. "My dear. He is of Italian nobility." She pinched his cheek and laughed. "What will we do with you?"

As I was about to talk I hear my name being called. "Clara!" I turned to see Alexander jogging up to me in black slacks, a green dress shirt with a holiday sweater over it. "Who's that?" my aunt said, her mischievous tone scaring me. "Yeah, who the hell is that?" Tommy asked glaring. "Tommy!" my aunt snapped. "Clara," Alexander said grasping my hand. "We need to talk." "Hello," my aunt said, a full Cheshire cat grin on her face.

"I'm Clara's Aunt Drosselmeyer." "Oh," Alexander said realizing he was in the presence of my family, "Pleased to meet you." He gave her a warm smile that was melting and I almost blushed at her grin. "You were Clara's dance partner," Grandfather said stiffly. I turned and saw that the men of the group had somewhat huddled into a fierce looking semi-circle in which to study Alexander. Mint to my surprise did not look that pleased. "Oui," Alexander lapsed in French, most likely out of nervousness. "I have been her friend for two years. Would you mind if I spoke with her for a moment?" "About what?" Tommy barked, stepping forward. I rolled my eyes in frustration and decided to intervene of the hostility.

"Listen," I said stepping in front of Alexander. "I need to meet a friend with Mr. Mint and need to talk to Alexander, so I'll just meet you at the airport okay?" My brother and Grandfather seemed reluctant but my Aunt stepped forward and said "That sounds wonderful." "Thank you," I said smiling and handing her my basket and bag. "Could you take this with you? Tommy eat anything you like." Tommy was still glaring at Alexander but he fist pumped in victory. Still the same sweet tooth. Rebuffed, my Grandfather frowned but Mint stepped forward and declared "Not to worry. I will have her back to you happy and whole." He gave Alexander a frosty look. "…without a doubt." Alexander seeing that was his cue said "Merci" and took my hand to pull me away. Mint followed stiffly behind and Adriano patted Grandfather Drosselmeyer on the back. "Come along old timer. I shall buy you a drink."

* * *

Alexander walked rather fast with me in an attempt to lose Mint. Mint's long legs covered our hurried steps in the matter of two strides. He stayed a respectable distance away, but there was no way we would ger out of his sight. "You're not going to lose him Alexander," I said, dreading our upcoming conversation. "Fine," he said halting abruptly. We were in front of the building and the traffic drifted lazily by. "What is going on?"

I sighed as I tried to find the words.

None of them seemed to soften the blow so I just decided to be forthright.

"Eric's here," I stated, staring at his feet. He was silent then I felt his fingers gently lift my chin so that I could look at him. "Are you sure?" he asked firmly. "Yes," I responded, turning to see Mint was on the outskirts sidewalk. I turned back to see Alexander's eyes and was shocked by the fire in them. In the road a taxi began to pass.

Suddenly Alexander grabbed my wrist and pulled me toward the cab which he yelled to fervently. "Hey!" I yelled, but before I could react I was in the cab beside Alexander. "Drive!" he yelled to the cabbie who simply obeyed. Mint who had been running after us saw it was useless and was yelling profanities. "What are you doing!" I growled at him but he simply held my hands. "Have you spoken to him?" he asked frantically. "What?" "Have you spoken to him?" "No," I said breathily. "Alexander…" "Has he come to take you away?"

I looked at him in shock, his desperation evident in his every move. "Answer me!" he yelled. I just stared at him in shock. "Come to take me away where?" I asked softly. He said nothing and suddenly I knew that he knew. "Sasha told you," I said, feeling somewhat betrayed. "Yes," he said massaging my hands with his thumbs. "Yes she did. And she hasn't put two and two together yet." "And you believed her?" I asked surprised.

"In honesty…" he replied. "No. I only believed that you and this Eric guy were very close in your mind but…" I snatched my hands out of his and pushed him fiercely. "You thought I made him up?" "No!" he tried to recant. "You thought I was crazy!" I growled hitting him again. He caught my wrist and held it to his eye level so I would look at him. "I had hoped that you were crazy," he said drily. "I had hoped that I wouldn't be pining over a woman who was bound to be taken from me." "Don't act like I didn't warn you," I seethed icily. His eyes softened sadly and he let go of my wrist. "Oui chérie, you did." He was silent for a moment and the confused cabbie asked us where we were going. He gave him my address and I wanted to argue, but the distraught look in his eyes stopped me. "What about your promise?" he asked me.

My heart clenched and I wanted to jump out of the cab.

"Well, he's still on time if you count time using Parthenian time Al…" "Damn Parthenian time Clara!" he yelled, his hands pointing towards me accusatory. "You made this promise in this time!" "I said I'd give you a chance!" I growled back. "I never said we'd be together!" "Do I get my chance!" he retorted. I was silent. "Huh?" he said turning my chin to face him. His eyes were pained as he gazed at me. "Do I get my chance Clara?" he said softer. I could feel his heart breaking. I put my hands on the arm that made me look at him and wasn't sure if I wanted to hold it or push it away. "Clara," he breathed painfully. His tone made me want to cry. "Clara," he said, as though I was some far away deity and he was worshipping me. "I don't know," I told him, my voice watery. "I don't fricken know."

I took a deep breath. "But I know how to find out." He released me and sat back. "By meeting him." "Yes," I said feeling tired. "Alone." He looked out the window and I suddenly had visions of myself throwing that red rose out the window. "And if you go with him, you will leave your family, friends, and dreams behind?" he more or less stated. I thought for a moment. "In a nutshell." I turned from him and looked out at the white snow covered scenery.

"I seem to keep making references to nuts lately," I said laughing bitterly. Suddenly I felt his arms encompass me. He ducked his head into my neck and wrapped his arms around my waist.

"Please don't leave Clara," he mumbled into my neck. "Please don't go." "Alexander…" I started. "I love you," he mumbled holding me tighter. "Je t'aime Clara." My heart beat rapidly in my chest and I felt the warmth of his embrace. "Alexander…" I said knowing what I needed to do. He didn't respond and his beautiful black hair strung over my shoulder. "Alexander," I said firmly. "If you ever want me to love you back, you have to let me go." Slowly I felt him loosen and then pull away from me altogether. "Stop the car," he demanded. He didn't look at me. The cabbie obeyed and Alexander was silent as he opened the door and slammed it behind him. He walked away towards the town.

"New destination," I said crossing my legs. "Back where we just were."

* * *

The cabbie was obviously amused by our conversation, but kept what he thought to himself. Soon I saw Mint pacing in front of the building. Upon seeing the taxi he stopped and marched towards it. "Thank you," I said to the cabbie. "How much?" He shrugged. "Nah, it's Christmas. Let's call it broke for the entertainment." I tried not to take offense and simply said thank you. Getting out I saw Mint dive behind me to check the cab. "Where is that villainous scoundrel? Rir rrir I'll tear him!" "Calm down Mint," I said sighing. "He just wanted to talk. He's gone know."

He straightened his coat and stood straighter whilst making deep guttural noises. "Rirr rarraghuh, Cheeky blighter." I shook my head and followed Mint as he led me to a black Rolls-Royce. I was a little shocked but Mint simply extended a hand toward the car. "You're driving?" I asked in shock. "You can drive?" He puffed out his chest in indignation. "I am a Lieutenant of the King's military! I am the head of all operations. I can do anything!"

"And yet he's not driving…" another familiar voice stated sarcastically.

I turned with saw the window rolling down. In the driver's seat was good old Captain Candy. I was struck by how handsome he looked. He had no turban on his head and his unruly black hair was short and striking against his eyes. Still, his face held a somewhat soft look which I found to be admirable. He was wearing a black and gold version of his white and blue outfit. "You Insubordinate…Rah!" Mint said unsure what else to follow it with. I felt like Candy was the only person Mint could tolerate that from. I got in the backseat and Mint sat in the front seat. "I will navigate," he said taking out a map from the glove box. Candy rolled his eyes and casually turned on the GPS. Mint luckily didn't notice. "It's good to see you Clara," Candy said looking back briefly as he started the car.

"Thanks Captain," I said smiling. He smiled back before Mint interjected. "Why don't you have her address you in your proper rank?" Candy shook his head and said, "I'm Major Candy now," he said humbly. "But personally I like the ring of Captain Candy, and I'm doing the same things I did before, so…" He was cut off by a harsh sound coming from Mint. "GRRRRmmm? Am I to understand that you would even _consider_ your new rank to be unsatisfactory?" Candy sighed and gripped the steering wheel as Mint went in on him about the importance of goals and respect. As Mint went on to rant I drowned him out. I had my own problems to worry about. I stared out the window and hoped that Alexander was okay.

Time passed. It's hard to tell how much when you're dreading something.

Every second feels too long and yet too fast.

You feel nauseous and in the end you find it's better not to think about the time at all and take deep breaths.

Then you're there.

We pulled in front of the only park that I knew about around these parts and I got out of the car and began walking. I turned and saw that Candy and Mint had remained in the car. "You're not coming?" I asked slightly intimidate. "The King is more than capable of handling you himself. We will keep guard at the gate," Mint said stiffly. I supposed it was just his nature and I nodded. Eric had gone toe to toe with the Mouse King after all. I pulled my coat closer and was suddenly self conscious of my dress clinging to me. I pushed my doubts aside and gathered up all the bravery I could muster. I needed to do this. Had to do this, if I ever wanted to move on.

The snow crunched underneath my boots as I walked into the park. It was overgrown with evergreens and I could taste the pine on the air. A gray statue of an angel was mounted in a corner and was dusted with snow. I walked on looking all around the surreal landscape and I wondered if I would wake up to a nightmare.

Then I saw him.

He was sitting on a bench in the center of the park facing what would have been a garden in the summer. He was wearing a heavy black coat and I could see the brown chocolatey locks at the base of his neck spill over his gray scarf. I was pretty sure he was wearing black pants as well as black gloves. I stepped forward and the snow crunched tactlessly under my feet.

I froze like a deer in headlights as he turned to me and I couldn't remember my name. He stood and I stayed rooted in motion as though I had become one of the statues the Mouse King had made. He said nothing, he just gazed upon me with his beautiful azures as he walked towards me. I took a step forward to bring my feet together and he stood close to me. I noticed he took off his black gloves and stuck them in his pocket.

Gently he put a hand on my cheek, his fingers brushed my neck and I shivered. "Clara," he said in a voice only he could have spoken in. I was warm, so warm as I stared into his eyes. "Eric," I breathed. He brought his other hand to pull me closer to him so gently I barely realized I had moved. His hands were warm despite the cold as he cupped my face with both of them. He said nothing and I could feel his finger wind into my hair as he lifted my face to meet his. His lips were pink and the steam from his breath tickled my face. My eye lids drooped as he went to drop his lips onto mine.

Then something inside me kicked. As though I was broken from a trance I pulled back wildly and stared at him. He seemed a bit shocked as I gaped at him breathing heavily. "Clara…" he began but I cut him off. "Where the hell have you been?" I asked incredulously. "Parthenia," he said slowly. "I tried to get you back, honestly I did. But the magic of the mouse hole was also cancelled when you broke all of his enchantments." "Then how did you find me?" I asked trying to make sense of it all. I noticed with trepidation that he was very deliberately, causally closing the gap between us. "We made a deal with the snow fairies to reopen it then we tracked you. Originally it was from the locket…" he began.

Step.

"…but then we sensed the Sugar Plum Princess magic and knew it had to be you. We followed it and it led us to that Nutcracker Production. And there you were…"

Step.

"…dancing as the Sugar Plum Fairy."

Step.

I stepped back.

"The shoes," I said frowning. "I danced that way because the shoes?" I was pissed. "No," he corrected with another step. "Your abilities are your own; it's just that since those shoes are connected to Parthenia we were able to track them. It's lucky too. You look…different." His eyes suddenly became somewhat mischievous and I gulped as he stepped forward. "You've become more beautiful with time," he said striding forward again close enough to touch my hair. I stepped back and he looked at me in hurt confusion.

"Clara, what's wrong?" he asked. I made hugged folded my arms and sighed walking away from the fence to gain my ground. "When did you find out you could track me through my things?" Eric was silent before starting with, "Clara, you know that time moves differently than in Part…" "How long Eric?" I growled. He sighed and I could see the answer was probably not going to make me happy. "In your time, last Christmas." I wanted to scream. "Then why didn't you come for me?" I asked dangerously silent. "I couldn't Clara," he said, regret in his voice. "I wanted to. I swear, but I had to look after my kingdom. I already failed them once, I couldn't do it again." I was silent, glaring at the trees above him. "So your kingdom's more important than me?" I asked softly. He was silent for a moment at the loaded question. "No Clara," he said walking toward me. "I knew you were safe. I still love you I just couldn't let everything we had worked so hard for come undone. I needed time."

"Time?" I yelled. I was being irrational, but I didn't care. I couldn't, not with everything I had endured. "You abandoned me for two years Eric!" He closed the gap between us and held my shoulders. I tried to shake him off but it was little use, he wasn't King for nothing. "Clara," he said trying to contain me. Hot angry tears threatened to spill out of my eyes and I held them in. "Two years!" I yelled again. "Do you know what I've done in two years?" "Clara I'm sorry." "I've done countless ballet performances. I've given my blood, sweat and tears, I cried your name in my sleep you arrogant self-centered bastard!"

"Clara," he said crushing me in a hug. I wriggled wildly against him as the tears fell. Their falling made me feel defeated and weak so I pounded hard on his back and shrieked. "I hate you Eric! I hate you!" "Clara," he said holding me tighter, taking my strong hits. "I'm sorry Clara." I could feel his warmth and love in the tender care he held me despite my violence and his voice was saddened. I shook against him and tried to push off his chest, trying hard to stifle my sobs. "I needed you too. I'm sorry I left you alone," his hand flattened me against him and he used his other hand to put my head on his chest and cradled me. "I wasn't alone," I simpered, my wits coming back to me. "I had my friends and family to take care of me." "But when you went back to the house the locket was in…" he said running a hand through my hair. He pulled me away from his chest so he could look into my eyes. The sadness in them placated me. "…when you went back home I wasn't there. No one was there. You were left in that house. Alone."

I bit my lip as I felt a new set of sobs begin to rise but before I could start he kissed me fiercely.

His heat dried the water that was welled within me and I clutched to him like a lifeline. His tongue parted my lips and I nearly gasped at the King's naughty ministrations. Soon I was warm everywhere and I felt faint. Then he withdrew, steam swirls drifting out of our mouths. He looked at me, refusing to break eye contact. He took my left hand in his and interlaced our fingers. "I'll never leave you alone again." I sighed and leaned into him, savoring everything that I loved about him and he held me as I gathered up my courage. I needed to think clearly before it was too late. I pulled back and he released me as I took a deliberate step back but I kept his eye contact. "Tell me something," I began, my eyes staring down into his. My eyes were gray like a brewing storm, just like my mother's and I thought deeply about family.

"Would you do anything for your kingdom?" He looked at me somewhat suspicious, but he answered, "Yes." I sighed and smiled as I looked into the white cloudy sky. "Well I'd do anything for my family and friends. They're like my kingdom. We support each other and care about each other way too much for our own good." I looked at him and could see his face was almost scared as he stared at me. "Eric," I began again. "I wish, want so badly to go with you but I can't. Not right now." "Why?" he asked calmly, though I could tell he was frantic. "Are you angry?" "No," I said almost laughing. "Your love for your people is one of the things I've always loved about you." I took a deep breath, this was the hard part. "I have responsibilities now. Maybe it was the magic of that place that was going to make it so easy to leave everything behind, but its different now. You taught me about living up to your responsibilities and the dangers of not doing so, and now I can't back down from my own. I can't go with you. I want to…but, I can't."

He was silent as he studied me and he suddenly smirked and took my hand. Rubbing it with his thumb he gave me a blinding smile.

"You honestly don't believe that I would give up so easily do you?" My heart skipped a beat and I laughed in response. "No I suppose not," I said smiling at him. I was shocked that I didn't feel like I had been punched. My hand was on fire, but the images of my obligations kept it contained. "You love me, don't you Clara?" he asked me softly. My breath hitched as I looked into his soft eyes. Before

I could answer I was shocked to hear a loud "No!" resound in the air.

Alexander suddenly appeared out of nowhere having jumped over the impossibly high fence. He must have seen Candy and Mint patrolling outside. "Alexander!" I yelled in shock. He said nothing and helped over a figure I realized to the Sasha. "Clara!" she yelled running to me. She passed Eric to envelop me in a hug.

"You never told me you would leave!" She held onto me tight and I saw that her eyes were red. I was shocked and looked to Eric to see if this was actually happening. "Sasha…" I began, knowing there was no way I would be able to pry her off. "I told you everything. How could you not know that…" "You're my best friend remember?" she yelled distraught. "I have never been so close to another girl. In St. Petersburg I only did ballet. They all treated me like an outcast because I was not wealthy. Even now in class the girls are still distant. Most do not listen to my heavy accent, but you do! You care! You mustn't go I will be alone!" She buried her head in my arms and sobbed.

I saw Eric was pained seeing this exchange and I had absolutely no idea what to do. "Hey," Alexander suddenly shouted. I noticed he had changed into a black sweater and black slacks. He looked imposing in the white scenery. "What?" I snapped suddenly mad that he had brought Sasha into this. "I'm not talking to you Clara," he said giving me a look that somewhat scared me. He flicked his anger onto Eric who noticeably stood straighter. "Yes?" he replied firmly. "So you are Eric?" Alexander said frowning. "Yes, that would be me," he said folding his arms. "Clara didn't bother to mention you. And you are?"

"Alexander Valk. Clara's partner for the last two years." I frowned. The way he said partner had made me feel as though he was not thinking of dance at all.

"How charming," Eric said, his voice steely. "And I suppose you upset the sobbing girl in Clara's arms?" "_You _upset her," Alexander hissed. "You did come to take Clara did you not?" Sasha let out another sob and gripped me harder. "Shut up Alexander," I yelled, furious. This was not how this was supposed to go! "Let the boy talk Clara," Eric said, a light smirk on his lips. His eyes looked like daggers. Alexander radiated fury as he walked closer to Eric who stayed stationary. "Calm down Sasha," I said trying to calm her down. "Stop it! Didn't you tell me to do what made me happy? Aren't you supposed to be neutral in this situation?"

Sasha wiped at her face and shook her head. "I didn't know you would just up and leave! I thought he would come here. I can't bear to lose you Clara!" "You think you know Clara?" Alexander spit. "Do you know her favorite song? Do you know her favorite color? How she likes her coffee? Do you even know her birthday?" Of course Eric could know none of this so I knew he would feel inadequate. "What about you?" he asked calmly. "Do you know about the prejudice that used to follow her when she danced? Or about any of her past before she met you?" Alexander's lips tightened in a line as Eric continued. "You may know the woman she is today, but you have no idea how she became that way." He stepped forward and his voice was pure ice. "Before you even dare to question our _relationship_ you might want to consider your _friendship_ with her."

"**Je t'emmerde**!" Alexander growled. I was pretty sure it meant f- you in French. When Alexander and I had first met he had found it funny to teach me French curse words. "And here I thought you were interested in Clara," Eric said casually and we were all shocked he understood. "You know French?" I asked confused. He simply gave me a sexy look and turned back to Alexander.

The devil.

"What are you here for?" he asked with a very superior look. I was stunned at how much like royalty he seemed. He had never used a superior air in front of me or anyone else in Parthenia. "I won't let you just take Clara without a fight," Alexander said balling his fists. Eric looked at him in disdain and suddenly his eyes switched to mine. "I'm not taking Clara anywhere she doesn't want to go. You've come here to confront me, but the person who's making the decisions is the woman in front of you." "She doesn't need you to take care of her," Alexander said stepping closer to him menacingly. "And she doesn't need you to speak for her now do you Clara?" Eric asked me. Sasha had stopped sobbing but her hands were imbedded into my clothing.

"No I don't," I said glaring at them both. "You both are giving me a migraine." I patted Sasha and then locked eyes with Alexander. "Alexander, this is something I need to work out alone. You had no right to bring Sasha into this!" "I had a right to know," she sobbed out. "Just as he had a right to know the truth about Eric, but you didn't tell us everything Clara! What about your promises Clara? To be best friends?" "What about your promise to give me a chance starting today?" Eric turned and looked at me, his eyes wide with shock. "Alexander," I hissed, feeling panic well inside me. "Yes Eric," he said viciously. "She was going to move on without you starting today. She agreed to it. I was supposed to meet her family during the holidays. If you were a minute late she would have forgotten you."

"No," I cried out, but I could see the hurt in Eric's eyes. "That's not true!" I growled. "I told you if Eric came I would be with him!"

"What about all the times we've had together Clara?" he asked darkly. "The times we've kissed, the times you…"

I wrenched Sasha's arms off of me and I ran to Alexander getting in his face. "Don't you dare open your mouth to say one more blasphemous thing." My voice dripped poison and my body spoke of the violence I would invoke on him. "Why Clara?" he asked stepping closer that I would have liked towards me. "Are you afraid he'll leave you? Don't you have faith in his _undying_ love?" his sarcastic cruelty stunned me. He had never acted this way towards me before. "Clara," Sasha called. I turned and saw she was still on the floor. "Clara I'll tell!" I looked into Eric's eyes and saw how pinned we were. He looked miserable and I could tell he felt betrayed. I had never felt so afraid in my life.

He wouldn't actually leave me would he?

"CLARA!" Sasha screamed. My eyes snapped back to her and I saw her tears spill onto the snow. "I'll tell your family that you're going to leave. I'll tell them that he took you! I'm not leaving here without you!"  
"Sasha…" I said, feeling my tears starting to run down my cheeks. "Please." She shook her head and hiccuped. Eric tore his eyes off of me and to her surprise lifted Sasha up off the ground and set her on a bench. "Alright," he said quietly. He gave her a small smile while she simply stared at him in shocked confusion.

Then he began to walk out of the park. I started to run after him but Alexander grabbed my arm. "Clara no!" he called. I pushed him and wiggled like a wild animal.

Wrenching free I ran full speed after him and grabbed his back holding him tightly round his waist. "No, don't leave me Eric," I sobbed. "Please don't leave!" I felt his body shiver and he pulled me to face him. "I'm not here to destroy anything you've made Clara. I love you too much to hurt the ones you love." "Eric!" I yelled grabbing onto him so he wouldn't move. "Look at me Eric!" His blue eyes caught mine and I saw they were filled with doubt, he was…scared. "What do you want me to do?" I asked him desperately. He put his hands around my face and I held onto his arms. "Protect your kingdom." He started to let me go and walked on.

In my mind the sky grew dark.

My eyes were blinded by the tears that flooded my eyes and all I could feel was violent emotion filling my every pore.

"YOU BASTARD!" I screamed. "I LOVE YOU!"

He stopped midstep and turned to look at me. I was containing my sobs as they racked my body. "I love you Eric," I whimpered, trying to dry the never-ending torrent. I could not see him, but I heard him run forward before he scooped me up in his arms. "Oh thank God," he said holding me to him desperately. "I thought I wasn't good enough." I wasn't sure what to say. He had doubted my love for him? This sexy wonderful creature had felt inadequate with me?

Where were the cameras?

After a moment of collecting myself I knew we couldn't stay this way at the moment. "I can't go with you _right_ right now," I said pulling back. "I know," he said sighing as he looked behind my shoulder. Alexander was glaring at the display while Sasha looked like a confused broken doll on the bench. "Clara," he said suddenly. I turned to him and he kissed me, hard and passionately in front of Alexander. I gasped at his intensity and when he released me I turned to see Alexander in absolute fury. "Your locket," he said to me hurriedly. "When you are alone and have made up your mind open your locket and it will take you to me. You have to do this before 12:00 pm tomorrow alright? Or the magic of Christmas will all disappear and I will leave, assuming you have moved on." "Okay," I breathed holding his hands. He seemed like he was going to kiss me again but then arms encircled me and Sasha and Alexander pulled me away from him. I watched as he bowed and then walked off.

I didn't even want to look at them. Sasha stayed latched onto me and asked, "Is he leaving?"

I didn't answer her.

Alexander called a cab and stalked around the front gate while Sasha told me of all the ways she'd make this up to me. Her words sounded hollow and repetitive to me. I didn't really hear her. The taxi came and I sat in the middle between Alexander and Sasha. It was deadly silent as they took me to my house. "Please say something," Sasha said sadly. I turned to her coldly. "You don't want me to say anything I'm feeling right now," I hissed.

She bit her lip and looked out the window. I turned to see Alexander was staring at me as well. He said nothing but tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear. In response I shook my head like a dog and let it settle into a crazy mess. "I won't apologize," Alexander said crossing his arms stubbornly. His green eyes burned fire. "**Il est plein de merde**. (He's full of shit.)" "Stop the car!" I growled angrily. I had had it. "Keep driving," Alexander said firmly. "Stop the car!" I yelled standing up. "Sit down Clara!" Alexander said pulling my jacket back into the seat. "You're not the boss of me," I said icily. "Well boss I'm not going to let you walk back to your house in the snow," Alexander said angrily. "Since you've obviously missed your family flight. Or did you forget about going to the airport?"

"Damn!" I yelled checking the time. I had been so absorbed I had forgotten I had a one o clock flight. It was 12:30, I'd never make it. "Give me your phone," I said to Alexander. He looked at me suspiciously before I stuck my hand out and glared at him. "Give me the phone!" He reached into his pocket and did as I demanded. Feeling a headache coming on I called my aunt's cellphone. "Hello?" she said. "Hi, It's Clara," I said sighing. "Oh Clara! I was getting worried. Is everything okay dear?" "Yes Auntie," I said calmingly. "Unfortunately my business has held me over and I'm going to have to take the next flight out." "But the next flight is 10 tomorrow!" my aunt said panicking. Perfect. "Oh well," I said trying to sound unhappy. "It's okay. I'll be there soon." I left out the 'I promise,' I had two promises too many. "Okay dear," my aunt said, sounding sad. "We love you." "I love you too," I said, suddenly feeling a sense of loss.

I loved them so much. Could I really live with seeing them only once a year if that?

I hung up and Alexander looked at me. "Do you really want to leave that behind?" he asked me firmly. I turned from him. I didn't need this. We rode in silence until we arrived to my house. Without a word I moved past Sasha who had the guiltiest look on her face. "Clara my darling," she said softly her voice breaking. "I didn't know what else to do." I nodded at her, not prepared to forgive her, but trying to understand. I walked around the cab when Alexander suddenly stepped out of it. "Clara!" he shouted. I kept walking to my door. I had unlocked it and was about to slam it in his face when he stopped it with his hand. "Clara," he said again. "What?" I grumbled. "I know you're trying something, and I want you to know I will stop you." "Thanks for the warning," I said trying to push the door closed on him.

He pushed and invited himself in stopping before the mantle. "It wasn't a warning Clara," he said leaning on it. Despite his attitudinal faults he was an attractive man and the fire behind him stocked the fire always burning in his eyes. He was fiercely loyal and kind and we could have been good together, but Eric has stoked the fire that lay dying inside of me and I would do just about anything to keep it blazing. "Get out Alexander," I said tiredly. "Fine," he said taking his hand off the mantle. "You should forgive Sasha. She is just a lonely girl who loves you too much for her own good. We both do." Then he left shutting the door behind him. I sighed and put on my kettle to get some hot cocoa. Deciding I really needed relaxation I broke out every emergency bar of chocolate I had and piled in a basket by the tub. I filled the tub to the brim with bubbles and steaming water. As the kettle rang I made my cocoa and even added marshmallows to the mix. Grabbing a stereo and CD's I put candles around the tub and played lulling jazz to help myself relax. In two hours I would call Sasha, and not a moment before then.

Little did I know that my fire was a few life changing logs short.

* * *

**To Reverend Lovejoy: **I hope I answered some of your wishes in this chapter. I missed Mint and Candy too^^ I felt really bad for Clara at the end of the last chapter. That's the sucky part about writing in the "I" tense. Oh well:P

**To Orca:** Thanks for your support. Hope you like where this is going.

**To Barbiegirl2435:** Sorry if I left you hanging a little bit. I had tons of work. The last chapter is coming soon.

**To ChocolateSyrup:** Thanks so much for reviewing now! It means a lot to me, you have no idea^^ Hope you enjoyed this chapter.

**"TO EVERYONE: **_There will be ONE MORE CHAPTER til the end of the Clara and the Nutcracker Story! I plan on however releasing a sequel. IMPORTANT: TAKE MY POLL ON MY PROFILE!_** I use your ideas! (case in point, Mint's appearance) Honestly, though most of you are EricX Clara shippers you have to admit Alexander is not exactly a scrub^^ Tell me how you feel overall. I may or may not release a preview to the sequel which I intend to run**** during the actual Christmas season.**

**OMG A CHRISTMAS STORY DURING CHRISTMAS? **

**I know, it's unheard of.**

**Continuing on, I want to apologize. My semester is coming to a sudden close pretty soon due to the lovely nutsy ways of college, so I'm going to try to finish the last chapter ASAP. Keep checking it, because I have no intentions of leaving it til next year lol. **

_PLEASE REVIEW! PLEEEEEEAAAASSSSSEEEEEE!_

_Review and I'll thank you^^ (Have a nice_*insert time slot*_)_


	11. Chapter 11:12 And yet I would do this

Chapter 11: And yet I would do this

THANK YOU, COMBINED CHAPTER 11/12 AND READ THE END COMMENTS

* * *

I didn't sleep that night.

I called Sasha after fuming off and told her that she was extremely selfish and that I would never just forget her. I also told her if our friendship meant so little and that my happiness was unimportant we should just forget all the time we spent together. Oh, and I forgive you. It wasn't exactly how I had planned to say it, but I didn't really have the time to repress feelings. I had a larger problem to face. In my head I replayed all the times in Parthenia compared to the times I had in the last two years.

They were so different and yet they meant so much to me. I had cleared one thing up for certain. I did not have as strong feelings for Alexander as I had for Eric. While Alexander had been a true friend and I could have learned to love him, Eric was the person who lit my skin on fire with a single glance. He was my noble king, and I didn't dare be without him. That was the simple part. The hard part was my family.

I loved them so much. The feelings for one's family cannot be compared to the feelings of one's lover.

They are two different types of love. Both are unique, powerful, but most of all both necessary. Both needed. In the back of my head I imagined Eric saying, "I could be your family." It was true; I did have a strange family back in Parthenia. Captain Candy was like my cousin and Major Mint was his overbearing father, making him my Uncle. Pepper and Ginger were like…

The thought was shocking but in a way they were like my kids.

I don't recall them having a mother or father, even after we were reunited with the townspeople. And of course Eric was the love of my life. I lay on top of my bed as I wondered what it would be like to start a family, my own family. I was only 19. True, in a different time I would be considered an old bag.

What exactly were the customs of Parthenians? How exactly did their marriage system work? Did they expect me to make an heir? How soon?

I thought about my body that I had painstakingly sculpted over the years ravaged by stretch marks and God forbid…**fat.**

_**Baby **_**fat**.

The horrors kept me wide awake. Would I ever recover for my dancing career? Would I have a dancing career in Parthenia? I did this for a long time. Turning I looked at the clock. My sheets were rumpled underneath me. The room was dark and the moon shone through the curtains of my bedroom window. It cast faint shadows through the room. I watched numbly as they moved as the moon started to fade with the morning light.

The digital clock beside me blinked a dull red.

2:30 am.

I thought about asking Eric these questions, but what if I didn't like the answers? Would that drive us apart? Would I have to compromise? Would he try to compromise for me? I rolled to my side and felt like my entire body was made of lead. It would be soon easy to never get up again.

Stay here in this comforting dark and never think again. After another hour I knew I couldn't do this anymore, I needed to clear my head. I slipped on a pair of jeans that I tucked into a pair of tall boots that ended underneath my knees. Wrestling into a gray long sleeved sweater, a heavy poofy black coat, an Eskimo hat, and black gloves I ventured outside.

I was snowing. It's always snowing or raining or something dumb in situations like this. The snow crunched under my feet as I walked down the street. There were no cars on the street being that it was Christmas night. I put my hand out and watched as a snow flake landed in my hand and then melted away. The sky was gray, but the first signs of dawn lingered in the air. The snow here was cold, not like Parthenia. It was all so beautiful.

Not as perfect as Parthenia but that's what made it real, wonderful, and true. My boots sunk into a deep patch of snow I hadn't been expecting and I was glad my boots were so high. A street lamp stood in front of me. It was straight enough to perform its intended purpose, but it bent slightly to the side angling the light. I walked into the circle of light and slowly turned around. In the dark I could see everyone I loved looking at me expectantly.

The light fell upon me now.

I was center stage.

The sky was turning a dark purple as the sun and clouds fought for dominance. I truly lived in a beautiful world. I suddenly started running. I went onto what would have been the grass and ran as fast as the boots would take me. I couldn't see, the snow was whipping in my face. I was just one raw emotion as I kept going. Going somewhere, anywhere. Then I fell. My ankle didn't snap and I didn't lose my balance. I just suddenly felt my entire body stop.

I lay on my back in the snow like a broken doll, my arms wide, my legs sprawled in angles. Then I made a snow angel. I breathed in the chilly ice cold air and felt my legs starting to numb with the cold. My skin was staring to burn inside my jeans. I rose; dying here was not an option. I hugged myself as I walked back to my house.

I had to talk to Eric.

Now.

I didn't care if it didn't resolve anything. I just couldn't live with not knowing.

If I knew what I was getting into, if he loved me as much as he said he did, then I didn't need anything but him. It took me a while to get back. The wind was lashing at me almost as though it was punishing me for being such a dramatic idiot. Finally I, along with a bit of snow, blew back into my house. I locked it firmly behind me and started to shake out my jacket. Putting my clothes by the fire I wrapped up in my bed and decided to set my alarm clock for three hours.

It was 4:15.

Yawning I went to sleep.

When I woke up to the gentle sound of the radio singing Christmas songs I felt a lot more at ease with the situation. I put on the kettle with intentions of hot chocolate and put on my now dry clothes. After enjoying my drink slowly I decided it was time.

7:40 am.

I put on my jacket and accessories in case he was outside. Then I reached on the mantle to get my golden locket.

It was gone.

I tried to contain the rising panic within myself and searched again. Not there. Taking a deep breath I searched around it, the fireplace had a mesh on it so it couldn't have fallen in. When it was nowhere to be found I tore up my house. I could no longer contain my panic. I searched every nook and cranny to find it and it was _nowhere_ to be found. "Where could it be!" I yelled to myself. I only kept it in one place. I threw my drawers and dug through their contents.

I thought of the last time I had seen it. Yesterday! I had seen it yesterday morning when Sasha and Alexander…

I stopped dead.

Alexander.

When he had been leaning on my mantle last night he had nicked it.

The bastard!

I grabbed my keys and ran outside as fast as my legs could take me to Sasha's house. Pounding on the door she opened it, looking at me with wide eyes. Before she could speak I growled, "Where is he?" "What?" she asked confused. "Where the hell is Alexander!" I hissed storming into her house. He wasn't there. I saw red and turned to her viciously. "Even after I forgave you, you still do this to me!" I screamed. "What are you talking about?" she asked her tone confused and wary.

She too was dressed in similar attire to mine. "He took my locket!" I yelled, my panic hitching my voice.

It was 9:00 am.

"If I don't find it by 12:00 pm I'll never see Eric again!" Sasha looked me horrified. "I had no idea. I didn't know he did this!" I looked at her and saw she was telling the truth. "This is bad," she exclaimed getting on the phone. "Taxi, 50 Belreby. Step on it we have a plane to catch!" She said forcefully into the phone. "A plane?" I asked feeling a chill run down my back. "Yes a plane," she said putting on her jacket. "Alexander is going home to France on a 12:00 pm flight." I nearly passed out. "But it takes two hours to get to the airport," I whispered. She looked at me gravely and nodded. I didn't know what to say, but when the taxi pulled up we both ran into it. We were shocked that the man was an American.

"Here's 70 dollars worth of euros," Sasha said shoving it to him. "Get us to the airport to make a 12:00 pm flight and you can have it." He nodded greedily and began to speed away. "Why are you helping me?" I asked Sasha confused. She sighed. "Clara, just because I don't want you to go, doesn't mean I have to right to take away your choices." She took my hands in hers and I saw her eyes were sad. "If you stay I want it to be because you want to," she said softly.

"I love you dearly. Please do not forget me." My throat was filled with emotion and I forced myself to gulp it down. "I would never forget you Sasha," I said giving her a big tight hug. We held onto one another until Sasha broke the hug to yell "Hurry it up!" to the driver.

After that she started to ask me more about Eric and Parthenia. I was happy to oblige as I spun tales of the snow fairies and the flower fairies. "Is this for some kinda book?" the taxi driver asked. We looked at each other smirking. "Yeah," I replied. "A life story." "Ah," he replied. Then we rode on in silence. I broke it talking to Sasha and continuously looking at the time.

As the panic began to well up in my throat I could feel Sasha watching me anxiously. "Are you okay?" she asked me putting a hand on my shoulder. "No," I replied honestly. "Not really." Sasha looked at me, her eyes filled with courage. "Don't worry, we'll make it in time." "Thank you Sasha," I said smiling. Suddenly I had a very sad idea. "Sasha," I said gently. She nodded to show she was still listening. "If I don't come back, will you tell my family what happened. The truth?" She looked at me as though I had just punched her. "Yes," she gasped. "I will Clara. I swear."

We had to stop several times because the streets were so terrible. It was maddening really, stopping and riding slower than a walking pace. Sasha squeezed my hand and urged the taxi driver faster. I think he found Sasha very beautiful because when she said the slightest urging he would increase speed like Fast and Furious. We were almost there. Looking up we could see the planes speeding off into the sky. "How do we tell which plane he's on?" I asked Sasha. Suddenly she looked at me with surprise. "I have no idea," she admitted. "Well," I said trying to stay calm. "Do you know which airline he's taking?"

Silence.

My heart began to beat uncontrollably and the taxi driver who was quite intuitive passed back a paper bag. Sasha thanked him and passed it to me and I took several deep breaths. After a bit of time she pulled away the bag. "Almost there," she said patting me on the back. I noticed she spared a glance at the taxi driver and saw in truth he wasn't bad looking. Soon we were at the main gate. She passed him the money and he gave her back some.

"Normal fare thank you," he said smiling at Sasha. "Thank you for gracing me with your beauty on this lovely morning." "Oh my," Sasha said blushing. She slipped him a piece of paper and we jumped out of the cab with hurried thanks.

It was 11:41.

"You have your number prewritten?" I asked her as we ran through the airport. She shrugged at me and smiled. "You never know." I laughed though my heart was racing rapidly and we ran to check the postings. There were three airlines doing flights to France. "Would they tell us if Alexander was on a certain airline?" I said panicky. "We'll make them," Sasha said walking straight to the front of the booth. Normally I found this extremely rude and I tried to not feel the death wishes and anger of those who lay in the long line.

"Excuse me!" Sasha said to a woman from the airline. "I'm really sorry to interrupt but we're looking for a man named Alexander Valk. Black long hair green eyes. A 12:00 pm flight."

"Sorry," the woman said with a fake smile. "We can't disclose information about our customers to…" "It's life or death important," Sasha said staring deep into her eyes. "His brother has one week to live." She looked at us shocked and I added, my voice quivering, "He won't be back in time to see him one last time." The woman nodded, her mouth grave and she typed into the computer. "Sorry," she said checking the computer. "Try American Airlines." "Thank you," Sasha said nodding and we ran to the next stop.

We rushed to the front of their line and heard several French curses.

"Good," Sasha said to me. "We're close." We ran to the front and disclosed the information, but this time security came to us. "I'm sorry maam but you'll have to wait on line to be served," they said with tight smiles. "We have to find my husband," Sasha said angrily. "We'll help escort you out," a burly man said about to grab her. Anxious I yelled, "SHE'S PREGNANT!" Their grabbing arms dropped and then gave her a bunch of space. "They just divorced!" I yelled as they stared at me wide-eyed. "If she doesn't find him she won't be able to hold onto the baby. Her parents will make her get an abortion!" A woman behind the counter started typing despite a coworker's hushed whispering.

"Terminal 12, Gate 7," she said firmly. "Run, the flight's boarding in 5 minutes." We dashed as fast as we could with security prompting through clothes checking, baggage checking and finally through the eleven gates. It was 11:57 pm. "Last call for Paris, France 12:00 pm flight," an attendant yelled. Then we spotted him. His hair was in a pony tail and he had a white sweater on with a brown jacket.

His shoulder bag was gray and it was the first thing to hit the floor when I tackled him.

"YOU BASTARD!" I yelled loudly as I gripped his shirt and pulled his face toward mine.

"GIVE IT BACK!" He looked at me in shock before pushing me off and standing up. "What are you doing here? Do you want to get taken away by security?" he growled. "Shut up," I seethed pushing him. "Give it back I need it!" The clock said 11:58 pm. As I watched it I shook him furiously. "My locket! Give it back!" I screamed. He grabbed my arms tight and Sasha stepped forward. "Give it back to her Alexander. Please." He looked at her and frowned. "You're not helping me Sasha," he said frowning.

"No, I'm not," she said firmly. "We can't control her, it's her life. Give it back." "What are you talking about?" he asked her with cold eyes. "You know what I'm talking about!" I said shaking myself out of his grip. "My locket! The one from the mantle. I need it now! Give it back Alexander!" I said reaching for his bag. "It's in my luggage," he said with finality.

I looked at him in horror and began to run toward the plane. I'd never make it in time.

He grabbed me before I took more than a few steps and held me still. "Stop it Clara!" he said firmly. "This is what's best for you." "NO!" I said, my tears beginning to stream. "I have to get to that plane!" "It's not on the plane!" he growled at me. I looked into his green pained eyes and fell to my knees.

It was 11:59 pm.

"Please…" I begged. "Please Alexander," I said my voice cracking. His eyes scrunched in pain and he kneeled to me. "Please…" I begged bowing my head to the floor. I had too much to lose. "Please Alexander!" "Please don't cry," he said picking me up and stroking my face. "Please!" I sobbed louder. "Why him?" he asked softly trailing his fingers down my face. "Please," I whispered, my eyes bright red.

My time was almost up. Sasha began to tear and knelt beside Alexander who held my head. "Let her go Alexander," she said tears trickling down her face. "We have to let her go." Alexander looked tired, angry, and distraught in one split second and then reached into his turtleneck. The locket had been around his neck. He snapped it off and slowly put it gently around my neck. I looked at him with wide stunned eyes. "Please be happy," he said smiling painfully at me. I saw that he had given up, I had broken his heart. Then he put Sasha's hand on my shoulder and I opened the locket.

The clock chimed 12:00pm. We watched as we started to go transparent.

The people around them didn't seem to notice and with one last look Alexander boarded his plane.

* * *

Chapter 12: All over again (FINAL CHAPTER)

_The beginning of the end_

_Is the end of the beginning_

_Duty and consequence, Push you to be your all_

_Fate can make you rise and fall_

_Moving on, Since you've been gone_

_At last I've reached the end_

_You'll always be my friend_

_Dear God where have you been?_

_And yet I would do this_

_All over again_

_-Tudedeluxe_

I felt the same disorientation that I had when I had fallen through the mouse hole.

* * *

Sasha screamed loudly and held onto my waist as we free fell through a void of color.

Then suddenly we were at the park, a different park then yesterday. The snow covered this one too and there were white marble gargoyles and angels standing on pillars. They seemed as though they had been fashioned out of the snow by a master builder. Evergreen trees thrived in heavy bushy rows and the occasional pine cone could be seen peeking out on the ground. In front of us standing as still as any of them was Eric. Instinctively I turned to look into Sasha's eyes. I saw she was trying to be strong.

"I just want to say…" she began. "That you are the best friend I have ever had and I will miss you dearly." A tear dropped from her eyes and dried instantly on her cheek as the wind whipped around us. My heart clenched and my mouth lacked the words needed to express my feelings. "Go," she whispered pointing toward him. "Go." She stayed back as I walked toward Eric and I looked back several times, afraid she would disappear. She stood there limply like a ghost, but her eyes burned her determination. I could never thank her enough. "Why don't you come wait inside the car with us?" a gruff voice beckoned.

Turning I saw Mint ushering Sasha with a firm but gentle hand on the small of her back. She craned her neck as she stumbled forward like a child separated from their mother. I just smiled as genuinely and heartfelt as I could in her direction. She nodded and gave me a small smile as her tears began to run freely. Then I looked straight ahead. Eric had been watching at the exchange and I saw flakes of snow coated on his eyelashes.

"Did you wait out here?" I asked noticing he had resembled the statutes partly because he was too covered in snow. "Yes," he replied, his voice strained because of the cold. "For how long?" I asked touching his face with my gloved hand. "Since this morning," he replied evasively. "What do you consider morning?" I asked him stepping closer to his flushed face and red lips. Seeing I was not going to give it up he replied "12:00 am." I stared at him in horror. "Are you crazy? Why didn't you wait in the car?" I growled as I patted the snow off his slightly trembling form. "I didn't want to miss you," he replied smirking. I rolled my eyes and shook his head to get the snow out of his hat.

"I would have walked around you idiot! You're freezing, just look at…" He gripped my right hand which previously had been dusting off his shoulder and slowly brought it to the front of him. Looking at it he gently pulled my glove off and kissed my palm before putting my hand on his face. His beautiful blue eyes fixed onto mine and he said, "There. All better." His face was freezing but instead of feeling his cold I felt heat rush through my body. "NC," I said as he put his other arm around me. "You really are a blockhead."

He laughed, the sound rippling through his body to touch mine. "You haven't called me that in years." I sighed and stepped back from him and pulled my hand away from his face. "I haven't seen you in years," I said frankly. "What have you been doing? Why didn't you come for me last year?" He sighed and I could tell I was not going to like the answer. "The rat king still had followers," he said frowning. "Most of them were not advanced enough to plan, but a few were close to causing a lot of damage to random villages."

I nodded to show that I wasn't furious…yet. "The problem with an unintelligent villain is that you can't track their movements," he explained extending his elbow. I grinned trying not to blush at his act of chivalry that was normal in his world. As I took it we began to walk.

"They could not be predicted so Mint and I had to reform the troops. One thing that was very helpful to us was that the soldiers who had been frozen were unfrozen thanks to you. I personally had Mint and Candy oversee their reconditioning and they collected the last of his supporters." "What did you do with them?" I asked curious as to how he dealt with the situation.

"Well," he said glad that I was interested. "…I gave them the choice to become full-fledged Parthenian citizens should they adhere to the taxes and rules of the kingdom. Most agreed considering the mouse king wasn't exactly a saint. Those who refused were banished." "Isn't all of Parthenia yours?" I asked a little shocked. "Where could they go?"

For a moment I noticed he looked uneasy. "There is a lot of Parthenian history that you don't know Clara," he said firmly. "To every good there is bad. True Parthenia is mine, ours, but there are some places that are best left alone as long as they stay to themselves." I nodded suddenly feeling that Parthenia wasn't exactly perfect just like our world.

"This is…not the time," he said suddenly stopping. He clasped my hands in his and his eyes once again latched onto mine. "Have you decided?" he asked so soft I was unsure if he had asked me, or I had asked myself. "I needed to see you," I said, trapped inside his eyes. He could see right through me, fancy words were pointless. "I want you," I whispered, steam rising from my lips.

What else could I say?

"I love my family," I added trying to make sense of what I was saying. "What will I tell them?" "What do you want to tell them Clara?" he asked me gently. I thought for a moment. Insane asylum story or fake ambassador story? "Could you tell them?" I asked suddenly hopeful.

"Could you take them to Parthenia with us?" He looked at me and sighed big and loud. Uh oh. "Time runs differently in Parthenia," he said frowning. "To you it's been two years?" he asked, an eyebrow raised. I nodded. His eyes shone in concern. "Well for us it's been a matter of just one year." I was shocked. How? "And in addition we have more days than you. So I've spent more time away from you then you have me, and yet I am just 22 while you are now 19."

My jaw dropped and I sputtered. "Wha…what do you mean?" "I'm saying that constant time travel could have dire effects on non-Parthenians," he replied. "I'm saying that I could bring them with us…" his eyes looked guilty. "…but I might not be able to bring them back." "I'm not from Parthenia," I declared frustrated. "Does that mean I can't come back?" "Actually I have a theory," Eric said once again looking guilty. "The Sugar Plum Princess is. Since you are her, it's possible that…"

"I was born in New York," I interrupted, my heart beginning to race. "Where was your mother born?" Eric asked softly.

My eyes widened.

"I don't know," I said panicking. "My Grandfather was in Vietnam. He's from this world!" He looked at me sadly. "Are you sure he's your Grandfather?" My heart stopped. "That's not even funny Eric," I said pulling from him. Grandfather was all me and Tommy had ever had for most of our lives. "All I'm saying…" he tried but I cut him off. "He's my Grandfather!" I said glaring. He looked up in the sky and I felt the cold for the first time since I had been with him. "Then you can't come back," he said softly.

I looked at him and heard screaming, glass breaking, cars crashing.

It took me a moment to realize it was inside of me. I fell to my knees. "Oh my God," I said breathlessly. "I can't come with you." My heart began to race uncontrollably and I started to hyperventilate as the truth came crashing down on me.

I couldn't have him. I just couldn't.

"I can't come with you!" I said as my tears began to fall. Then the panic began to set in. "I-I CAN'T COME WITH YOU!" I screamed gasping and pulling at my hair. "I CAN'T! I CAN'T!" Eric rushed to my side and gathered my panicking form in his arms. "CLARA CALM DOWN!" he yelled above me, but I was beyond him. "I CAN'T COME WITH YOU!" "CLARA STOP IT!" "NO! NO!" "CLARA!" "WHY? WHY! I CAN'T!"

Suddenly his lips crushed into mine and he began to kiss me while I wriggled against him. His hand was tangled into my hair and kept me in place while his other wrapped around my waist to guarantee no escape. At first the kiss was fierce and demanding, but as I began to calm down it became longing, soft as though he was afraid to stop.

I don't remember breathing, but when he released my lips he was the only one gasping.

"Are you alright now?" he whispered, his forehead against mine. "Yes," I sighed. "But not for long." "It's alright Clara," he said pressing his lips against my forehead. "I know what I must do. I'll give up my crown."

"No Eric," I said firmly. "Do you love me Clara?" "No Eric." He looked up at me and I was shocked by the fierce expression in his eyes. "Would you like to try that again looking me in the eyes?" "I hate you," I gasped out glaring at him.

And believe me I did. For everything he was making me feel. The pain, the weakness, the brief moments of insanity.

Everything. I didn't even notice I was still crying. "I didn't ask you that," he said calmly. "I fricken hate you Eric!" I growled. "I hate you too," he said smiling softly. "I'm going to give up my kingdom for you because I love you more. It's going to make me really popular back home." "I won't let you do it," I said shaking my head. "I won't." "I'd give up the world for you." "You shouldn't have to." He chuckled. "Life's unfair. You shouldn't have to give up your happiness too."

Then he closed his arms around my still crying form and whispered into my hair. "Please tell me you love me."

I felt his warmth and cried as I realized how much I wanted to stay in his arms. "I love you. More than you'll ever know," I said closing my eyes. "Then we'll find a way," he said running a hand down my back comfortingly. "There's always a way. I'll never let you go. Ever." I laughed through my tears at his cheesy lines.

"Where have you been all my life?"

"Parthenia."

I laughed again. "It's an expression. You're not supposed to actually answer."

"Really?" His tone made me look up and I saw he was trying to look serious but failing miserably. I hit him for tricking me and he finally laughed out. "Let's go inside before we both freeze," he said pulling us out of the snow.

"You didn't seem to worry too much about that earlier," I said taking his elbow. He shrugged. "The thought of you kept me warm." I raised an eyebrow. "What kinds of thoughts were you having?" He looked at me stunned and I laughed and raced off to the car.

Hey, I was 19. He chased after me and caught me when we arrived to the limo….not car. "Is this your car?" I asked him shocked. "Yes," he said opening the door for me. I decided to leave it alone and climbed in next to Sasha who was talking animatedly to Candy.

I noticed that she had her flirting tone on and it seemed to fly right over Candy who spoke to her innocently.

"Clara," Eric said sitting across from us. "Come with me. I promise you'll come back again." "Yes," I replied smiling. "I trust you." His face opened with a smile so beautiful that it nearly knocked me over and Sasha stopped what she was saying to stare at him. "Damn," she mouthed to me. I nodded. Yup. "You're in trouble." I nodded again. Yes, yes more than you know. I noticed her eyes were dry and she looked calm. "You're taking this well," I said grinning at her. She shrugged and took a sugar cookie that lay on a tray on the side of us.

"I don't know. I was afraid you were going to just poof away. I didn't expect some form of process or civility." "Great," I said drily. "Nice to know you think I got hitched to a savage." "You know what I mean," she sniffed taking a bit of her cookie. "This is the best I have ever had by the way," she said waving it with wide eyes. Eric laughed and closed the door. "Parthenia is the birthplace of Christmas treats." Then I refocused on the tasks at hand.

"Where are we going now?" I asked as Candy walked out to get into the driver's seat. Eric was currently pouring hot chocolate. I saw only two mugs and was once again touched by his chivalrous nature when he handed them to me and Sasha. "Where are the other mugs?" I asked. "I only expected four of us sorry," he said sheepishly. "I should have been more prepared." Sasha looked at him in surprise. "Are you for real?" He blinked. "I think so…are you for real?" Sasha shrugged.

"I don't really want it, you can have it. You look like an icicle." He nodded and took a long sip before turning to me. "We're going to your house, that's where the portal is," he said staring the limousine. I looked at Eric and wondered why he hadn't left me a note or something.

Men.

* * *

Time flies when you're having fun and suddenly we were at my house. Candy made the limo disappear and in its place was a black toy car. "It's standard," he said with a smile and walked in. "What does that mean?" Sasha asked me. I shrugged and we headed inside my house. As we got there I realized with shock that it was still 12:00 pm. "How?" Sasha asked before I could say the same. "This locket is a time article," Eric said picking it up from my neck. "With it your world runs in Parthenian time and in essence is frozen. "Hm," she said musing. "That would explain the lack of traffic."

Noticing something amiss with the overall feeling of my house I began to look around while Eric, Candy, and Mint began to feel around the wall next to my fireplace. Suddenly I heard a bunch of hooting and Sasha yelling. I rushed out and the owl from Madame Lafayette's clock swooped towards me and landed on my head.

I was stunned so I just stood there as it made its self comfortable on the top of my head. "I sensed you need my aid," she said in Madame Lafayette's strict but kind voice. "Uh, excuse me," I said looking up with my eyes. "Yes, we're looking to find a way to connect our worlds," Eric said pulling me to the center of the room.

The owl bobbed and I think it nodded. "I know what you seek." I saw a wing on the side of my head. It was beautiful and had three different layers of feather colors underneath it. "That unfortunately cannot be," she said firmly. "However, there is a way to travel between worlds without the effect of time." "But no one can travel between worlds and not feel the change in time," Eric said confused. The owl sighed and I could feel it bristle.

"This one doesn't learn easy does he?" she asked leaning over most of her body to my eye level. "Um, could you…" then she righted herself. "Nothing is impossible King Eric, you must know this by now." He nodded then looked at her stunned. "You knew?" She hooted. "Of course I knew. I am Clara's guardian spirit after all." I blinked. "Since when?" I asked confused. She finally jumped off and landed on the mantle. She gave me a smile that made me feel I knew the answer and turned to look at Sasha who was gaping at her.

"Close your mouth dear. You'll catch nothing inside," the owl said to her matter-of-factly. Sasha obeyed, but her eyes remained wide. "Hm," Eric said raising an eyebrow. "The Royalty of Parthenia are given animal guardians at birth. My father's was the mouse." "_Shut it up_ Eric." I snapped at him. The owl seemed to smile and for a minute I really missed Madame Lafayette. "You must go to the jeweler of dreams. He lives even farther than the sea of storms. On the island of Everlasting sunshine. "But it's impossible to…" Eric started but then stopped himself. "Sorry," he apologized. "Old habits die hard."

The owl hooted and then began again, her green emerald eyes sparkling. "He dwells in the one place the sun does not touch. There however lie all manners of dark and evil creatures whom are trapped there by the light and dare not leave its lairs. Find him and he will fashion a time article for you, similar to the one you hold Clara." "The locket right?" I asked. "It can help us travel?" "Yes, this is why you are able to return to your home using it. It cannot take you anywhere, but it can return you to its origin." I nodded slightly confused.

"Then how did it take me to where Eric was?" Eric chuckled and I shrugged as I regarded him. "Pardon me for this sentence, but home is where the heart is. Literally as well." The owl nodded and I wanted to hit Eric. That meant just being able to simply go to him would mean I'd have to be in love with him. The sexy bastard. "I see," I replied, maintaining my grace and dignity. The owl flew back to her perch on the clock. "You and Eric must both prove you are worthy of his gift and then he will bestow it to you in a form of his choosing." "Thank you," Eric said bowing.

"You're welcome," she said. "But know this. A house divided cannot stand, just as a door that is not closed cannot block out the rain. One cannot have two halves and expect to be whole." I frowned and felt her eyes grasp onto mine.

"In the end, you both must choose your own path."

For a moment I was a child again being hit by Madame Lafayette's cane in a pale pink leotard that was faded from constant washing. I could see a scene of her teaching me my very first moves in black and white and I felt my eyes well up. Why the hell was I crying so much lately? "Could you contact Madame Lafayette for me?" I asked her softly. "No," she said firmly fluffing her feathers. "But I think she'd say she's very proud of what you've become." "Wait!" I yelled, but it was too late, the owl returned to the clock.

Eric nodded to Mint and he straightened. "About face now," he said straightening. "Jolly ho." "Alright," he said addressing everyone in the room. "We have our mission. Time runs differently than here in Parthenia. We must go now so your time will not be affected. But if a year goes by in Parthenia before we find the next time article the timeline will go on and life will resume without Clara." I turned to see how Sasha was doing. She stood slightly outside of our circle.

"Sasha…" I said, going to her and taking her hands. She beamed at me brightly and I could only smile back. "You will return," she said smiling. "Be home soon. Before I have to make an excuse. I love you and be safe. Got it?"

"Got it. Love you too," I said giving her a huge bear hug. "Oh," she whispered into my ear. "When you come back be sure to bring me some…Candy."

"What kind?" I asked. Then I followed her line of vision to the handsome Indian man standing next to Eric.

I shook my head. "Goodness Sasha. Will you ever stop devouring men?" She shrugged. "Maybe I just need to taste some Candy."

"You are so wrong." "Are you ready Clara?" Eric said standing in front of the fireplace. "This is crazy as hell." I said smirking. "I'm as ready as I'll ever be." I let go of Sasha's hand and Eric asked for my locket. Taking it he held it toward the fireplace. The fireplace wall disappeared and widened into a large dark opening. A human sized mouse hole. "See you all very soon. Safe travels!" Sasha yelled. Mint and Candy waved goodbye and Sasha blew a kiss specifically to Candy.

Candy blushed and Mint frowned. "Did you see that?" he whispered to Candy. "I'm twice her age! Fresh little children nowadays." Candy gave me a knowing look and I gave him a smile. Just like old times. Eric took my hand and gave it a kiss before holding onto it.

"We shall have to get you proper battle attire. Perhaps a pair of boots?" he asked me, his eyes filled with all the love in the world. "Yeah," I said, feeling every bit like my old self. "I like to leave an imprint when I kick ass."

Then we all walked into the dark, ready to fall into a new and brighter world filled with wondrous possibilities.

* * *

When Clara left Alexander felt a part of himself leaving with her.

It hurt and he tried to block her out. She had hurt him, but when she had knelt before him crying, he saw he was hurting her as well. He loved her more than that. If she was happy then that's what mattered the most. He would never forget her gentle and yet strong beauty. The way she exuded it when she danced. God, she was perfect. Just not for him. He forced himself to repeat it. Just not for him. It was better that way. Maybe it was best that he did not go back to the school after this year.

He was good enough to try out for a company. It was for the best. He didn't look around him. He might have noticed that everyone around him was frozen.

He was in his own world and sat next a man with white leather gloves on and a newspaper in front of him. "You look down son," the man said, his voice thick and deliberate. "I'm fine," Alexander said now angry that strangers could sense the war in his soul. "Are you _sure_?" he asked peering above the top of the newspaper. Alexander was a little shocked to see that the man was not in fact old looking. He had a tan complexion and circular spectacles from the 1900's on his face. On his head was what appeared to be an old derby. His eyes were most striking because they were an acid yellow. "Yeah," Alexander said frowning heavily and turning to look away from him. "

Oh," the man said returning to his newspaper. "Well that makes one of you." "Excuse me?" Alexander said, his temper rising. He could fight this man and get the anger out of his system. It seemed rational in his current state. "Well I was referring to dear Clara," the man drawled with fake concern.

Alexander snatched his newspaper from him and crumpled it in his hand throwing it behind him. "_What do you mean_?" Alexander seethed, his teeth gritted. The man straightened and looked at Alexander with amusement, revealing a cane by his knees. "Why she's in Parthenia now isn't she? With that _villain _Eric." Alexander stood up and his fists tightened. "Calm down now son," the man said staring into his eyes. Inside Alexander felt like the man was a lot more then he seemed. "What's going on? Talk old man," Alexander said sitting down again, facing the man. The man smiled and turned to Alexander as well.

"Listen, Parthenia is not the way Clara described it. She was being deceived by his magic. His eyes can hypnotize, that's why Sasha suddenly started helping Eric. He used her. He plans on exploiting Clara's magic." The man gestured toward the plane. "Look around you. See what he has done." Alexander looked around and was shocked to see everyone stuck in motion. Frozen. "How? Why?" "To give himself more time of course," the man said casually. "They're stuck in time. The time he stole to make the trip back to Parthenia."

The man stood up and leaned over an infant who was frozen in a cry. "And they don't even know," he said leaning on his cane. "A pity really." "What's going to happen to them?" Alexander said panicked. "Can we snap them out of it?" "No," the man said shaking his head sadly. "The only one who can unfreeze time is the Sugar Plum Princess. You know her as Clara." Alexander stared at him with wide eyes. "What is he going to do to her?" "Nothing at the moment," the man said walking perfectly fine though he kept his cane in hand.

It was wooden with a strange circle top like a golden knob. "She's still in love with him, but when she finds out the truth…" He looked at Alexander. "I fear for the poor girl." Alexander felt his heart beat uncontrollably. This couldn't be. "Then why aren't I frozen?" The man laughed and Alexander felt his eyes grab hold of him. "Smart boy. That's because of me. You see I'm trying to save Parthenia. That's why I need you to rescue Clara."

His eyes burned intensely as he stared at Alexander. "It'd be like killing two birds with one stone."

"What could I do?" Alexander said his head pounding. "Well in Parthenia with a little bit of me and my friend's help you'd be more powerful then Eric. You could beat him with little effort." The prospect was like gold and Alexander swallowed his greed. "Why haven't you done this?" The man smiled with his teeth and Alexander saw they were pointy. "I've tried," he said sadly. "Unfortunately I was not strong enough. That's why I look this way. I've been…deformed."

Alexander felt sorry for this strange looking man and thought of his love. He agreed to let go if she was happy. He'd die before he let her be enslaved or worse! "I'm in," he said confidently. "Wonderful," the man said smiling. "My Queen will be pleased." "Queen?" Alexander asked. "Oh yes," the man said walking down the aisle. "You'll meet her soon Alexander." "By the way," Alexander said following him. "How do you know my name?" The man gave him a grin.

"I'm a magical being. It's my job to know about heroes." Alexander frowned as they opened an emergency hatch, the plane was still on the ground. Spinning his cane Alexander was shocked when a hole literally ripped into the sky.

"That's our portal," the man said looking at the ripped, gnarled opening with affection. "Hey," Alexander said before they jumped out into it. "Yes my child?" the man said gently. "What's your name?" The man smiled even wider than before, baring all his scary looking canines.

"You can call me…Mouse."

* * *

**END NOTES!READ!READ!XD**

_**Hi, I just wanted to thank everyone who stayed with me through the Clara and the Nutcracker story.**_

_**It'd been an honor to write for you, even those of you who are reading but not reviewing. **_

Based on the polls most of you are fervent Clara X Eric shippers to the point where any other pairing would be blasphemous. I personally find this hilarious. This is the last chapter, 12 chapters signifying the 12 days of Christmas. Yes I am a weirdo, embrace it.

Thank you barbiegirl2435: I'm glad you like it and I hope the end lived up to your expectations. Be sure to tell me!

Thank you Chocolatesyrup: You Pmed your response and I thankful you enjoyed my story. Be sure to review!

Thank you Orca: You were one of my first reviewers. Thanks a lot.

**A special shout out to Reverend Lovejoy **with whom I've had the most correspondence and whose reviews did actually alter some of my original plot ending. The original was a lot less exciting. I encourage you all to have an active say in my story because after all, I write for you.

It's been fun and we'll pick it up starting on December 18th with the first chapter of the sequel, "The Rat that Bit at the Nutcrackers' Sugar Plum."

Oh, and like always **REVIEW! EVEN IF YOUR NEW CUZ YOU KNOW THAT I WILL LOVE YOU!**


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